Sleeping in Church

A man goes to the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said, we have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?

"I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg
with the hatpin."

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her
husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp .... hatpin. "Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister 's quick reply.

Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon, Mrs. Jones again nodded off.. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones. "My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long though she again nodded off. This time however the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"

"Amen!" replied ALL the women in the congregation.

HAHA. Good one! :D

Although I'm sure I saw it a couple of months ago.

Nice references to God though [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Great one Dron! Had me laughing for a minute or two.

LMAO :D [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Great one! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Hey d, I sent you a PM, did you get it, or did it go right into your trash?

Oh, and as for this thread..

REPAINT YOU THINNER!! :D :D

Hey d, I sent you a PM, did you get it, or did it go right into your trash? </font>[/QUOTE]I did not get any pm from you. I'll check whether my pm box is full.

EDIT: nope, only 27 messages in there. It can take 60. Try sending it again.

[ 11-22-2004, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: dplax ]

Uh, what are you talking about, man? :confused:

Uh, what are you talking about, man? :confused: </font>[/QUOTE]'repent you sinner!' , said with a comical reference to painting products ;)

Ah, I see. What brought on the paint puns? [img]smile.gif[/img]

heh! that was a nice one. what a coincidence. ;)

Hey d, I sent you a PM, did you get it, or did it go right into your trash? </font>[/QUOTE]I did not get any pm from you. I'll check whether my pm box is full.

EDIT: nope, only 27 messages in there. It can take 60. Try sending it again. </font>[/QUOTE]Ok, I'll try again.

Shoot, you're gone. I was wondering how you cropped and editted my pic, so I could do it myself in the future, thanks

It's an old joke...

A painter gets a contract to paint a church. He's having a rough time of things, though, and to try to maximize his profits, he cuts the paint with paint thinner so that it lasts longer. Unfortunately, it also covers poorly, and the church pastor calls him on the poor job he's done.

Ashamed, the man explains what happened.

To which the pastor replies, "Repaint! And thin no more!"

I didn't start it... :D

Well I still didn't get a pm from you, so I'll explain here. I used a program called irfanview to cut out the animal and then to resize it to the size of an Ironworks sig. Irfanview can be found here. If you then want to upload it try creating an account at imageshack or at photobucket.

Well I still didn't get a pm from you, so I'll explain here. I used a program called irfanview to cut out the animal and then to resize it to the size of an Ironworks sig. Irfanview can be found here. If you then want to upload it try creating an account at imageshack or at photobucket. </font>[/QUOTE]I didn't PM the second time 'cos you wern't on the forum anymore and I didn't know how. I'll check out that program; thanks

Just for future reference Variol, if someone is not on the forum visitors list you can search for them in the directory where you can find the pm option beside their name.

Hehehehe. Lovin' it!

Or just click on the button at the top of one of their posts...

A classic but I've heard that one before.