I'm thinking of submitting this to Forbes Magazine:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and
when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained by the
regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which
the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that
while alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate
the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster more efficient
machine. The result of this in depth study verifies and validates the causal
link between all weekend parties and job related performance. It also
explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting
married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new
graduates.

Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic
consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve
during their college years. This is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, We must not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint.

Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny
yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be
all that you can be.


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http://www.dabros.net/images/bg2guy/perin14.gif
The RudeDawg, known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come, Let them ALL come."
-"Ender says, 'The enemy is down.' "

DEEP DRINKING THOUGHTS

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. --William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his friends. --Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. --Anonymous

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. --Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. --Anonymous

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. --Anonymous

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --Anonymous

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? --W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. --Anonymous

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. --Anonymous

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven.... --Brian O'Rourke

He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer he world. --Kaiser Wilhelm

I drink to make other people interesting. --George Jean Nathan

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. --Homer Simpson

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http://www.dabros.net/images/bg2guy/perin14.gif
The RudeDawg, known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come, Let them ALL come."
-"Ender says, 'The enemy is down.' "

I get the point RudeDawg. I might have a tiny sip of alcohol before I die.

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.
http://train.missouri.org/~prestons/.../flamedrag.gif

BRO!

Good to cya back and great and funny post as always. I think Forbes Mag. would enjoy it.

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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...Rangereyes.gif

So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

Wow! Excellent post RudeDawg. I wholeheartedly agree and will keep agreeing for the rest of the evening, and tomorrow evening, etc!

Actually, I don't think he's back yet, GR...the post was originally made on July 3. Hopefully RudeDawg will be back online soon and with us again. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz.gif

Yeah, I've been missing him... glad someone posted on this and bumped it up! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif

http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif

LOL RudeDawg!! Well, I'll have a drink tonight then, for my "best interests" LOL http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Hey, feel smarter already! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif In with the good, out with the bad! Survival of the Fittest! Errr... yeah.. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/ausw_6.gif

LOL!

Oh yeah didnt check the date..



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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...Rangereyes.gif

So if in the forest look behind you, because that where the ranger is going to be

He's not back. False alarm everyone. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

CB

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http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow1.jpg

Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."