Ironworks Gaming Forum - the inept and the flu

Flu Notes.....

(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well meaning husband who has inherited the house and kids.)

Monday A.M. Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around six.

Tuesday A.M. Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator.
Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke
I put in the Thermoses? The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M. Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane
would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time,
could you please come up with a likely spot for Chris's missing
shoes? We've checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of
the car and wood box. Did you know the school has a ruling on
bedroom slippers? There's some cold pizza for you on a napkin
in the oven drawer. Will be late tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts
to tour meatpacking house.

Thursday A.M. Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested
last night at 9 P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in
answers to following:
1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal?
2. How do you turn off the milkman?
3. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?
4. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of
a small boy's hand?
5. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you
when you open the door?
I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me!

Friday A.M. Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to
restore pink dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the
ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time.
I called your mother.