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-   -   Out of the mouths of Ladies (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71641)

Sazerac 10-30-2001 11:13 PM

These are quotations of inspiration, humor, and wisdom from the ladies of the world. Read, and enjoy!

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
.................................................. ......

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
-Jan King-
.................................................. ............

A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The
dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey,
come back here with my breast!"
-Linda Ellerbee-
.................................................. .............

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
.................................................. ...............

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
-Geri Jewell-
.................................................. ....................

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
.................................................. ...................

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
.................................................. .....................

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
.................................................. ......................

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
.................................................. ......................

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-
.................................................. .......................

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
.................................................. .......................

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

.................................................. .......................

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
.................................................. .......................

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
.................................................. .......................

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
.................................................. .......................

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning.
-Catherine Aird-
.................................................. .......................

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
.................................................. .......................

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb
...and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
.................................................. .......................

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong-
.................................................. .......................

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
.................................................. ...................

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
.................................................. .......................

I think---therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
.................................................. ......................

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country.
-Elayne Boosler-
.................................................. ......................

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson
.................................................. .......................

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
.................................................. .......................

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
.................................................. .......................

I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
-Marie Corelli-
.................................................. ......................

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-
.................................................. ...............

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
.................................................. .................

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Cheers,


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http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz1.gif
Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!

Moni 10-30-2001 11:17 PM

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Ain't that the truth!!!!
http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/biglaugh.gif

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The best thing about karma is that you create your own.

Pets Need Love Too

Harkoliar 10-31-2001 07:40 AM

nice one http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...

Hiram Sedai 10-31-2001 09:18 AM

A couple of those puppies are going on my mailroom quote board, Saz!! Thank you very much.

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"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
-Robert McCloskey
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<UL TYPE=SQUARE>
<LI>Token lackwit of HADB
<LI>Sycophant to the Wolf of Azure Hue
<LI>Long lost brother of DragonMage
<LI>Bearer of a work of art created by Sazerac
<LI>Jeg burde blive gennembanket for min flatulens.[/list]

Byronas 10-31-2001 09:26 AM

Nice Sazerachttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../xyxthumbs.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../xyxthumbs.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../xyxthumbs.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../xyxthumbs.gif!

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Where there are monsters and barbarians there will be Byronas fighting against them.
Leader of Keldorn's Order

Melusine 10-31-2001 10:01 AM

LOL - glad to see all the men appreciating them so much http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif
Those were funny, Saz! Thanks http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../xyxthumbs.gif

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Melusine, Sultry Elflet,
High Queen of Fluffies,
Archbabe of the OHF,
LH, HADB and ORT!
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif
Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art

Neb 10-31-2001 10:04 AM

ROFL Saz! Heheheh.

Bahamut 10-31-2001 11:02 AM

That was great! heehee! It made me crack! Now that is like two consecutive cracks on me! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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Mithril Cavalier of ALSB
You almost had me? You never had me! You never had your car! It is not about winning by a mile or by an inch, its about winning.
Once Upon A Paper


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