This is a passionate subject that affects us all in many ways. The way we view collective response and our own singular response to events sometimes internally conflict. Hearing alternate opinions can raise spectre from the past in us as we seek to rationalise our own views of right and wrong on a singular and collective level.

My reaction against "who is to blame" is intensely personal because of my situation as both a child and a husband. It is important for me to maintain consistency between my worldview and my views on my personal circumstance - to avoid hypocrisy. When discussing broad issues like this, you're not just discussing an issue with me, but painful aspects of my marriage that nearly destroyed me.

Put simply it's not you, it's me. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif

I am passionately for or against your ideas, not you as a person Silver Cheetah. I hold you no ill will, and did not wish to see you remove yourself from the war forum.

That said, distance can do wonders for perception.

Anyhow, you have valid opinions which can further the benefit of the planet. Disagreement can provide refinement of those ideas. Through resistance we either grow stronger or change path.

I hope you have a good night, and that the forum becomes a place of idea sharing, companionship and relaxation rather than stress. God knows there's enough stress in our lives without a hobby being so as well.

Apologies for my fire. I accept yours as well.

Regards and good health

Hugh


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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 10-12-2001).]

I hope I havn't truly worsened your day with my responses. I'm a somewhat agressive conversationalist(If you havn't noticedhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif). I've been raised that way. I don't let stuff like barbs or jibes get to me and am quick to throw them when I feel "pricked". I guess I simply assumed others would be the same way. I'm trying to tone it down a bit.

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Member of ORT
Master Barbsman and weilder of the razor wit!
Official royal toad! Ribbit! Ribbet I say!

The true secret to happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have!

Apology accepted, Hugh! and thank you for your explanation. Although I often disagree with you, and sometimes find you a little 'harsh' in responding, I believe you to be a fine and sincere person. I am also aware that you are living through a difficult time both personally, and as a member of the collective, and I deeply sympathise.

I have a particular problem with your posts - as with you, this is due to past 'spectres'. Something in the way you put things sometimes brings up feelings from the past to do with my father, who is a violent and abusive man who brooks no contradiction. He must always be right. I find you neither violent or abusive in your posts, but sometimes there is an element which reminds me of painful incidents from the past. I have had very strong reactions to a number of your posts - I have felt dizzy, sick and wanting to lie down.

There is something very deep going on here to do with my own past trauma, and you are the quite unwitting and blameless cause of it. I'm not critising here, please do not think that!, I just wanted to share this with you, as being my true feeling on this matter.

After some thought, I have decided that, for the time being at least, I shall stay off the war forum, and stick with gen. con. I shall also spend time on some of my very neglected creative activities! Yes, I need rest and relaxation, creativity and fun!

NB. I agree totally about disagreement refining ideas. It's one of the elements I find very attractive about the forum.

Mandy.

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http://www.asnsoup.com/silvercheetahfinal.jpg

Most Ecstatic and Exotic Mistress of the Illuminati

Thanks for that, Sir K! Sweet of you, very......



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http://www.asnsoup.com/silvercheetahfinal.jpg

Most Ecstatic and Exotic Mistress of the Illuminati

http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/FRblush.gif Awww Shucks!

Mandy, a very brave post there. Thankyou for taking the time and effort to do so. It explains certain things that I shall be more mindful of in future.
Interesting that we have both known aggression from a receiving end and that this actually contributed to our disagreement. I am so sorry to hear of your situation and empathise.

I wonder if this has anything to do with your mothers reactions to me as well? Hmmmm http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif

Anyhow Mandy, I respect you for posting this. As I said, I shall be mindful of this new knowledge. You have a good night or day OK?

Cheers

Hugh http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

It was brave of both of you to share those insights into yourselves. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

Many of us carry baggage from our childhoods. We can strive to overcome it, and even succeed, but I don't think we can ever entirely become free of those formative forces. It continues to affect us, even if only in the form of being something we are constantly on guard against in ourselves.

I know who I am today is in some ways a reaction against my own father, who was domineering and tyrannical, often in arbitrary and mean ways. I think that explains much about my deeply ingrained distrust of authority.

I got nothing to share now... I feel like a piece of white paper lay bare on the desk, everyone can see whats on it... http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif

good luck everyone... for whatever things you do

Thanks 250, and here's wishing the same right back to you !!



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http://www.asnsoup.com/silvercheetahfinal.jpg

Most Ecstatic and Exotic Mistress of the Illuminati

WHAT reaction to you?! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/noncgi/smiles/mad.gif Hey? Hey?

LOL! Seriously, I'm very fond of you Yorick! But, yes, I DO overreact to the way you express yourself, sometimes - just as you do to me!

Yes, it is partly due to 17 years of physical and emotional abuse from my husband. I was living a breakdown that no-one was aware of for much of that time, not even medical practitioners, because I was a good actress. I spent all my time in 'public' being a 'nice, gentle person'. My children suffered from my hair-trigger frustrated anger though.
But it wasn't just my husband. My childhood had been pretty dreadful, too, in many ways, though I have some good memories. Suffice to say that I was mentally and sexually abused by my brother for for several years, as well as being attacked and abused by him and some of his friends when I was only about 8. My parents didn't believe me, so I never told about the later stuff. And I was always bully-fodder at school.
Enough of this! No-one bullies me now. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...sfiring_v1.gif
http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif The old bird is too tough, lol!

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http://www.angelfire.com/mi4/hclark50/flojs_14783.gif

Dubbed Queen of the Illuminati by Diogenes.

[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 10-14-2001).]