On the way home tonight I stopped by HomeDepot and "GOT ME A BOARD."http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
It wuz a purty board an I wuz gunna do some uv that wood cuttin stuff ol' Normy does on PBS.http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

Then, out of the blue, my wife yells down to my shop; "honey could you come here and do a favor for me?" Being the dutiful husband I like to think that I am, I answered; "absolutely!" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif She then advised me the project would take 5 to 10 minutes. This didn't shake my resolve in the least and I said; "that's alright." http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

When I reached the living room, where my pregnant wife was reclining, she asked (with big eyelashes batting over her big green eyes); "would you please paint my toenails?" Without skipping a beat I answered; "huh?!?" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif

For those of you who are unaware, there comes a point during pregnancy when women can no longer reach their feet.

At this point I realized all was not a total loss an told her; "I would be happy to paint your toenails." http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif However, my wife, who obviously knows me too well, said; "You can't play around. No drawing pictures on my toes. And you must stay on the toenail." Now all was a total loss. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif

So I painted her nails to the best of my ability, which is somewhere near median grade school quality. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/uhoh2.gif

Well, at least I still had my board. But as I headed back to my shop, with my tattered manly dignity barely intact, she said; "could you do one more favor before you go downstairs?" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/uhoh2.gif At this point I made a rookie move and turned to look at her as I answered. And there she was, still reclined, looking pregnant and helpless, with eyelashes batting. At this point I took my dignity firmly in hand and told her exactly what she could do with her requests. "Sure." I answered. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/crap.gif

"Would you please put lavender lotion and rose scented talcum powder on my feet?" she asked. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif So I did as she requested and prepared her feet, as close to her specifications as I am capable, for her night out at a baby shower. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/disgust.gif

BTW, guys did you know that applying talcum powder, before lotion is dry, produces a paste that is not easily removed? I didn't. Do now!

To make a long story short, my manly dignity is no longer in tact and I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy.

My humiliation runs deep!

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).]

Oh don't be so humiliated!
One of these days, if she hasn't already, she is going to have to ask for your help to get up from that recliner!
My most embarassing moment when I was pregnant was having to ask someone I barely knew if they could help me out of a chair!
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
Moni

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[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-09-2001).]

I'll take those tools.... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/338.gif

SISSY.... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif <---- ready if you come at me...

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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg
The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

Onthepequod, I feel for you (wife, & two daughters) about the only thing you can do is to look at it from a differant angle. Like when you have to go out to the store at 11:00pm to get femine products, it means you got a woman. After all we're all pondscum http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif and count ourselves lucky that one of the fairer sex slowed down to let us catch them. Go downstairs and get your most powerful power tool and make a lot of noisehttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif
"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

Don't fret mate, you did your best and you should be proud of it. Okay, perhaps the battering eyelashes "did" get you in the end but I'd say that was no way near as humiliating as some of my stuff. (please don't askhttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif)

PS: At least you "know" now how to paint toenails and put lotion/talcum powder.

I'd make a pretty cake-like mixture, if any woman told me the same thing.
No kidding. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

So I should say well done!

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http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif
Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah.

Hey can I have some tools too? I do actually use them, its my job! On second thought I better send you mine. It will help you regain ....what you lost http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Lets see....one nailgun,compressor, and framing hammer in the mail to ya.

Moni,
You sound like the voice of experience/wisdom. Actually we have been there (i.e. me assiting her to get up) for some time now...she's due 5/26. But I still tell her she is barely showing and only when you see her profile. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif


LoneStarDawg,
I wrote; "I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy." I did not say I am ready. Tsk, Tsk, RudeDawg. Trying to take another man's tools. Have you no shame? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif BTW the manfacturer specs my tablesaw at 560 lbs., you'ld have a tough time getting it up the basement stairs. Next time we move we're using movers. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Those lucky buggers. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif


John D.,
Thanks for the sympathy. Likewise my heart goes out to you, with your two daughters. Daughters would prematurely age me! I would worry about them every day of their lives. Especially when those little flee ridden vermin known as boys started taking notice of them. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/mad.gif Being in a fraturnity for 3 years did not help my outlook in this respect.


Wah,
You're a kind Lich! You're right those batting eyelashes are a devastating weapon. Why do I get the feeling that Moni and Cloudbringer are wielders of this weapon of utter destruction? Hey!! I just got an idea for the Dwarven Throwers tread!

LOA,
You're too kind. But I have a Senco framing nailer, a compressor (although it is a little under powered), and two 24oz. Vaughns. I framed during my college years. I assume your a framer. Yes? FYI, frequently I envy guys like you who are out building something tangible. I would be interested in hearing any construction stories you may have.



[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).]

onthepequod,
you are a really sweet man!

BTW, my weapon of destruction is my pout lol! Rex can testify!
Of course, a pout combined with batting eyelashes is the ultimate weapon!

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
Moni

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[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-09-2001).]

My my my...Hi onthepequod! *bat bat of lashes over hazel eyes*.

Moni, I think we've been insulted, ...or complimented?! LOL....

CloudFlirt

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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever

OH YES!!!! THE <H3><font color="pink">POUT!</font></H3> Add the lashes and total devesation! hehehe ER Moni? Should we be giving away trade secrets? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
TEEHEE

Cloudy


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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 05-09-2001).]