I am a paladen and i told nali i could not help her yet and she went off and got killed. later i finished the keep and got the flail does this mean i wont get a stonghold?

You wont get nalias thats for sure
Spoiler
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But you wouldnt of anyway cause your a paladin, all you get is a measly room in the radiant heart building in the temple district.

yes unfortunatly the paladin strong hold is not the greatest one in the game

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You won't get Nalias stronghold,you'll get the paladin stronghold,since you're a paladin.

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http://angelfire.com/rpg/castletainly/gifs/lich.gif

Don't mess with the Lich

SPOILER:
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Nalia's keep is only for fighters, monks, and barbarians.

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Long live H22A1!!!!!

do you get any decent quests from the paladin stronghold?

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RULE #1:I am always right
RULE #2:See rule #1

No, but there is a tricky one. It took me 3 tries to complete that one.