Hehe, I read this somewhere that these things were actually said in courts of law during proper trials in Massachusetts, USA (dunno how true this is http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ):

Lawyer: could u describe briefly what happened?
Witness: well the first car reversed out of the driveway and straight into the side of the other car which was moving slowly down the road.
Lawyer: and how far apart were the cars at the time of the collision?
________

Lawyer: so the date of conception of your baby was august the 12th?
defendant: yes
Lawyer: and what were you doing at this time?
________

Lawyer: so he had 3 children you say?
witness: yes
Lawyer: How many were boys?
witness: none
Lawyer: were there any girls?
________

Lawyer: was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
________

Lawyer: you were there until the time you left, is this true?
________

Lawyer: were you present when your picture was taken?
________


Hmm, wonder what our american brethren have to say? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

Is This Humor
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/gmorning.gif
I don't see it

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http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif
The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

Well speaking as an American we have one hell of a lot of idiots! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

Just look at your president
(excuses for anyone who didn't want to vote for Gore)

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http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif
The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

location: Russian submarine

Misa to Captain: Captain Sir! An enemy vessel is approcahing!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get a bottle of vodka and my red shirt.
Misa doesn't understand why, but does as ordered and the russians win. Next day:
Misa: Captain Sir, 3 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get 3 bottles of vodka and my red shirt.
Again Misa doesn't understand but does as ordered.
The russians win again. Misa can't take it any longer and asks what the vodak and red shirt are for.
Captain: The vodka gives me courage and the red shirt is needed so that the men can't see when I get injured.
Next day.
Misa: Captain Sir! 7 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just bring me 7 bottles of vodka and my brown trousers.

Well speaking of dumb american politicians, in Hungary (where I was born), half the jokes u find are about cops cos the cops there are so dumb in general. Quite a few good ones but bear in mind I am translating these so the wording may not be perfect.....

Hysterical giggles!

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Smile! Life is too short for bitching! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif

Fljotsdale

Cop's walking on the beach with his son..
- Hey dad look, a dead seagull!
Cop looks up at the sky.
- Where?

Two cops are walking along the pavement and they see a policeman's truncheon lying on the ground:

- Hey! Isn't that Tom's?
- It couldn't be you idiot! He's lost his!


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What do 2 cops argue over when getting into the car?
Which one gets to sit next to the window

Cop buys a railway ticket.
- Return please.
- Where to?
- Well what do you think? Back here of course!