Ironworks Gaming Forum - something to read about .. READ On! and quotes

got this from the email, pretty funny but i edit the last part to try and make it more umm.. considerate.. :D ..

------------------------------------------

>something we should all understand...
>
>From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What makes 100%?
>What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people
>who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings
>where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?
>
>Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
>questions:
>
>What makes up 100% in Life?
>
>If: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
>
>is represented as:
>
>1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
>
>Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
>
>8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%
>
>K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
>
>11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%
>
>A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
>
>1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%
>
>However:
>
>B-U-*-L-*-H-*-T
>
>2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20-103%
>
>and, look how far ass kissing will take you.
>
>A-$-$-K-*-$-$-I-N-G
>
>1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7=118%
>
>So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While hard work and
>knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, bu*l $h*t and
>a$$ k*s*ing will put you over the top!
>
>I guess this is something we always knew. However, isn't it great to be
>able to mathematically prove it?

edit: rather than putting another joke from the email to a new post decided to put it here.. :D
-------------------
ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone, Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, it was never meant to be....

THE NEW VERSIONS...

Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was.
Whatever gave you the idea that she would anyway?

Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
Don't worry, she'll come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within a week
forget it.

Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back put your life on
hold and sit and wait.

Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her fr ee again, repeat*

The Human Ecologist:
If you love someone, Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone, Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a - 1 in the
second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that...

Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free,
If she comes back, I think we can charge
her for re-installation fees and
tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist :
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone, Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her
coming back is high.
If she doesn't, your relation was
improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone, Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person:
If you love someone,
don't set her free.

The FBI agent:
If you love someone, set her free.
Then put bug on her phone and
surveillance cameras in her house.

The Pathetic:
If you love someone, set her free.
Who wants to be stuck with a loser like
you anyway?

The Lawyer:
If you love someone, set her free.
Then sue her for emotional distress.

The Psycho:
If you love someone, set her free.
If she doesn't come back shoot her.

The Creepy Sociopath:
If you love someone, stalk her.

The geeky programmer:
IF
you love someone
THEN
set her free
ENDIF
DO UNTIL she comes back
wait
ENDDO

:D :D

[ 09-17-2003, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: Harkoliar ]