My grandmothers biopsy came back and it is cancer, she has more test to be run in the morning, but as old as she is I am not looking for it to be good news, but how do I explain it to my kids that she is probably not going to live much longer and that we can no longer see her? I do not want to come right out and say she died, with them not really knowing what death is, but yet they need to know why we can not go there when she does pass away, I want them to be ready for it, this is pretty much the hardest thing I have had to face so far :(

That's horrible, Stormy! Hmm, if it was me, though, I wouldnt tell the kids, until all hope is lost. And that's not usually till the whole ordeal is over. Anyways, if you believe in God, I would just suggest telling your kids that their Great-Grandmother has gone to live with God, now, and you can't visit till much later. I hope everything turns out well, and you dont have to worry about it, Stormy! [img]smile.gif[/img] :hug:

i really wouldn't be asking such a serious question in a games forum. but, if you want my advice its this, first go check with child psychology books, then try what my parents did to me (though i dont know if its the beast idea or not), tell them nothing and let them inquire about it. when they are old enough and logical enough to make a close guess, youll know they are mature enough to know what happenned. they may have a grudge against you for not telling them, but it will help them mature.

okay, first off,. this is not only a game forum, look up it says general conversation

and, now my answer would be, explain it to them in a babyish way, like...hmm she's gonna be sleeping...or somthing of that sort, and...i'll tell more thru msn XD,
but i mean, they will learn it one time or another, i'd say explain it to them, but in a simple way, that's what i'd do anyways , well good luck with this ^_^

The death of a family member will be difficult to deal with whatever you do. Be honest. It will be easier for them to deal with it if they know what's actually happened.

There's no easy way to address it. I believe in the honesty policy -- explain to them that everyone is on earth for a while, some longer than others. And your grandmother has been on the earth for a long time, and one day, she will die and her spirit won't be here any more. Her body will be left behind, but she won't be in it any more.

I also believe that kids should be exposed to the funeral as well. They may need and want a chance to say goodbye as well, when that time comes. Fortunately, funerals today aren't what I remember growing up. I remember being at the funeral home for three full days, not the two or three bouts of two hour visitations.

Plus, with the current approach of putting up posters with pictures of the deceased, it actually makes it a good way to say goodbye, especially at a young age.

But that's my opinion... and I haven't had to test it out in a while. Hmmm... I think that when my grandmother passed, my daughter (three at the time) may have come to one visitation.

Talk over with your husband and decide what makes the most sense for both of you. You're the ones who have to make and live with the decision.

Good luck on it.

thanks guys, I am not sure what is the best approach, I do remember how bad I felt that my parents did not let my go to my grandmothers funeral on my dads side, but I was a little older than my kids are :/

There are a variety of childrens stories that deal with death. Reading one to them could get the conversation started in the right direction. I would sugest that you be clear with yourself on how you feel about death because the kids will come out of this with your example in thier hearts. Be honest though, kids are very smart and can deal with almost anything if presented in a loving way.

bump

I have to agree, thats what my parents did with me when my granfather passed away when I was young. I think it helped.

I know it sounds totally stupid, Stormy, but if I were you I would try to be honest and explain it in terms of what they have seen. Maybe relate it to a childrens story that has "death" in it (ie, bambi's mother dying... at least... i think she did from what I can remember). Tell them that Grandma isn't going to be around anymore... but its not because of something they did or didnt do.

Don't lie. Even at this age, kids can remember (even if subconciously) things like this. I'd rather be allowed to go to my nans funeral rather than be held back because I was too young.

But then again, this is just all my opinion. Do what feels right hun.

:hugs:

I'm so sorry Stormy!
When my pets and granma died, my parents jsut told me when I got home from school. Maybe it wasn't the best way, but it worked.
I think you should be honest with them ,and try to break it to them as gently as possible.

Good luck.

*nods*

While my memory isn't that good, I still don't like it that my parents did not tell me everything that happened to my family. I think most adults underestimate the way children can deal with things.

talk to them calmly and clearly. and do it soon. make sure they don't think grandma will come back (justice thinks dex is coming back because it happened in "brother bear.")

hug them love them, and definately let them say goodbye!

thanks for all of the advice guys [img]smile.gif[/img] I think I am going to get all of the family together including my grandmother, so we can explain what is happening. she goes monday for one last test, and depending on that outcome decides the course she will take, but becuase of her age, and her being tired and pretty much alone now (meaning my grandpa passed away along time ago) I think she is probably just going to live the best she can and let nature take it's course [img]smile.gif[/img] the last test came back saying that it was about 3 cm, but they do not knwo if it has spread or not. so I guess now is the time to find those books and explain death to the kids so they can be prepared for it. thanks again and sorry to ask such a hard question.