> >>1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> >>
> >>2) The farm was used to produce produce.
> >>
> >>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
> >>
> >>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
> >>
> >>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> >>
> >>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
> >>
> >>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
> >>present the present.
> >>
> >>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
> >>
> >>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> >>
> >>10) I did not object to the object.
> >>
> >>11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> >>
> >>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
> >>
> >>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
> >>
> >>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
> >>
> >>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
> >>
> >>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
> >>
> >>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> >>
> >>18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
> >>
> >>19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
> >>
> >>20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
> >>
> >>21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> >>
> >>Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is neither egg in
> >>eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> >English
> >>muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
> >>
> >>Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
> >>
> >>We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
> that
> >>quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
> >>neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is! it that writers write
> but
> >>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
> >>
> >>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of boot beeth.
> >>
> >>One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
> >>
> >>One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
> >not
> >>one amend.
> >>
> >>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
> >>what do you call it, an odd or an end?
> >>
> >>If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
> >>
> >>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> >>
> >>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
> >asylum
> >>for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
> >>play at a recital?
> >>
> >>Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> >>
> >>Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> >>
> >>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
> a
> >>wise guy are opposites?
> >>
> >>You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
> house
> >>can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
> >out
> >>and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
> >>
> >>English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
> >>creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
> >>
> >>That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
> lights
> >>are out, they are invisible.
> >>
> >>And why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?"

[ 07-27-2004, 08:26 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

:D LOL! That`s funny Vask! [img]smile.gif[/img]

This one rocks!

Wow... Those were funny [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Good ole english...I avoid most of those by talking in bigger words!

hmm, I had no trouble reading it [img]tongue.gif[/img]

you're not supposed to have trouble reading it!!

all makes sense to me!

i like number 7..

im just trying to imagine a bunch of aliens or in the future when another language is dominant, historians will have one hell of a time figuring out how to understand proper english.

HAHA! LOL!
That's a cool list, there!

English is a very strange language, if you think about it.

Here is an old joke about adopting Euro English:

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU,rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

- There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

- In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

- By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

- During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer

ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!