How do I use the items to appease the warders of durlogs tower? I.E. gong head and handle, machine switch and grapes?

All you really have to do is go up and talk to them... if that does not work then you did something wrong... like did not hit the gong etc. In most cases the switches or gongs in the game are usable and you can tell by a symbol that looks like a recycle symbol appears when you run your mouse curser over it. Then after you used the gong got the wine etc. then you go talk to the four wards which will then talk to you and so on. Have fun :)

Use the gong head and handle on the anvil in the NW room - rhs of the stairs when you come in - which fixes it. Then use it on the gong in the room on the right at the end of the long corridor past the small bedroom on the western (top) side of the main room.

The grapes have to be pressed and turned into wine, so get the handle for the steam engine out of the drawer in the bottom bedroom which has to be opened with the special key - which is in the treasure pile guarded by the skeletons. Once the engine is on you can use the press which is on the eastern (bottom right) side of the main room.

Don't forget the gem & sword though for the other two warders.