Moridin:

If I'm remembering wrong tell me, but didn't you post on the old baord about your marriage difficulty? I thought I remembered that it was you. I had been wondering if things were any better. I'm so glad to hear that it's starting to work out. One thing I have learned--marriage is very hard work. Best wishes on things continuing to go better.

------------------
Reeka--The Hand of Death
http://www.mordor.ch/user/blaufalke/animgif/human56.gif

Reeka--

Yes, that was me (or is me http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif)
Things are starting to get a little better. We have started to see a couples therapist. Only one session so far, but even after one session the 'problems' start to show themselves. It is going to take time, but I am willing to wait!
It is a little difficult for me, b/c she came to me with the idea that we start counceling together and then in the first session she admitted that, these are her words when asked if she is committed to working on our marriage "I don't know. I don't want to commit to anything until I know for sure"
WHAT???? How is this going to work if she is not willing to commit? Isn't that the point of seeing a therapist...that we are committed to figuring out what went wrong and how (or if) we can repair them?
Sorry, I am ranting again.
Thank you for thinking of me Reeka, it means alot http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/FRblush.gif

------------------
http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Hey Moridin: rant away http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...miles/wink.gif

Reading about that therapy visit had me banging my head on a wall...been there, done that http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...les/tongue.gif

Good luck to you http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

Moridin:

I am so glad to hear that you're in couples therapy. I think it really can help to have an objective person listening and observing. Probably the hardest part will be being patient--Rome wasn't built in one therapy session. I'm sure it is disheartening for your wife to say that she isn't sure if she wants to committ or not, but her willing to go for therapy is a good sign. All marriages go through rough spots--some rought than others. I personally don't know of anyone who hasn't thought about divorce at some point (if they have been married long enough). I can truly say that the rough times my husband and I have been through have only, in the long run, made us more committed.

If you don't mind, I wish you would keep me posted on how things are progressing (I don't mean to seem nosy). I'm pulling for you and I really care.

------------------
Reeka--The Hand of Death
http://www.mordor.ch/user/blaufalke/animgif/human56.gif

We all care Moridin. And perhaps some of us can learn from your experience?

Good luck and many good wishes for a satisfactory outcome.

------------------
http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/redcelticdragon2.gif
Having abandoned my search for truth, I am now looking for a good Fantasy.

Thank you everyone! I am going skiing for the weekend (yes, with my wife!) so I will keep you posted on Sunday or Monday. Take care and have a good weekend http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

------------------
http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Have a wonderful time! And don't break a leg!

------------------
Reeka--The Hand of Death
http://www.mordor.ch/user/blaufalke/animgif/human56.gif

Now for the weekend update (Is Chevy Chase out there?)

The weekend went well for my wife and I. We caught an Omnimax movie, some good shopping, a nice Italian dinner and a full day of skiing (Bilqis--we went to Spirit Mountain by Duluth). For the most part we got along and things seemed to go well, but if a conversation lasted for more than an hour at a time we found ourselves starting to stray to the topic of "us". We have found that whenever we try to talk about "us" we usually either make each other mad or make each other cry so when the topic comes up we have learned to stop it there. We have decided that we just need to enjoy each other's company and have fun together....the really serious stuff has to wait until therapy http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif
My one sticking point right now is that she is going on Spring Break (she's in Grad school) with 6 other people and one of these people is "that guy". She tells me time and again (and even told our therapist) that there are no more feelings there, but it gnaws on me that she will be away for an entire week and really anything could happen. Do you think I am being paranoid and I should just trust her or am I sane to have these thoughts of mistrust????? I guess this is why I chose the same time she is away, to go to London. Then my thoughts will be on enjoying London and not on what she is doing on Spring break.
Hope you all had a good weekend http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif


------------------
http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Moridin:
I glad the weekend went well. I don't think that you are paranoid. In my opinion trust is something that is earned over a period of time. She violated that trust and it has got to have time to rebuild. Try to be parient and keep going to therapy. I don't know if you've been before or not, but you're going to love London!

------------------
Reeka--The Hand of Death
http://www.mordor.ch/user/blaufalke/animgif/human56.gif

Glad you had a good weekend, Moridin http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

About your wife hanging out with "that guy" on spring break, ugh http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/frown.gif Tough call.

When I first found out about my ex's mistress, I completely forbid my husband to contact her at all for any reason. In fact, we were supposed to help her move out of *her* husband's home just a few days after I found out that my husband was one of the reasons she was so eager to dump her husband. Obviously we didn't help her move after that.

I'm not so sure that restricting my husband's interaction with this woman was a great idea on my part, in hindsight. First off, they still saw each other at work every day (so did I, since the slut was my boss - I worked there part-time). After his mistress managed to get me laid off from my job, I no longer had "supervision" of my husband during work hours.

It seemed that my restricting contact between the two seemed to intensify their relationship - as if the "forbidden fruit" was much sweeter than before http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/frown.gif

So - putting the locks down on your wife might not be the best idea.

However, I'm a bit dissapointed on your behalf that she would even consider traveling anywhere (even in a group) with that guy. I would hope that she would refuse to do that, out of respect for your feelings, and as a gesture towards you that she is working to be again worthy of your trust.

What does your therapist have to say about this little trip of hers? Did the therapist offer any advice as to whether she should go or not?