EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


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Here's looking at you, kid!


Excerpts From a Cat's Daily Diary
« on: Today at 12:55:17 PM »

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EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 183 of My Captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

This thing must be making the "rounds" again. Still funny, though. :D

By the way...you missed the *best* part of the dog's diary...

If you number the first excerpt up there for the dog as: Day 180, then...

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

That always makes me LMAO. :D

That is a funny addition. Too bad there's not more to the cat one.

But there is....i've seen it a couple more times quite a while ago now. The dog's diary lasted for a week, and so did the cat's. He has been plotting the whole week. :D

Good luck finding it though.

johnny, hon: I did some research today and discovered that the "latest version" of the cat diary, they took out the other dates and made it look like all one day. From what I've found googling, each paragraph of the cat diary above is a separate day.

I'm still looking, though, to see if there were more days or something... ;)

Man, those are soooooo true... my grandma's cats fit that description perfectly. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

That is sooooo a cat thing, except my cat she ain't too bright....unless.....maybe thats what she WANTS me to think! *gasp*

I just glanced over to the stairs and my brother's psychotic feline Fiji was just staring at me, he quickly looked down to "smell something", but I am now aware of his fiendish schemes!

[ 12-27-2004, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: spydar ]

My brother in law found a kitten under a car half frozen today. We had a blizzard here (about 40-50 cm). We don't know how the kitten got out, but she seems to be doing ok. We hope there's no frost bite.

Only seams applicable to house cats they never get let out..

I mean I've got two cats and they always come back..


Agent 31124 (aka "socks) reporting, Report #1028

Targetted household appear unaware of my duplcity, and they offer me food whenever I ask, I have attempted to use this to my advantage by gorging and the regurgitating out of sight then ordering them to give me more food but still they seam to be able to survive the added expense, I shall have to redouble my efforts




Report #1033

I have managed to convince the youngest of this households little to allow me to climb it's back to it's shoulders, request supply dept. send addtional treatments so I can take full advantage of this new devlopment


Report #1101

I fear I have been discovered, today the doors where locked and I was trapped inside untill the humans came, I was then picked up and placed inside a box, my attempts to resist where countered with a large holess net which was throw over me, I am currently being held in a large cell alongside many other agents, I write this report in the hopes of sending it upon my escape

[ 12-27-2004, 08:20 PM: Message edited by: Q'alooaith ]