TOP FATAL THINGS TO SAY TO PREGNANT WIFE

17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/u/mcking.gif

Very good! I don't know if they'd all cause fatalities but a definite maiming! :D

Or the dismemberment of a certain organ [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

ark! I sense the definite omnislash in the making. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

if you say any of that to your wife.. its your suicidal death wish [img]tongue.gif[/img] :D

can we add calling the pregnant woman "jigglypuff"? nathan knows that is fatal

This would have to be the best [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Kakero, I sense a life-sized living 'Ken Doll' in the making. Screaming in a Falsetto high 'C' sharp, no doubt.

<font color=ff6600> [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img] Being the father of 3 going on 4, I can confirm that these are definitely not things to say. Unless of course you don't want to wake up...ever! :D I have got to show this to Lady Aberdene! </font>

Are we speaking out of experience, perhaps? ;)