The Hierophant |
05-27-2004 09:32 AM |
Heya.
Being the shameless, vain, self-indulgent pretty-boy that I am I've taken to shaving my chest and stomach. Now, I'm not starting this thread in order to go to go into the connotations of masculinity (or lack thereof) involved in such a practice, rather, I need some advice on how to deal with the infuriating shaving rash that has plagued me since I started this shaving a few days ago.
Now, I've been shaving my face since I was a wee lad of 15, and over the past 7 years or so it has become relatively toughened and conditioned to the sensual stroke of a steel razorblade scraping and ripping at its outer layer of flesh in order to cut away the outer crust of filth, mange and glorified pubic hair that inevitably grows upon it like an insidious fungal colony. BUT, unfortunately for my poor, spoilt body, the tender shaving-virginal flesh of my chest and stomach, which has for so long gone untouched by the cold, cruel steel of the Gillette Mach 3, has not had this history of physical punishment to condition it against the rigours of such ritual torture. And, like the soft, precious little darlings that they are, my skin cells have started to scream out in high-pitched, whining and maddeningly itchy protest.
So, what do I do? Who can help a brutha out here? Is there any sort of balm I should be aware of? Ladies? You've got experience in this sort of field right? C'mon, I'm dyin' here. I could really use a helping, soothing, loving, tender hand.
Thanks
The Hierophant.
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