Compliments from a Lawyer

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," said a lawyer to a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment." replied the witness.

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven bankrupt

:D :D :D

Lawyers arent' that bad, except for criminal defense lawyers

Q: What do you call 200 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Paging Timber Loftis. Paging Timber Loftis

Please respond in this thread to preserve the reputation of your chosen profession ;)

*snicker* I´m sorry TL but I simply have to LLAO!! :D

Okay, one for the road. :D

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
"No," the coroner replied.

The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

The coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney.

Again the coroner replied, "No."

The attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

<font color="cyan">Oooh, a few funny jokes in this thread!!!!
:D </font>

Q: What do you call a schoolbus with 43 lawyers going over a cliff?

A: A waste of two empty seats. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all.
When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
:D