Where is anomens families estate in the governmment district?? I cant seem to find it

The Delryn Estate, as per his last name is marked on the map. Next to the Derril Estate south of Government Park.

Yep, the estate is marked on the map.
Anyway... Anomen's dad is gonna ask you to smoke the dude who did in his sister -- don't do it! well, don't do it if you plan on keeping Anomen in your group (hoping that he'll become a good fighter). Because he won't get accepted into the order or Raidant Heart (which in itself is irrelevent if you ask me) and Anomen won't become the fighter than he could have otherwise. That's what I have found anyway.

If you just want to use him as a Cleric though, go right ahead.

Good idea to use *spoiler* with that sort of information Mordigan.