A bit more hungarian humour for y'all...please don't be offended any nations/groups, we take the piss out of every possible group even within the country. :D All in the nature of good humour, not ill feeling...
Jasim and Nuhim order a salmon in the restaurant. Nuhim splits it in two and takes the bigger piece. - That wasn't very nice of you! - shouts Jasim- if I was splitting it up, I would have given the smaller piece to myself. Nuhim shrugs: - It's there, take it. A cockerel is flattened by a car on the highway. After the accident the driver gets out and carries the dead bird to the nearby house. - Madam- he says to the woman who answers the door- I'll do everything in my power to compensate you for your loss. - OK, sir, go round the back of the house, the chickens are getting restless. Jack is looking after their cow while it grazes and Jill is looking after their bull. All of a sudden the bull rushes over to the cow and begins mating just like that. Jack watches for a while then says to Jill: - Jill, what would you say if I did what the bull was doing right now? - I don't care, it's your cow. In a restaurant: - Can I take your order sir? - Do you have tortoise soup? - Have you ever tried crocodile soup, sir? - Never. - Yes, in fact we do.... To understand these, you have to know Jews and their great business sense and love for business: Kohn the Jew is dying. His family are at his bed-side and he calls them in turn: - Rebecca, my wife, are you here? - I'm here darling. - Regina, my daughter are you here? - I'm here, father. - Itzig, my son, are you here? - I'm here, father. The dying man suddenly sits up: - Oh no! Who's looking after the shop!? Old Kohn wants to buy some coke at the airport from the drinks machine. He inserts a dollar and presses the button. Nothing comes out. He inserts another dollar, presses the button, but still nothing. - Ahhhh, clever. Very clever..... ------------- The golden fish (you know the one who grants 3 wishes if you throw him back into the water after you have caught him ) and the shark switch places for a week. At the end of the week, the golden fish returns and asks the shark: - So how was it? Was it busy? - Nah, but there was this one dude, he wished that he had a d**k that reached the ground....so I bit his legs off. Hehe, as you can see we like to joke about any nations/groups we can. So not to leave Scots out: (Scots are famous for being stingy, in jokes anyway ) ;) : A Scot is walking around in Venice, daydreaming. He bumps into an old school-mate: - Whoah it's you!- shouts his mate- What the hell are you doing here? - I'm on my honeymoon. - Congrats! And where's your wife? - She's already been to Venice. |
if anyone actually READS them, feel free to let me know, cos I can always post more. On the other hand if people don't like jokes I can always NOT post more. :rolleyes: :D
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Keep em coming. Im not even going to ask you to lay off the Scots jokes [img]smile.gif[/img]
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<font color=lightblue> Some are quite funny *grynz* but I didn't get the scots one... hmmmm ~ponderz~ </font>
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Frugal, Vaskez....the Scots are Frugal :D
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