Alternate True Sayings


Birds of a feather flock together so they can crap on your car.


There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.


When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog that barks all the time run to the end of his chain and gag himself.


If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.


A penny saved is a government oversight.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


He who hesitates is probably right.


If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Oh How True Are They? Especially The Last One. If Your Parent Says Your FULL Name... Run..