WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Women
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no kown reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

Not to be disclosed without prior notification.

Do one for men too, or else I'll thump ya :D
ROFL, that's BAD, Arvon...

Arvon, when are you going to write your own words instead of posting someone elses? Time and again I'm disappointed by a great title only to find plagiarism or regurgitations of anothers thoughts posted under your name.

Write from your heart and mind mate, not just your inbox.

Hugh, mate, I'd give you a cigar if I could find one.

[ 02-08-2003, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: Arledrian ]

Chill man, we can't all reinvent the wheel and it would also be pointless. Why shouldn't he share stuff he gets in email?

LOL nice one Arvon. :D

Interestingly I don't get and repost the email stuff. I just wander around the net and find these things. I know very few are new or original. I just share the ones that are clean enough to post here.

WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

They smell good, they look good and by golly they taste good. That's my chemical analysis anyway. [img]smile.gif[/img]

hhmmm......no comment. I think you should find one for men.

pretty good one arvon

If I run across one I'll post it ...never fear.