Ironworks Gaming Forum - I am the Emperor of Ice Cream!

Bow down before me or no Ice Cream for you!

Onion Horoscopes!

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
In spite of your repeated entreaties, no one seems willing to take your wife. Perhaps you should consider adding the word "please" to your request.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
The object of your affection seems oblivious to your romantic feelings. This is not surprising, as elephant seals have a limited capacity for empathy.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
Three-inch heels are coming back into style. Unfortunately for you, though, they're expected to be attached to shoes.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
The stars find that the time has come for you to put away childish things. Yes, that includes your three small children.

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
By the time your clever ruse is exposed, you'll be safely across the Swiss border, which seems like an excessive response to substituting yogurt for sour cream in recipes.

Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
This would be a good week to retake control of your life. Good, certainly, but not great.

Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
Much to your consternation, you discover that it takes more than nudity, llamas, and gin to scandalize the British consulate.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
You will reconsider your longtime conviction that there's nothing funny about brain cancer when presented with overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
You will be pleased by your appointment as Emperor Of Ice Cream, as you like ice cream and have always wanted to wield authority.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
You will get a nose ring this week when you momentarily believe yourself to be a Brahma bull.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
You will receive a formal letter from Johnny Cash stating, in no uncertain terms, that he is very disappointed in you.

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Remember: Sincerity is all well and good, but your suit and haircut are what the jury sees first.

[ 11-29-2002, 07:54 PM: Message edited by: Rokenn ]