3 cows are playing poker when an egg walked towards them
"Do you wanna Join" the cows ask
"No thanks i have to go cut my hair"

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It's green and it hops
What is it?

A frog.

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two germans visit London and at a bar they ask the barkeeper
"Two Sherry please"
"Dry?" the barkeeper replies
"Nein Zwei"

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I just bought a new bommerang
It took me three weeks to throw away the old one....

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It's Big It's Green and it eats rock what is it?

The big green rockeater

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What's a fly without wings?

A walk

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Damn these jokes are pretty stupid
Ah well maybe i'll provide you with more if anyone is interrested

You're joking about this being humour...err, right? I mean I wouldn't classify them as humour.

Whats brown and sticky?

A Stick

What do you call a bear without a paw?

Rupert the Bastard

What do you call a blind deer?

No idea

What do you call fish without eyes?

Fsh


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Regards

http://homepages.compuserve.de/ComtessaM/img/anr.gif

Mouse

What's the diffrence between a red wall and a yellow wall?

They are both red except for je yellow one....

I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK

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http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif
The Githyanki Necromancer/Assassin - New and Improved

When you turn around may you get yam
if you turn around shit you get?

Dirty hands

0-----0

What's wrong with a red firetruck?

Nothing!

0-----0

Trouble and Asshole are playing hide and seek
Asshole is hiding when he meets an officer
The officer asks Asshole for his name
"Asshole" he replies
"Are you looking for trouble?" the officer asks
"no Trouble is looking for me"

0-----0

Why did they bury the fireman BEHIND the hill??

coz he was dead

0-----0

It's gray but you can look through it what is it?

A Elephant in a plastic bag

0-----0

Microsoft stopped making airbags

the customers didn't the fatal errors

0-----0

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return to the owner?

A stick

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http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif
The Githyanki Necromancer/Assassin - New and Improved

Whats white and comes in pints?

Milk

Whats gray and comes in pints?

An elephant

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Regards

http://homepages.compuserve.de/ComtessaM/img/anr.gif

Mouse

Well, if you're gonna be like that. Fine. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif I got a proper joke.

A policeman stops a driver who is speeding at 200kph on the freeway.
"What's the hurry, mate?" , says the policeman
"Oh it's terrible officer!" exclaims the driver, " I've got my mother-in-law's corpse in the boot and I've still got the gun that I shot her with in the glove compartment! It's still loaded! I haven't even had time to throw it away!"
The shocked officer hastily pulls out his pistol and aims it at the driver. He then calls for back-up on the radio. The back-up arrives.
"What's the big crises, officer?" asks the sergeant.
" Quick! This man shot his mother-in-law and has her body in the boot and he's got a loaded gun in his glove compartment!"
The car is searched but there's no body, no gun and not even a single thing out of the ordinary. Suddenly the driver exclaims: "Oh great! I suppose now you're gonna convince them that I was speeding or something as well!"

Yeeehar - made Dungeon Master via a really crappy joke! There is a God http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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Regards

http://homepages.compuserve.de/ComtessaM/img/anr.gif

Mouse

Nice one Vas
Shall I try to tell a proper one aswell???

hm Alright

A professer is teaching his class about how to examen the dead

"two thing's are vital when you are doing this
First of all you should be discusted by anything"
To proof his case he sticks his vinger the anus of the dead and licks his vinger
"Now I want all of you to do the same"
Coz the students don't wanna fail they all do it
"alright the second vital thing is that you pay attention to detail
Now howmany of you have notest I put in my Vinger and licked my thumb?"

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http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif
The Githyanki Necromancer/Assassin - New and Improved

A group of Monks, each of which has taken a vow of silence. On Xmas day each year the silence can be broken by only one monk in order to voice prayers.

Xmas day arrives, the monks take their places in the Grand hall, one monk, brother Rikard, blurts out.... "I love Xmas".

Silence reins for another year.

Xmas day arrives again, the monks take their places in the Grand hall, one monk, brother Tobbin, blurts out...."Love Xmas do you brother Rikard...Well personally I hate Xmas".

Silence reins for another year.

Xmas day arrives, the monks take their places in the Grand hall, one monk, brother Rikard, blurts out.... "I know you hate Xmas brother Tobbin, but I really love it, it's the best day of the year".

Silence reins for another year.

Xmas day arrives again, the monks take their places in the Grand hall, one monk, brother Tobbin, blurts out...."No it's not".

Silence reins for another year.

Xmas day arrives again, the monks take their places in the Grand hall, one monk, brother Yorick, stands up and says...."I'm leaving, I can't stand this constant bickering".


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One love, peace.