not directed at anyone in particular (and certainly not at people on the board, you guys are way more polite than most people i've encountered), but what happend to things like "please", "thank you", and "excuse me"? they seem to have been replaced by things like "gimme that", "get outta my way", and "hurry up and die already".

does it skip generations like some recessive genetic defect? i mean, i've met older people (60's) that have been *generally* more polite, and also some of the younger ones (16-30) that understand basic niceties. ....and then you've got those little brats (under 16) that have mouths dirtier than sewers, and those middle aged bitter ice-holes that seem to be trying to pick a fight. (i'm 27, if anyone wonders.)

unfortunately it seems that good manners don't rub off nearly as well as bad manners. i'm guilty, i know. but i still feel bad about it. i dread the day my descent into rude MF territory stops bothering me! but you know, you can only take so many snide comments and cold stares before ya just look 'em right in the eye and say, "oh yeah? well bring it, if you got the cajones, you bleeping-bleep-bleee-eeeeee-eeeee-eeee-eeep!!" (fishermen always did have a way with cursing! hee)

anyone else notice this happening? or am i just "mr. lucky" and need to relocated to a more mellow region?

Strewth top post Winter wolf!

I try hard with my kids, they may grow up thugs but damn they will be polite thugs if I have a say :D
On a recent trip back to England I used public transport a lot and was saddened by every time I offered my seat to a older person or a lady the lack of thanks I got or in some cases just plain shock as if I was from mars :rolleyes: many times I offered and was just snubbed! Leaving me embarrassed and sad.

Yes manners have decayed, a sign perchance of civilisation disappearing up its own arse?

Hah! That ship sailed a long time ago my friend.

As a people we're getting more selfish and rude, perhaps it's always been that way in every generation, I dunno.

What I do know is that most people wouldn't know good manners if they walked up to them and poured gravy on their heads.

Excuse me ?

:D

good one, johnny! only took me three read throughs to get that joke.

and wellard, i hear you. i've more or less given up on givng seats to people. the thing is, here the people you're trying to help get pushed out of the way--literally-- by some selfish prig who's getting off at the next stop anyway. as for thugs, heh, just make sure they're *honest* thugs, not those weasly trickster types. ^__^;;

Well I have to say that things have changed and will keep on changing. It his hard to pin point where the problem is. I still feel as parents we need to do are part to try to keep your kids on track. Our big thing with Sydney is to make sure she always says please and thank you and excuse me(she can fart something fierce). [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 03-19-2005, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Mack_Attack ]

She takes after her daddy then eh ? :D

She takes after her daddy then eh ? :D </font>[/QUOTE]I was going to say Mom. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I know what you're saying Winter Wolf! It's funny, I'll see a dozen really rude people in a day and then one person breaks the mold and is polite, bringing back my belief that they're out there, just not always the most visible.

The other day I'd had several rude people in my office but on my way out the door a young man in a wheelchair actually held a door open for ME! I thought he was incredibly polite and thoughtful, as I was carrying several bags and struggling through the first set of doors I got to when he opened the second one and held it. Just restores your faith in humankind to have one nice deed in a day.

I try to remember that when I'm driving too, and let someone in when we're at a crossroad or highway onramp.

[ 03-19-2005, 06:39 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

Many folks don't quite get it. I think it's an extension of the "not my fault" attitude that seems so prevalent -- why use manners? It's not my fault... must be someone else's.

My kids are being raised to be polite. And while my son doesn't fart all that much, he can sure belch with the best of 'em :D

Welcome to the world buddy. You don't meet more rude people than you do in the life of a teenager, nothing but that as far as the eye can see. I'm a teen, but I still hold doors open, say thank you when needed and the like, but generally people still put me in the rude category sometimes. Mainly because I have this bad habit of speaking my mind truthfully, and most people don't like the truth :D

To me, that's not acting rude, it's just that life is too short to be subtle and to be beating around the bush.

Politeness has definatly gone from some people. I offered my seat on a packed bus to an old lasy. As I am getting up this little 17 year old punk pushes in to get the seat.

Did I give that guy a mouthful. I then picked him up asked the lady to sit down again and pushed him out of the way. The funny thing was that he went to complain to the bus driver. The bus driver told him to shut up or get off the bus :)

Yeah, when i do something like that and someone doesn't saythank you i feel like slamming the door i was holding open for them in theor face. I'm 17 by the way. It getting worse as well.

I was called a gentleman last week, I was quite surprised, I do make an effort to be nice, there are things that bother me however, but I don't see why people shouldn't be polite.
Everything is a lack of respect, opening a door for someone is considered strange now, if I do it the person stares at me, ha, I was going somewhere with this girl and her father was driving and I opened the car door for her and her father said "wow, you don't see that anymore".
another example, some guys picked a fight with my group of friends a while back for no reason just that they greatly outnumbered us, hell we had a girl with us and she had to witness that. Vengeance was ultimately ours at a later date however, but my point was kids are just brats now, they look for fights, and are just idiots. I think a major part of the problem is that they find fighting fun, and it gains them respect. Another major problem is a lack of respect for society, sure society sucks, but the lack of respect is the cause of so many problems, like vandalism, if we had respect for another person's property then there would be less problems.
But honestly it's how the kids grow up and where they do so, if they grow up in the gutter and are utter derros, then they will be derros. That "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" thing applies, if the parents did something then this might not be a problem, I mean these kids are f***ing each other at ages like 11, and have mobile phones in primary school, and that adds to it, and uncensored media too.
Basically, parents nowadays tell their kids "fight fight fight" in life, because someone else will beat them to something if they don't, sure it may be true, but the kids need to know when to let up, getting a seat on a bus won't help them in life, they need to know when to be nice, and when to be competitive and discern between these times.
Also a lack of empathy is really bad recently, I read about loads of elderly people being bashed and killed, I mean what the hell is that?! if I saw someone doing that...
Right, (it seems I’ve got a lot to say about this) I was talking to a guy I’m friends with, he's about 65 now, and he's an ex-air force pilot, he's been in a lot of combat situations and has killed in the air. He fought for our side against communism, and when he walks down the street and some 20 something year old brats call him an "old f***" and a "fa**ot" what can he do? the police will charge him if he touches them, yet they can get away with it. Where is the respect? if it weren’t for people like him they might be earning an unavoidable $46,000 AUD a year, in an oppressed hell.

Look, I’m not some kind of fanatic or anything, but what I’m about to say is a little strange, but I believe the solution (however I hope beyond hope it never happens) is war, if we had a war and enlisted some of those idiots and taught them some respect in the service, and showed them they are not invincible then that might work.
But I hope there is a better solution, I only come to that conclusion based upon history, also our generation being rapped in "cotton wool" is a major part of it. I was told the police would be called if I continued to climb a tree in my local park, I was told the police would be called if I didn't get out of a small creek, it just strikes me that kids can't have fun outdoors anymore, what do you expect them to turn into?
They are not going to have an understanding of things if they are shielded from everything bar TV.

I'm 17 and I hate my generation.

Diffrent places diffrent standards, if I don't know somone I'll be polite, all P&Q's, if I know somone though well saliors would blush..

But that's just the social norm here.

Well I don't know whether manners are getting worse, given that I've lived less than 24 years so I can't possibly know what things used to be like in the old glory days. It is a fairly common thing for today's standards/morals/teenagers/music/you name it to be decried as 'much worse!' than the generation before, even when there is evidence to the contrary. Like you often hear old guys on the radio talking about how bad schools are nowadays and when they went to school everyone behaved and everyone knew how to read. Um, no!

But regardless of whether manners are 'worse' than they used to be, there are a lot of bad manners out there that could stand to be improved. It's not just today's generation who are the culprits though, elderly people can be extremely pushy and selfish. Some really seem to have an 'I'm old, therefore I'm entitled' attitude. I remember once in the supermarket waiting in the checkout queue, and this old woman rocks up behind me and proceded to run into me with her trolley continuously - I would move forward, and she would run into me again.

But also aspects of our culture are affecting manners - mobile phones are a huge culprit. Even when asked, some people are too inconsiderate to turn their phones off. And I really can't imagine what people are thinking when they are having coffee or a meal with someone and their phone rings and they just answer it right there and have a conversation while their companion who is right in front of them sits and twiddles their thumbs. The other day I was running an experiment and one of my participants took a call while doing the experiment.

On the other hand, there are still lots of people who are polite. People open doors or hold them open after they've gone through for me all the time, and I do it in turn. There have always been selfish assholes, but there are also plenty of considerate people as well.

Try getting out of a train in The Hague. Everyone just hoovers in front of the doors looking at you like: Get out already! I want a seat!

Or an old lady jumping the line at a supermarket, just because she thinks she can because she's a senior.

this is amazing. i'm torn between feeling better or feeling worse. i think i'll feel better, because people (some at least) recognize there is a problem. i just hope we can do a little part to try and bring the standards of politeness up a bit. and gangrell: by all means speak your mind and be honest. anyway there's a big difference between honesty and the way people act.

speaking of unspeakable rudeness, my wife told me yesterday that she saw on the news that a man actually *punched a guy in the eye* for suggesting that he need not shove his way into the bus because there were enough seats for everyone. the guy's *eye* CAME OUT OF THE EYESOCKET! the victim is most certainly going to be blind in that eye. at least the asailant was caught. frankly i'm thinking "an eye for an eye" would probably teach this guy a lesson in manners.

but anyway, i'm really glad and it warms my heart that parents are teaching their kids good manners. and i'm happy to hear that teens can be polite, you guys just get a bad rap 'cause of the ones who don't give a damn. don't lose heart!

"Pardon me, Ma'am, I do hope I'm not troubling you. If you wouldn't mind just steeping this way. Capital! Now, it'd really would be awwwfully nice of you to hand over your wallet and phone, or else I'm very sorry to say that we will clobber you and take it anyway. No other valuable items? Marvellous. Top of the morning to you!" :D

The problem here isn't manners in real life so much as driving. As the joke goes "If you lined up all the cars in the world from here to the moon... there would still be a Malaysian driver trying to beat the queue."

In real life, people are generally polite enough to people, if somewhat distant in general, but not nearly as bad as some other places. But on the roads... its a nightmare. A taxi driver i was... erm, what's the word? Hiring, using? [img]tongue.gif[/img] ... once drove the point home once. We were sitting in a, not terribly long, line for the traffic light. We would almost certainly have gotten through before the light changed. The taxi driver starts to pull out in to the opposite lane to jump the queue, but is suddenly thwarted by the guy in front doing exactly that. He winds down his window and starts yelling abuse at the guy in Cantonese [img]tongue.gif[/img]

ANother thing I found funny was when riding on a bus. The driver takes advantage of the low rate of traffic driving perpendicular to us to run two red lights. I thought this was the most pointless thing. Its bad enough when most people do it, but at least they might actually be going somewhere. A bus driver just drives round and round in a circle all day. There is nothing to be gained by going any faster, because the buses here don;t have a schedule or anything... SO why bother? :D

a friend of mine had a taxi driver abuse him for many blocks last week, so he drove slower, the taxi driver then preceded to throw something at his car and drove off down a side street, the friend then followed the driver and beat him up.
So yes, i'll agree, driving sucks for manners.

Part of it I think is location. For the most part, the bigger the city, the less polite the inhabitants. There are strong cultural differences as well. Here's a weird one - 30% of Canadians actually thank the bank machines.

I guess one can be too polite too!

Where on earth did you get that stastistic?

No such thing as being too polite IMO [img]smile.gif[/img] Always better to err on the side of caution. And slightly off-topic I know, but is Canada really as amazing as its made out to be? BfC, South Park, Simpsons all seem to put it on a massive pedestal - is this justified?

Not really, no.

...I'm polite, now piss off! ;)

Politeness as such disappeared as the nations of the world gravitated toward industrial and post-industrial societies, where time became the thing to live by, second by second. If life was a bit more relaxed, less hasty, I'm sure that there would be fewer rude people.

Well, I think the problem is probably a combination of a lot of things, however, I think a main problem is that manners and kindness aren't schools of thought that are valued enough to really be taught. What I mean by that is that children and people alike tend to learn more from actions than they do words. We parents can't tell our kids to be nice and have manners and then flip off that guy that cuts us off in traffic while battering him with a series of our favorite swear words. In my opinion, the best way to restore manners and kindness in the world is to restore them in ourselves first. I know, that answer sucks, but I'm betting it is probably true!! :0) I don't give up hope because I think people are inately good and just suffering from "Screw-it-there-is-no-point-in-being-nice-when-everyone-is-so-mean-itus!"

Just my two cents worth. :0) Great topic!

~Salinye

hmmmm..politeness and manners gone?

as a parent i believe in the "do as i'm doing" method of teaching. in other words even when i am exasperated and raising my voice with my 14mo to get off the computer chair, i'm still saying please, and i still say thank you, if she listens, which sometimes she does.

some people have looked down on my parenting style (loose, i'm not bothered by my kids drawing on my walls so long as it's not with permanent marker) but i wonder how many of them had a 14 mo saying (and signing) "please" for cookies. altho carol is not at a stage where she understand apologizing or giving kisses where we have hurt someone, both justice (6yo) and erilyn (2yo) do and also do much easier if we've apologized for our wrongs, too (i.e. erilyn gets knocked down while being pulled away from hurting her little sister, so we kiss and apologize her, she kisses and apologizes to her sissy.)

Polite or no, it's really how one reacts to a situation that matters. It's EASY to get pissed at someone for being "rude". The challenge is staying calm and being kind in the face of rudeness.

We are in the age of Horus, the child-god. This means that humans, in general, are going to behave more like children, selfish and instictive. Children want attention, and "being bad" gets attention better than "being nice". Niceness is ignored by most folks because they are in a hurry and don't take notice.

Best thing to do in the face of rudeness is the same thing to do in the face of a misbehaving child: smile and ignore it. If this does not work, then one can calmly ask with a concerned face: "is everything okay? You seem upset." Purposefully 'confusing' someone's rudeness for them needing help will often disarm the rude person and force them to see you as another human with feelings "too".

It may sound odd, but it's the rude people that actually teach us about ourselves. Anyone can be calm with Mr. Nice-Nice.. Patience is a virtue taught by one's enemies.

_Scarab

I was bright up to be polite. Whether I am or not is a topic open for discussion.
But most of teh people in my school are rude gits.

And what's wrong with thanking bank machines? I thank my computer sometimes.