Ironworks Gaming Forum - And now, for the news....

Yes... these are true... and in the papers....

-------- Military Develops Indestructible Sandwich ---------

A new sandwich being developed by the U.S. military is tough
enough to be dropped out of an airplane and is designed to
last for up to three years, according to a New Scientist
report. The new "pocket" sandwich will stay fresh for three
years at normal temperatures, and for six months at around
100 degrees Fahrenheit. The sandwich could supplement the
military's standard fare, called "Meal Ready-to-Eat" (MRE).
The researchers at the U.S. Army Soldier Systems Center in
Natick, Mass., added substances called humectants to
pepperoni and chicken to prevent water from leaking out
of them and making the bread soggy. The pepperoni and
barbecue-chicken sandwiches were rated as "acceptable" by
soldiers, and pocket pizzas, cream-filled bagels, breakfast
burritos, and peanut-butter sandwiches are next on the menu.

-------------- Bad Blood In The Express Lane ---------------

A Lowell, Mass., woman faces up to 10 years in prison if con-
victed of shopping cart rage. Actually, the charges against
Karen Morgan, according to the syndicated column The Super-
market Shopper, are assault and battery with a dangerous
weapon (her shoe). It seems Morgan objected to Alice Tooks,
the shopper in line in front of her, trying to sneak 13
items into a checkout lane that was for 12 items or fewer.
The ladies took their dispute outside -- where insults and
profanities reportedly escalated to physical combat. Tooks
said Morgan shoved her to the ground and kicked her in the
head. Morgan claims Tooks was the assailant and that she
was only trying to protect herself.

-------- A Shot at Suicide Saves Terminally Ill Man --------

TEXAS - Talk about your luck. A Texas man who only had two
months to live due to an inoperable and fatal brain tumor
decided to make the sentence a little shorter by taking his
own life. "Steve Huey" reportedly wrote a suicide note and
then placed the gun to his head and shot. A few hours later,
Huey's friends found him on the floor in a pool of blood and
called an ambulance. The amazing thing is that Huey not only
survived the gunshot to the head, he actually shot the tumor
off of his brain. Doctors say this is a 254 million to one
shot, and friends are now encouraging Huey to play the lot-
tery. Huey is currently writing a book and is planning a
book signing tour. Also in the works, a movie based on his
story. "I am a very lucky guy and I plan to turn this miracle
into some serious cash for myself," said Huey in an exclusive
interview.

---- Frustrated Housewife Holds Repair Man at Gun Point ----

ARGENTINA - A washing machine repair man had no idea that a
routine repair job would turn out to be a hostage nightmare.
Terra Populares, a 44-year-old aggravated housewife, told
him she had nothing but troubles since she bought her washing
machine and allegedly held the engineer at gun point until
he fixed it. Before allowing him to leave, Populares forced
the repair man to sign a statement swearing the machine would
never break again. He promptly restored the machine, and the
mad woman let him go... straight to the police station.
Populares was quickly arrested.

Just my own observation.... WHAT?!?!?!?!