Ironworks Gaming Forum - These were taken from actual Federal Employee "Performance" Evaluations.

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
2. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
3. I would not allow this employee to breed.
4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definitely won't be.
5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
9. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.
10. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
11. The employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
12. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic rings to hold it all together.
13. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ignoramus.
14. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
15. He doesn't have ulcers, but he is a carrier.
16. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
17. He's been working with glue too much.
18. He would argue with a signpost.
19. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
20. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
21. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
22. If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he's the other one.
23. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
24. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
25. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
26. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
27. Has two brains: one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
28. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
29. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

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