The 2004 CCH Unscheduled Absence Survey, conducted for CCH by Harris Interactive® confirmed this trend. CCH found most employees who fail to show up for work, however, aren't physically ill, according to the survey. In fact, the study found only 38 percent of unscheduled absences are due to personal illness, while 62 percent are for other reasons, including family issues (23 percent), personal needs (18 percent), stress (11 percent) and entitlement mentality (10 percent).

One trend that also may be influencing the higher rate of unscheduled absences is the fact that the number of employers allowing employees to carry over sick time from one year to the next is trending downward and has dropped from more than one-half of companies (51 percent) in 2000 to 37 percent in 2004. As a result, employees may be saying, "I'd rather use it than lose it," noted Lori Rosen, J.D., CCH workplace analyst, and author of HR Networking: Work-Life Benefits.

But could you get away with saying you had to go to your mother's dog's funeral or that you had brain cancer? Would you believe an employee who had the swine flu, forgot the way to work, or was arrested because of mistaken identity? Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work.


I was sprayed by a skunk.


I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


I couldn't find my shoes.


I hurt myself bowling.


I was spit on by a venomous snake.


I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


A hitman was looking for me.


My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


I eloped.


My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


I forgot what day of the week it was.


Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


A tree fell on my car.


My monkey died.

Hmmm some of those may actually be believed, I mean someone COULD spike your drink :D

Why does one need an excuse when one is sick ? Isn't that reason enough ? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
wont work... everybody knows i'm chinese [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Well, maybe she always wanted to go there one last time. :D

Johnny's excuse would be : "my intravenus beer injection system broke down and I had an extreme muscle spasm-inducing withdrawal reaction fit"

:D

Rikard: if working in Europe, you could say "it was chinese new year celebrations" and when your employer says "no it wasn't" you could say, "ah but it's the year of the *insert random living organism here*, that only comes around once every 3457 years" :D

or you could say it was year of the monkey and you had to get as drunk as a drunken monkey to uphold ancient family tradition, only held in your family, but you;d be executed by your conservative grandfather, if you didn't adhere to it :D

[ 01-10-2005, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

That seems a fair possibility, but sick is sick, right ? :D

It's nice to work for myself. [img]smile.gif[/img]

But Ziroc, if you're sick and something goes wrong with the IW server, you have a coupla thousand of us to answer to, not just one boss! :D ;) And then there's Choc, if he's as fearsome as I've heard, you're not allowed to get sick, else you might forget to feed him :D

[ 01-10-2005, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

I have misplaced my shoes on many occasions, once I was at work at the time and I lost them over lunch break (i did find them later), a couple of times I have just had wet shoes, or some other problem with them.

Forgetting what day it is, is a big thing that tends to happen, wow, the good old days when I had a watch that told me everything, I don't even wear a watch anymore.

Verry funny Arvon, it made me laugh, good to see you back to your high standard of jokes.

Sorry, this was a joke? I must've missed that. I thought it was just to start a topic on stupid excuses.

But Ziroc, if you're sick and something goes wrong with the IW server, you have a coupla thousand of us to answer to, not just one boss! :D ;) And then there's Choc, if he's as fearsome as I've heard, you're not allowed to get sick, else you might forget to feed him :D </font>[/QUOTE];) Yep! lol, I work like 14-16 hours a day on the forum/website a lot, and knock on pressed wood, I haven't been sick since 1996 or so. Now I DO have bad backpain/hip pain, and that does cause trouble for me and I have to go workout or lay down for a bit.

I don't sit in my PC Chair as much as I used to. I take loads of breaks--which is something all of you should do! It's not good to sit idle in one spot for more than an hour without getting up and stretching.

And yeah, when Choc is ready to play, he'll run into the PC Room, meowing deeply and rubs my legs until I pet him or play--if I ignore him, he bites my leg or puts his front paw up on my leg like he's tapping me, like "HEY! DOWN HERE, HUMAN GRUBWORM!" [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Well, i get out of my PC chair quite a lot too, every other 15 minutes i have to walk to the kitchen, and while i open the fridge and reach for another cold one, i stretch as much as i can.

Exercise people, it's good for ya. :D

"my dog ate it"

Makes no sense, but it's a lot more believable than some of the excuses listed ther ;)

y'know i'd love it just once if nathan called off for family issues. i don't see that as a sick family member (me or hte kids) but as we had a huge fight and really need to work it out now. he never does tho. he always puts work first.

I just *had* to play bingo for five days straight, or else I would've gone berserk!!!

[ 01-10-2005, 05:02 PM: Message edited by: Zuvio ]

I have a co-worker who calls in for "mental health days". As soon as I find out what she means by that I may take a few myself. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Heh, if I don't want to go to work. I don't need to give excuses. ;)

For javan: "mental health days" are the polite term for "I want to kill everyone and everything I see while I am at this crap job, especially my bosses and supervisors who are rude pukes that can't tell their asses from their head...(commence violent ranting)"

I've had a couple of jobs like that. I took my "sick days" for the very reason that I was *exactly* one stupid comment from *anyone* away from going down in history as "a quiet man, who one day wiped out 50+ people before they finally took him down." Interestingly, they were both in similar lines of work. So guess joke was on me for not learning the first time 'round.

I've since decided that I'd rather be poor than an infamous killer. So far I'm loving that decision. (yeS, i'M UnsTabLe. wHy dO yoU asK?)

Hahaha... wow. how nice...

"Couldn't go to work today... the socks I should wear for today weren't washed."

Fine, the cat turning of the alarm clock was better. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 01-11-2005, 09:57 AM: Message edited by: Bahamut ]

Yeah, cos you're so 'ard no one wants to mess wit you, right? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

LOL, dont' you just hate it when your cat unplugs your alarm clock?

it is a topic of a humerous nature, am i not allow to reffer to it as a "joke"?

Yeah, cos you're so 'ard no one wants to mess wit you, right? [img]tongue.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]You don't understand dude, Kakero has servants who pass the message for him. We should all be humble in his presence. :D

Try not to strain something doing all that. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

As absurd as these are, how about one about excuses given (either by you or (hopefully not, but it might have happened) to you) for backing out of a date.

There would be the really creative ones...

SilentThief