Ironworks Gaming Forum - Received this joke in an email... it's awesome. PG 13 :)

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- - Received this joke in an email... it's awesome. PG 13 :) (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90484)

Quote:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
differ so
much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have
never figured out why men think with their head and women think
with
their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown
into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was
that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
take so
I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit.
We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And
just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
added, why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I
buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
over a frozen hell.

YEAH!! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] :D

Dude,

This has got to be the best joke ever!
Well, maybe just shy of the "aliens have attacked earth".

LMFAO!!!! That's. So. Awesome!!! Heiro, this is the best joke I've ever heard! I bow down, you rule, lol! :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Well, I hate the whole steretypical man thinks with head thing. But that joke rocked :D

Haha, that was hilarious Hiero, good one! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

ah.. sweet revenge if you ask me :D .

One of the best jokes ever :D :D :D :D :D

Yes... right back atcha!!! :D

Funny!

Nice one mate. :D :D :D

Not exactly cheering when you've just woken up after 5 hours, having gone to bed at nearly 5:30 in the morning.... [img]graemlins/yawn.gif[/img] argh.
Nice to see a joke in here that I didn't know, too!

Quote:

Originally posted by Melusine:
Nice one mate. :D :D :D

Not exactly cheering when you've just woken up after 5 hours, having gone to bed at nearly 5:30 in the morning.... [img]graemlins/yawn.gif[/img] argh.
Nice to see a joke in here that I didn't know, too!

I know that feeling Melusine... I hate the feeling... I get irritated for some reason. At least you still got 5 hours... ;)

[img]graemlins/Funny_post.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wootrock.gif[/img]

Great joke, come back from that one gals :D

LOL that joke kicks ass :D Nice one [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

And its also a great excuse for Ross to use the new smilies [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Quote:

Originally posted by RoSs_bg2_rox:
[img]graemlins/Funny_post.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wootrock.gif[/img]

Great joke, come back from that one gals :D

I think they will, and soon [img]graemlins/heee.gif[/img]

good to have you back Hiero [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Buddy, it's good to BE back!

*inhales deeply*
Ahhhhhhh! It's good to be ALIVE!!! :D

best one i've heard in ages

ROFLAMO! It was hilarious!

[img]graemlins/Nothing_funny_to_add.gif[/img] LoL! Very nice!

LOL, heard that one before, pretty funny!

Arvon has competition :D

ROFL! And as for the come back, the last line of the joke is revenge enough I think :D

That was the single greatest joke I have heard in ages :D
BRAVO

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Blue03:
ROFL! And as for the come back, the last line of the joke is revenge enough I think :D 

http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...o/johngd/files

Ok, anyone have the flying pigs? :D

If Aeila Jusa posts, will have one, I think. ;) (Doesn't she have a flying pig in her sig?)

[ 07-04-2004, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: Dron_Cah ]

LOL... that was a good comeback punchline. My wife thought it was cute too.

Fricken beutifull! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]