I've created my own, original list of some scrolls you'll never be finding in any BG game..feel free to add your own if you want.

Power Word: Nil (Power word: kill)
Melf's Minute Maid Orange Juice (Melf's Minute Meateors)
Detect Allusions (for the clueless among us)
Pyrotechnical Difficulties
Tenser's Transformer Action Figures
Symbol: Prince (as in the music artist)
Leomund's Gerbil Cage
Part Hair
Dimension Floor (opens a hole in the ground below you)
Bassmorph (polymorph fish)
Lyre Charm
Hallucinatory Air
Shades, Version II (creates fashionable sunglasses; material component is 400 gp)
Animal-like Cancerous Growth
Passdoor (creates a passage through any doorway)
Transparent Fog
Disenchanted Weapon (it *knows* it will only be around for a day, and it sees no point in fighting before its inevitable disappearance)

Absolute Impunity (doesn't protect against anything, but the mage will arrogantly think he's untouchable)
Hold Dead
Middle Finger Of Death
Mordenkainen's Toothbrush
Wail Of The Banshee (OpenGL spell effects overload your graphics card)
Cause Critical Thinking
Shocking Gasp
Tensor's Transformation (does matrix algebra mid-battle)
Mickey Mantle (Micky Mouse [img]tongue.gif[/img] )
Detect Visibility
Improved Taste (yum..)
Stone To Stone (duhh...)
Protection From Neutral (Why not...theres everything else)
Protection From Freakish Missiles (For those time you get them :D )
Farsighted (-4 penalty to caster's AC and THAC0 for nearby enemies)
Windshield-Blue (all who damage the caster must pay his deductible)
Ice Cream Cone Of Cold
Cacaofiend (gates a Planescape:Torment Chocolate Quasit)

hahahah.....uhhh...ok???

I was bored...so sue me [img]tongue.gif[/img]

They are actually very funny! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

LOL!

Nahal's Reckless Driving School
Knock, Knock
Invulnerable Absolute Immunity from Magically Mantled Elemental Shield Armor(for the true paranoids among us)
Chef Otiluke's Resilient Mystery Meat
Hold Person's Call
Really Secret Word (nobody knows this spell)
Wizard Nose
Find Family
Glyph of Illegibility
Spell Thrust (displays the letters T-H-R-U-S-T above caster's head)
Remove Shirt
Imprisonment with Parole for Good Behavior
Chaste
Improved Chaste
Command Word: Whine
Chess Champion's Strength
Summon Pygmy Marmoset
Know Gender
Rigid Thinking (innate ability for all Republicans)
Emotion: Ennui
Zone of Sweet Lemon-scented Laundry Detergent
Bigby's Groping Hand
Saul's Searing Migraine
Phantom Blade, new from Gillette
Free Action, except for the restraining order
Raise Head
Repulse Living
Black Blade of Inconvenience
Dental Domination
Terrestrial Servant
Power Word: Blind Date

[ADD:] How could I forget Boo's favorite spell, Shield of the Acorns?

[ 10-07-2003, 09:08 PM: Message edited by: SixOfSpades ]

Heheh.. very funny sixofspades

Some more..

Wail of the In-laws
Garden Maze
Time, to go
Shapechange: Three-toed-sloth
Power Word: Holiday
Bigby's Talk-to-the-hand
Repulse Girls
Finger of cheese
Nahal's dont-pass-go-dont-collect-£200

[Edit] Some of these spells would be realy funny if you converted them into the game...

[ 10-07-2003, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Daniel_M ]

My mage wrote a bigby's hand spell. It causes the target's eyes to roll back in its head and a loss of consciousness. Duration is 1 round against males, 2d4 rounds against females. Protection from normal weapons and stoneskin foil the spell. I'd post more here, but it's a little racey. The spell is called Bigby's M****b****g Hand. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Create Drink -- makes pina couatls.
Intoxicate Self
Luck of the Irish -- can only be cast after Intoxicate Self. Gain a +5 on everything you do for 8 hours, but lose 200 gp.
Malfeasor's Kegstand
Slip -- like grease, but affects only the caster. Great for bards.
Abi Dalzim's Horribly Long and Annoying Spell Naming
Bigby's Handshake
Know Measurements -- different information obtained depending on gender of target.
Freedom from Care
Lose Annoying Familiar
Greater Find Familiar
Super Duper You Will Actually Like This Familiar Find Familiar

[ 10-07-2003, 05:52 PM: Message edited by: Timber Loftis ]

Those were some nice ones, Six ;)
...Know Gender, lol, that's a tough one to figure out on your own with out a spell [img]tongue.gif[/img]

My favourite spell: Locate self - locate yourself relative to your position

Hold self
Create Water Above Head (for aquatic elves)
Black Light (enchants object with black light)
Dominate Self
Mordenkainen's Poor Shelter
Improper Suggestion

(actually, I got some of these from a friend of mine, I believe he found some site)

<font color=lightgreen>

LoL! OMG, thats just great! :D

Six: yours where great as well!! :D

Just watched Fear&Loathing in Las Vegas, sooooo :

Smokeskin
Water Pipe of Disaster
Symbol: Stoned
Mass Intoxication
Prismatic Trip
Khelben's Spacing Trip
Greater Intoxication
Obscured Sight
Protection from UFO's
Misguided
Snorkel
Immunity: Articulation
Cone of Gold
Mouse Trap
Annoy Person
Flame Sparrow
Stinking Methane Cloud
</font>