my boyfriend and i are trying to play with tcp/ip and it says we are using different versions and we downloaded from the same disc but use different discs to play is that the problem??? Please help

Your games have to be completely identical, including patches and expansions. If one of you has HOW installed or TOL installed and the other doesn't, then you won't be able to connect. Same is true for the patches. You both must have identical patches installed.

In addition, I believe that the AI pathfinding nodes must be identical on both machines and possibly the cache and the frame rate.

Its also possible that the game recognizes that the cds are coming from the same package and is not letting you connect (copy protection issues), but my guess is that the expansion/patch installation is the real issue. You should be able to buy a copy of IWD fairly cheaply now, so if the copy protection issue biting you, why not just break down and buy a second copy of the game?