My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Fridays.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with
marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't
like to interrupt
her.

The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to'.

LOL :D - havn't heard these before, great stuff!

lol hehehe: )

LOL... very funny! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Heh heh. I meet alot of retired couples in their 70's and above in my line of work and I make a habit of mentioning to the husbands that it is really great to see couples who grew old together. The irony is that they were nearly unanimous in stating that the key to a long commited marriage is that the wife is always, ALWAYS right.

ROTFLMAO! At first i thought youw ere being seriouse but then around punchline number 4 I realized this was just another one of your famouse joke threads [img]smile.gif[/img] good ones too!

:rolleyes: ;)

Me enjoying freedom til like 17 and I can drive.... then I submit myself to Them.......

Haven't you picked up on the trend yet - JD is usually serious on other people's threads. If you see a JD thread it's time for a good laugh. Keep up the good work buddy.

Oh great stuff, John! [img]smile.gif[/img]