Humor, June 2011
 

Seen on a Twitter feed...

"Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it binds the galaxy together."

Re: Humor, June 2011
 

Now that summer's approaching, time for some handy camping tips:

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When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.

Re: Humor, June 2011
 

10 drugs not to do while driving...

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81557592/

Video is cube-safe... some of the adverts may not be, so be forewarned.

Re: Humor, June 2011
 

Too true stuff:
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/...nting-fail.jpg
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http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress...pg?w=300&h=300
/sigh
Dumb Shit Bitch. (Bitch is too kind, it implies intelligence. This chick is too ■■■■■■■ stupid for words.)

Re: Humor, June 2011
 

I think it's the best solo 8-piece version of Killer Queen I've ever heard...

Re: Humor, June 2011
 

Yeah, when you get to the point that even Chris Wallace is rolling his eyes and laughing at your explanation, things are bad for you. And good on him for asking her straight out if she realises she screwed up. I think he is the only one at Fox who dares to go against their agenda from time to time (even that is infrequent, maybe every few months when he evidently tires of spewing the same rhetoric as his colleagues).

I also love that now any question she messes up on is a "gotcha" question. Epic line at the end where to summarize, she says "I know my American history" as if saying that makes what she said true. If she had just said "Yeah, I was tired that day, I got confused" at least we could give her the benefit of the doubt. Instead, she defends her false assertions while attempting to rewrite history. What a silly goose.