Ironworks Gaming Forum - Hey TL, Lawyer Humor

Ironworks Gaming Forum (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/index.php)

- General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005) (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=28)

- - Hey TL, Lawyer Humor (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=84342)

Hey TL, and anyone else out there, I don't know if you've ever seen this, but this is something they have us read at West Group to get us familiar with the Law. It's written by a lawyer, but it's pretty funny. For example, one of the Q&A's:
Q: How does one of our clients become a lawyer (and how to avoid the same fate)?

5 Minute Law School Summary: Born ----->genetic defect ------>desire to be a lawyer -----> take LSAT -----> accepted into law school ------> three years of torment ------>rest of life in torment ------> Die

I found this funny and thought I'd pass it on to the rest of you for humor and education. Enjoy :D

http://members.aol.com/ronin48th/hope.htm

[img]graemlins/whipitgood.gif[/img] WELCOME TO PICK ON TL DAY AT IRONWORKS!!!! [img]graemlins/thewave.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/whipitgood.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/cake.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/apresent.gif[/img] :D :D :D :D [img]graemlins/evilhaha.gif[/img]

Actually, this was quite good. And very accurate. I loved this one:

Quote:

Sample LSAT Question:

You own a 15 story hotel that needs new carpet on each floor. There are six colors of carpet (green, red, blue, yellow, brown, black) and two types of each color (shag and regular). The 3rd and 8th floor both have new carpet already (The 3rd has yellow shag and the 8th has brown regular). You must put carpet on the remaining floors.

However, the following restrictions apply: A brown carpeted floor cannot be above a red carpeted floor, a blue carpeted floor cannot be above or below a black carpeted floor, and a blue carpeted floor cannot be used above the 5th floor. Also, a red carpeted floor(s) cannot have shag and a black carpeted floor(s) must have regular carpet.

Q: What color and type of carpet will be on the ninth floor?
A: You can go mad doing these problems, mad I tell you! It is, of course, a trick question. The real answer is you torch the building and collect the insurance money because you would never get anyone to live in an apartment with green shag carpet.

So very very true. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

LOL, TL, you poor guy. I feel sorry for you all the time. You must have a death-wish. Good thing you're moving on to another profession :D

What's your new job all about, by the way? [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 02-19-2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Arledrian ]

Well, Arledrian, right now I'm trying to assess a client's liability for the fire/explosion of a huge container of Draino it sent to a warehouse that caused $130K damage. I never knew Draino rapidly decomposed in the presence of water, releasing enough heat to, in large amount, set plastic on fire. Anywho, then I got to figure out proper language to disclose this in a document - because we're selling the company and must advise of all outstanding liability. Truly riveting.

Hey.... where'd everybody go?

Quote:

Originally posted by Timber Loftis:
Well, Arledrian, right now I'm trying to assess a client's liability for the fire/explosion of a huge container of Draino it sent to a warehouse that caused $130K damage. I never knew Draino rapidly decomposed in the presence of water, releasing enough heat to, in large amount, set plastic on fire. Anywho, then I got to figure out proper language to disclose this in a document - because we're selling the company and must advise of all outstanding liability. Truly riveting.

Hey.... where'd everybody go?

It's basically solid caustic (NaOH) - just add water - exothermic reaction - lots of heat given off - enclosed package - no room for expansion and dissapation. You mean to say a package like that wasn't labelled KEEP DRY???

On the Draino packages they sell in shops there are all sorts of warnings about potential blow-backs (mini explosions) and heat given off if people force the reaction to occur in an enclosed space.

Hmmm..... I wonder if it's on their MSDS's (material safety data sheets).

Quote:

Originally posted by Timber Loftis:
Hmmm..... I wonder if it's on their MSDS's (material safety data sheets).

Just looked at the instructions on the drain cleaner sitting in my cupboard. It isn't Draino (is "Home Brand" drain cleanser), but chemically it is the same (caustic in solid form). It says keep area well ventilated, do NOT put plug over drain (ie not enclose), add recommended dose of solids, then add water and retire from area immediately - warns of the potential for "blowback".

The MSDS's should have that info on it.

Thanks, Davros, though we've derailed the thread. I looked into it further and the Drano Foam MSDS does not say Drano Foam is a DOT-classified "oxidizer" but does mention that it contains "strong oxidizers." Specifically, though not noted on the MSDS, the culprit in this case is sodium dichloroiscyanurate - which has its own MSDS stating lots of nastiness. Given that the Drano MSDS was provided to the storage facility that mixed the shite w/ water I think it's their fault. Course, they pay me a lot to think that. ;)

Look, now I've even bored the crap out of myself.

LOL, Timber, what happened to the beautiful client who would do just anything ;) for you to get her off the hook for murdering her husband? You mean the practice of law is not sexy, glamorous, and exciting? Body Heat lied? :D