Have you ever started writing a story, and let it take you to it's end? Let the story lead you? If you have, you know that sometimes the story finishes in a way that you didn't expect.

I finished the first chapter last week, and now have a pretty clear idea of the next few chapters, and even a clear understanding to where this whole thing can lead.

I haven't posted it because it didn't turn out pretty. I need at least another day to edit it, but the story as a whole turned into something that, while I am proud of it, I don't know how it will be received.

When I played Perin in PnP games, I always knew his backgroud, vaguely. He was a ranger, who was traumatized in his earlier life. A soldier who hates war, but fights because he knows that there must be an end to the tyranny. Jaded, bitter. He knows that fighting can break men, and whole groups of people. He knows that because he saw his own innocence stripped away, and watched other people become monsters.

I knew a man, once, who told me of his experiences in Viet-Nahm. They weren't the type of stories you heard about in the news, or watched on TV. They were the stories that people denied later.

When I finished the chapter, Perin is 17, and was no longer the innocent elf you liked. I'm not sure I like him anymore, but I know I respect him. I trust him. I know where he is heading.

Frank Norris, the many-times banned author said: "I don't fear; I don't apologize because in my heart that I never lied; I never truckled. I told the truth."

I found the truth in the story. I tried to re-write it this last week, but that would be wrong. It would be a lie, to Perin, and myself.

The only question is: Do you still want to read it? Should I post it, or keep it for my own site? (yes, I've finally decided to re-open the DawgPound) Either way, I won't be upset... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif If I DO post it here, it will be an edited version in the descripted violence, but the situations will still be the same, and may be disturbing.

Serious replies only, please.
Thanks...

The WriterDawg http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/cwm/3dlil/read.gif


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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/rd.gif

It is only my suggestion, but if you need to edit your work to post it here, then you are making a compromise. IMHO, if you believe in the integrity of your work, then let us see it as you would want it to be seen. If that means posting it to your site and giving us the link, so be it.

Just my opinion http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/coollook.gif




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Regards

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/anr.gif

Mouse

Thanks Mouse,

I'm talking about editing some of the more "detailed" descriptions. Making it a "PG-13" story instead of "R". The situations won't change, just leaving out some details...

Not that the details are spurious. I feel that they ARE important to the story. They aren't there for the "shock" value. Without knowing what Perin went through, it may not be possible to understand, or forgive him...

It's kinda why I'm torn...

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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/rd.gif

Yes, give us the unleaded version. I would rather see how it was originaly written then a politically correct version. I think everyone here can deal with it. Just put a warning in the thread.

Seriously though, please post it. I am looking forward to reading it.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...amber5copy.jpg

I know it's an old cliche, but the Devil IS in the detail. I realise you face a dilemma - why not edit your work for this forum and give us the "proper" version on your site. It's not ideal, but it may work as a compromise.



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Regards

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/anr.gif

Mouse

That's what I'm leaning towards, unless I get a consensus here. I'd love to keep the invaluable insight of this group! I got a lot of encouragement, and some good advice. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif I'd just hate to offend my friends...


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[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 06-02-2001).]

make 2 threads. One rated PG-13 and one rated R. That way the more sensitive people can view a story they will find less offensive, and those who want all the details can have them as well.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...amber5copy.jpg

Give it us whole, RudeDawg, but put a warning maybe? in the post subject. Or, better yet, make the subject header really boring to keep very young members out. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif

http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif

Fljotsdale, you remember the more unpleasant parts of "Bio of a Space Tyrant" ? The violence? That's the kind of thing. (Not the sex, though) Too harsh?


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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/rd.gif

None of your friends would be offended by seeing an edited version here. As has been stated before, this forum attracts people from a wide variety of age-groups. To have the consideration to tailor postings so they conform to an accepted standard is something this community accepts.





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Regards

http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/anr.gif

Mouse