Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Hey all you IW's out there. I have something i'd like to share with you guys, let me know what you think about it alright, feel free to leave any type of comment you please, as long as its in relation to what im about to show you.

These are the lyrics to a rap by my group, G4. Its not exactly explicit,but i had some major editing to do before it was ready to show. The Chorus and Hook were written by Triple L. the verses are labled.



HOOK: X2
Cuz its time to get blown
im ready to fly
standin on my toes
trying not to die

CHOURS: X2
Cuz im high on the town
(smoke all around)

VERSE1: (Triple L)
I had to get stoned
im almost blown
sittin in this jeep hitting this yo
its the 94 cherrokee
hurry it up and pass it to me
I need that stuff in my system
man u in the back why u trippen?
man cuz i pimp dem hos
and i wear them cloths
you can look me in the face and see that it shows
im the car and i ride
24s on the side
i got that 45
right next to me
its so easy to see
im the recipe
for drugs and money
and that glows
in the back of the jeep with the cherry below
the bowl is getting low
so pass me the b***t
it aint no runt
oh no the cops...... hurry
tying to drive away but my vision is blurry
oh no never mind its just a white car
so spark that thing up......Damn its so large

HOOK: X2

VERSE 2: (Brit)
sittin next to luke in the jeep
u know we get good dr**s dirt cheap
smoking on this b***t
b****es always acting like a c**t
got this shiz real nice and easy
sorta like eazy peazy
running from the cops but im to high
18 months i gotta say bye
oh man that was just a dream
now when i write this shiz im not mean
Tripple L man we need to hang
show them fake b****es how to bang
but for now just give me the green
u know what i need
some of the good cronic
almost like hypnotic
be stuck in the same spot for hours
well buy a pound and call it ours
but for now i have to roll
ok man one more bowl


HOOK: X2

VERSE 3: (Condor a.k.a DrowArchmage)
Drugs aint cheap in the street
when you hear our horn beep you better check for leaks.
Cuz we shoot you up when you try to jack our shiz,
better beleive it wit Triple L and Brit b****.
Triple L macks on the ladies givin em shiz to smile about,
Brit just f's a who and leaves takin the quick route.
Im Condor and everyone know how i do,
F a who smack a who never got a boo.
In the presence of my bois im a laid back guy,
but all the girls know me as the guy that'll make em cry.
G4 smokin weed gettin ass sellin grass,
just hit the F-in floor when you hear the sound of breakin glass.

HOOK: X2

VERSE 4: (DJ Squared)
I'm the one in the driver seat/
So i'm the one who's gotta take the heat/
If we get pulled over gettin high in the jeep/
Close your mouth don't speak/
That blunt aint a microphone/
And I ain't gonna act like i don't know/
What it feels like to be blown/
Cuz I've smoked more green than should be known/
I'ma pot head, and you know you can't stop it/
Make me pull the piece and you know i will cock it/
Make it blast like a rocket, and once i kill you, I pull the lighter out my pocket/
Like up that bowl again/
Cuz someone with green is someone who's a freind/

CHOURS:X2



What'd you think?

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

ok, if you guys dont like it, at least tell me why.

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Personally, rap isn't really my cup of tea and my knowledge of it extends to Kanye West (If you can class that as rap?) or old-school (to me) hip hop like Public Enemy, so I can't really comment. I'm not a fan of the whole "drugs, guns, ho's and bling", but it's a matter of personal preference I guess.

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Well...

For one, you're better off posting this somewhere like rapbattles.com, not the family forum of IW :P

Secondly, if not rapbattles, you should've just sent this to Vaskez, cause I know he's gonna trip over this thread eventually.

Lastly, if you'd like a critique, here's one.

It's not bad, however, it isn't great either. Work on the lines a bit and try to form more intricate rhymes, because some of them are fairly basic. Plus the flow of verses 3 and 4 could use some work.

My only real deal with the piece is that it's been said and done before DA. Nothing against your style or use of language or anything, but the drugs/cars/ho's aspect of rap has been so overdone, it really doesn't do much for me.

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Not my scene man. Vaskez is the rap guru around here as Gangrell says. I left that shit behind years ago with NWA.

One thing is though, if you grab your crotch while dis'n ho's around me I will have to punch you back into the human race. ;)

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Seems to be a collection of run of the mill, trite, garden-variety drug and misogyny references with a distinct lack of form, poetry, and credibility.

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Lol. ok, here's one thats a little different.


CONDOR:
This's straight from the mind of a corrupted saint,
i've been round the block and tasted much evil taint.
I was cursed at birth to run the life of a player,
so ima build a player town and be self-appionted mayor
As the mayor of the players i'd make a player paper,
to dis on the the b****es and self appointed haters.
So Luke,Len,Dave,my bois come kick these f-ers over like Tonka Toys,
cause i know you'd do it i saw what you did to Troy,
After you do it they'd no longer be your boi,
but i said F them and that they cant ignore,
i just wanna find the girl of my dreams before,
i get so lost in my dementia space that my mind gets torn,
sometimes i just wanna drop my F-in pencil and pick up a sword,
sooner or later ya gonna learn that this rose has thorns,
these thornes have F-ed up many before,
so please bring it on the sound of peace is makin my ears sore.

DAVEY J:
These mother F'ers wanna come at me
like they got somethin back at me
But he that thinks he does will get a suprise cuz
i aint callin the F-in fuzz just ask my buds
I choke out my own boy
Len'll grab'em by the shirt and throw'em like a toy
Im crazy just maybe enough to make you think i bluff
But i wont just cuz im that tough
im just that F-ed up
i make the same mistake twice
i aint appologize i aint that nice
hit you square in the face....F-in Bryce
im comin with fists you comin with knives
you playin a game im livin the life
you F-in my girl well im killin your wife
Obie-Trice told me this what lifes about
i drive slow homie im just coastin now
you think of a come back weeks before an argument
im off the top of my head just startin shit
throw it in park then bitch
you drivin off smilin like you the shit
i'll park in front your house hittin you like a bitch
shit, you aint even worth my time thats it.


ok so its not that diiferent, but the rhymes are still good right?

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

"Life Is Tragic "

S'all there is to it.


But seriously, Raps not my forte either. So meh.

But I don't think the cuss words, slangs, and the unusual rythmn help the ..song?

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Is this an accurate portrayal of walking the mean streets of... Michigan?

Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.
 

Smile when you say that, missy... we *feast* on people from New York here ;)

Detroit... where the weak are killed and eaten... :hehe: