Does anyone have any good jokes?
My one:
A rabbit walks into a hardware store and asks for a carrot.
Guy behind counter: No, check the shop up the road.
Rabbit walks out. Rabbit comes in the next day.
Rabbit: Got any carrots?
G.B.C: No, I told you to go check up the road!
Rabbit comes in the next day.
Rabbit: Got any carrots?
G.B.C: NO! If you ask me for carrots one more time, I'll nail you to the wall!
Rabbit exits.
Rabbits comes in the next day.
Rabbit: Got any nails?
G.B.C: No.
Rabbit: Got any carrots?

And, totally off topic but to stir up controvisty (s/p) I'll say...
Women should stay at home and work in the kitchen! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

*legs it, just out of reach of an angry mob of IW females*

***!!! Warning: If you don't like disturbing jokes, don't read the rest of my post !!!***
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What's blue and wiggles in the corner?
A baby with a bag on its head!

What's green and doesn't move?
The same baby 3 weeks later!

What's the difference between a tree and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a tree in my garage!

How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a dead baby!

What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive now?
Clawing at the inside of her coffin!

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?
Because she was a woman!

Now, before I get flamed, this does not reflect any hatred for babies, Princess Diana, or Helen Keller. They all did great things in our world, except babies which still do. They are just jokes for a little laugh.

<font color="gold">Dont have any good jokes myself, but let's hope that Arvon shows up. He has tons of good jokes! :D :D </font>

ohh, krishach, youve read the baby jokes too? they are hilarious, sadistic but hilarious :D

Ok, heres one:
How do you catch a green elephant?
In a gren elephant trap.
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How do you catch a Red elephant?
In a red elephant trap.
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How do you catch a purple elephant?
Well, duh, have you ever SEEN a purple elephant?
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Whats the difference between a plum and a purple elephant?
The plum's purple, the elephants not.
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What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels
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*drumroll*Ta Da!!

A little boy comes into the kitchen -

"What's for breakfast Mom?"

"Eggs, bacon and milk - but you have to do your chores first."

The little boy goes outside, grumblng all the way, while his mother watches through the kitchen window.

First, he goes to the barn and milks the cow, but on the way out he kicks the cow.

Then, he goes over to the pigsty and feeds the pigs, but as he leaves, he kicks a pig.

Finally he heads over to the chicken coop. He collects the eggs, and feed the chickens. As he leaves the coop, he gives one of the chickens a healthy boot.

At last he goes back into the kitchen, and asks "okay, I'm done. Where's breakfast?"

You don't get any breakfast" announces his mom. "I saw you kick the chicken, the pig and the cow, so no eggs, bacon or milk for you."

Just then, the boys father comes into the kitchen, and gives the family cat a healthy kick in the butt.

The little boy looks up at his mom, smiles, and says, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

[ 05-03-2002, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Micah Foehammer ]

<font color = lightgreen>What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
You can't make a vitamin.

*****

What is the difference between an actuary and a Mafia actuary?
An actuary can tell you how many people will die next year.
The Mafia actuary can name them.</font>

LOL this same joke was posted in last month's Maxim, which I'm an avid reader of :D

LOL ... didn't see it in Maxim, a friend sent it to me. it's STILL funny. [img]smile.gif[/img]

A baby seal walks into a club....