Why Chocolate Is Better Than Men
By Kim Burke

Chocolate is sweet no matter what kind of mood you're in.

Chocolate stimulates endorphin secretion, which leads to euphoria. Every time.

Chocolate is always predictable yet never boring.

Chocolate doesn't have a preferred position.

Chocolate doesn't care if I weigh 120 pounds or 220 pounds.

Chocolate is cheap and easy but delivers like a King.

Chocolate doesn't talk back.

Chocolate doesn't talk.

Chocolate doesn't play pull my finger.

Chocolate doesn't snore.

Chocolate doesn't require the use of the remote control.

Chocolate doesn't need to watch the 'Outdoor' channel.

Chocolate doesn't tell me my opinion is incorrect.

Chocolate doesn't feel the need to go hunting.

Chocolate doesn't have to explain or convince me of how great it is.

Chocolate is good whether hot or cold.

Chocolate doesn't roll eyes or pout.

Unlike a dog, chocolate cannot get pregnant and have five babies.

A chocolate facial could be a beautiful thing.

Chocolate doesn't play games and isn't into sports. Chocolate always wins.

LOL, LOL this is funny! Time for the ladies to take their revenge!

Ho hum! :D :D

WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN:

1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

31. A beer does not come with in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

Seeing as we're on ths subject... here is a little joke my aunt told me over Christmas:

If the Three Wise Men had been Three Wise Women, they would've:

1. asked for directions instead of "following a star", as such they would have been there early.

2. brought useful gifts for a young mother like blankets and toys, not Gold, Frankinsence, and Myrh (they are all well and good, but not all that useful at the time).

3. made a cup of tea and got Joseph out of harms way before the baby was born.


My uncle did chip in at this stage though to point out that they would've been completely unable to park the camels.

Can't we have both ? Men and chocolate, I mean, I hate beer ... [img]smile.gif[/img]

*giggles* [img]tongue.gif[/img] , LS! ;)

I find BOTH of these veeeeery amusing. [img]smile.gif[/img]