* The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol
content.
* I live in my own little world. But it's OK... they know me here.
* I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
"Implants?"
* I don't do drugs any more 'cause I find I get the same effect just
standing up really fast.
* Sign in Chinese pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea"
* Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.
* I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
* If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
* I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get
elected.
* The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.
* There are two sides to every divorce -- yours and Shithead's.
* If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes,
make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...
now THAT'S a message!!
* I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
* Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.
* I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
* I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!
* Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I've stayed alive.
* Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
* Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one
busted condom.
* If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead
rabbits on the highway?
* How come we choose from just two people to run for President and 50
for Miss America?
* Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
* Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
* Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
* The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage
disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
* Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
* Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise
words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
* Many people will walk in & out of your life, but only true friends
will leave a footprint on your heart.

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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS
Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!

heehee, that's me! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/biglaugh.gif LOL!

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http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/lioness1.jpg http://www.zekmages.50megs.com/images/anthani1.gif
Lil' Angel http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...angelwings.gif
Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan
The Lady Lioness of Castle Kerhelm
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe, PB's Pub, and the Promised Land
Official Restrainer of Table Dancers
PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division
Emerald Dragoness of DOTW
Incorrigible Redsox Fan
Unsuspecting Victim of one of Jerome and Rikard's Plots

Lol http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/biglaugh.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/biglaugh.gif



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" If you are guided by the stars, you will only be able to travel by night. If you are guided by a map, you will be dependant on a piece of paper that is easily lost. If you are guided by your soul, you will always choose the right path."

nice one http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...

sniff like that one http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif thanks for sharing !!

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...