Ironworks Gaming Forum - I love these lines!!!

OK, I found this on http://www.gamersguild.org.au/swancon.html, yth elink whihc someone else posted in another thread on GD.

Apparently these are quotes from players of the aforementioned gamer's guild during their PnP D&D sessions.

Read, and enjoy...

(Note: I will NOT be held responsible for keyboards and monitors ruined by coffee, coke or any other beverage snorting out of your nose due to uncontrollable laughter).

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*** Best Line Award ***
"I lick him, as is the custom of our kind"
- Rurik, Dwarven Fighter, after meeting the dwarven mining messenger.

"I'll do it, because my titties are attuned to danger!"
- Eloise, Human Paladin

"Stop helping me!"
- Rurik, Dwarven Fighter, after his 5 companions struggled futily against a rather ineffecual snake for over 3 rounds

"If I had a pig, I'd willingly sacrafice it."
- Rurik (again), Dwarven Fighter, after throwing all their rations to a Giant Pike

"Special effects are cheap and nasty in D&D"

"Hi guys, we came to help"
- Eloise, Human Paladin, after following her 2 companions into a pit trap

"I'll feed it his ferret"
- Muriel, Human Druid, after having a snake drop down on her, talking about the gnome's familiar.
"I'n cooing at it"
- Muriel attempting to calm the above snake

"My ferret is down my trousers"
- Fonkin, Gnome Illusionist, after Muriel's wolf intimidates it

"I poke him with my stick"
- Muriel, Human Ranger, about Fonkin

"I run over to the furthest corner of the room and I urinate. I'm a guy, I can do that."
- Milo, halfling rouge, attempting to distract the shambing mound

"Nothing smells worse than halfing piss"
- Fonkin, Gnome Illusionist, after Milo... well...

"If you lose it or break it, I'll hurt you. It's my stick. I use it for poking things."
- Muriel, Human Druid to Milo

"I wanna poke 'em with my stick!"
- Muriel, Human Druid, about the stone golem
"NO!"
- everyone else
"Fine, I bugger off"
- Muriel, Human Druid

"Go piss on it!"
- Fonkin, Gnome illusionist to Milo, about the stone golem

"It's ok, I've just had an egg."
- Mike Fineberg, Dungeon Master, about the worried players
"Brawk!"

"While I'm thinking bat-like, it sounds like he's looking at me"
- Muriel, Human Druid, after polymorphing into a bat, using sonar

"So, how much to dwarves weigh?" (Ed. - shades of Dwarven Throwing? http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif)
- Rykan, Human Cleric

"are you wanting to stick the dwarves into the bag of holding?"
- Fonkin, Gnome Illusionist
"that way we don't have to carry as many dwarves back"
- Rykan, Human Cleric

"Go weasle! Leave my pants!"
- Fonkin, Gnome Illusionist