Things Learned The Hard Way

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

well, that says it all really :D

wow, all of those are great, and true, and wow

I especially like no 13.

I love number 15! :D That makes you think...

Great list! Made me laugh! :D

Yeah... easier said than done. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I don't agree with most of them.

but you must at least agree with number 1.

I love your list! I had a few thoughts on the subject, too... :D

1. It's important to push when you can't pull.

2. Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

3. There is no good, there is no bad. Just perspective and opinion.

4. Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

5. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

6. Whatever you do, don't fall into a time warp!

1) what if we're talking about pulling your friend up over a cliff... if you dont have the strength to pull him back up, you should just push him down?

2) Yeah, i gotta give you that one.

3) Heh, except if you take an ethics class you learn that this is actually a falsity known as moral relativism. there is a difinitive good and bad which can be judged by a moral perspective.

4) thats why i hope never to go to court

5) disagree, i got so drunk that i sat staring at a TV without moving for two hours before i was sober enough to move again. no laying down needed, although when i got up to crawl back to my room, i only made it halfway down the hall before passing out against the wall.

6) why not?

OK i've got one:

1. Everyone will never agree on one of these lists