i really do not know what i can say or do... i feel so torn apart... never did i feel so much pain that it vents out via tears that trickle down my cheek. on the other hand, i have finished my CAT summer, since we were deferred... and then my name popped up on the grad list... so i am going to march... i have passed and will enter my dream school... and i had Joelle again for my date on our ball... and that is where it was torn... not only did i feel bad physically, i felt bad spiritually and emotionally. now did i only realize... she is nowhere near my grasp anymore... not only did i waste it before, now it seems there are no second chances... as we go on to college i feel her drifting farther... and farther not even friends can save us from all of this... never thought it felt so bad... never did i really cry over something so much... i can't think, i can't write, i can't talk right, think right, and i feel blank and empty... i have lost the one fire i ever really had that made me survive one day after the other... and i cannot believe i am starting to cry again... anyways, sorry i just want to throw this all up... i don't want to bother anybody anymore... but at least if you read this you are willing to throw yourself into the fray... heh...

Ryan

Ryan, I'm sorry to hear that.

It's not going to mean much to you now, but the pain will pass, believe me. Just hang in there mate.

just because you'll be far apart doesn't mean you wont be able to keep in touch... you could treat this as a test to your love and if you truley love eachother then you don't have to worry about being a way from eachother a few months at a time...

Sorry you are hurting. I know how that feels like. I know the emotional pain is intense. Cry your heart out, man, we all do that from time to time.

no you don't quite understand, but then i didn't say anything about it anyway... but then it is not what you think it is... just see to what i am saying and don't make you own... i don't want to prolong this into one whole thread on where you guys are hitting me coz i am jerk or something coz i am not and i am sick and tired of people assuming coz i have been a victim of my own medicine and its poison...

yes yes, he doesnt understand, my friend, but I know you are hurting, love hurts. It is a huge price we pay for giving our heart to someone, I am sorry things turn out this way. You don't have to explain anything, take care, ok? We will be here for you when you need to let things out.

to accept is the best way to start putting your life up and make a better foundation.. IW will be behind you and support you all the way [img]smile.gif[/img]

thanks TheThing hope it passes fast... as Epona said it will pass...

oh... i just realized what you were talking about, well dont worry ... cheer up! The new colledge you're going to will be filled with new freinds and companions. Change is always tought but eventually you learn to get used to things and you'll find life to be enjoyable again... ;)

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~cuddles~

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