Ironworks Gaming Forum - Time for another Jan moment.

That's right, I couldn't resist.

Jan: Nalia, dearie, you remind me so much of Cletus Bifflelips, my second cousin, thrice removed.

Nalia: I don't think that I could be very much like a person named Cletus.

Jan: You wouldn't think so, yet here we are. You see, Cletus had a propensity for bouts of violent projectile vomiting. We'd call him Cletus the Room Clearer Bifflelips.

Nalia: Please, Jan! This is too ridiculous, even for you!

Jan: Now just bear with me for a moment, Nali. You see, it was after one such bout that Cletus, feeling quite ill, took a painful stroll down to the local witch-woman, in the vague hope that she might have a cure for his problem.

Jan: After paying the 1000 gold piece consulting fee and vomiting in the proffered bucket, the witch gave Cletus an herbal tea, which he was to drink twice per day for a score of days.

Jan: Drinking it everyday on schedule, yet failing to notice any change in his condition, Cletus began to worry. Upon finishing his final cup of tea Cletus vomited.

Nalia: This is disgusting, Jan.

Jan: No need to force your ridiculously high standards onto poor, deceased Cletus.

Nalia: I'm sorry. His illness killed him, did it?

Jan: Actually, he's not dead. I made that part up. Well, needless to say, Cletus was somewhat angry so he went back to confront the witch. She had, of course, taken the money and left town. But in her haste to escape the vomiting wrath of Cletus Bifflelips, the witch left her belongings behind.

Jan: Cletus, at the height of his anger, swiped her entire collection of novels written by noted folklorist, Nalia de Bouche. I'll be the first to admit that revenge was not Cletus' forte.

Nalia: Honestly, Jan, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Jan: Well, they can't all be gems. It's one of my favorites, though.

Tomorrow, see Jan tell the tale of Ano the Lobotomized Orc. Or Golodon the Unmanned. Or Angus the Giant Beaver. We'll just have to see, won't we?