A jumper cable walks into a bar, the barman says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arem and says: " A beer please, and one for the road."

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

these two are pretty funny.

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arem and says: " A beer please, and one for the road."

[ 02-25-2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: The Fallen One ]

A mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says "Get outta here, we don't serve food." Mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fun guy."

Isn't one of enough?

Dude it's one liner's that's two you got there. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

A blonde walks into a bar and say's, OUCH!! :D

What's the difference between a brown-noser and a s#!thead? ...........Depth perception!

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

This is getting a bit rank!

LOL, Thats a good one even tho its not a one liner :D [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

This isn't a one liner; but it sticks to the barroom scenario
an H atom walks into a bar, and goes to the bathroom. he comes back and says "bartender, somebody stole my electron!" "are you sure?" the bartender says. "yes, im positive"... [img]graemlins/happyteeth.gif[/img]

A neutron walks into the bar and orders a drink. When he asks the bartender what it'll cost, he replies "No charge" [img]tongue.gif[/img]

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve ropes here. You ain't a rope er ya?"

The rope leans over, ties a knot in his head and fluffs out the ends and sez...

"Nope. Frayed Knot." [img]graemlins/verysad.gif[/img]

(Sometimes the really bad ones just stick with ya. :\ )

one liners? Honestly InjaYew, get with the times :D

Moi? Behind the times?

Just for that...

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

:D

Beware. I am armed with bad jokes and I'm not afraid to use 'em! ;)

Not a one-liner, but...

Guy walks into a bar on a Saturday night and orders three beers. He drinks them and orders three more.

"Why're you drinking three at a time?" asks the bartender.

"One for me and one for both of my brothers," replies the man. "They're back in Ireland and I don't get to see them much."

This repeats every Saturday for six months until the man comes in and orders two beers.

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss," says the bartender.

"What?" asks the man. "Oh, no, my brothers are fine. I've just given up drinking."

A baby seal walks into a club....

[img]smile.gif[/img]

lol Jorath!

A hobo runs into a bar and up to the counter. He says, "Hurry, hurry! Give me a shot of your most expensive whiskey!" So the bartender complies. He gulps it down.
"Another, another, quick, before it starts!"
Bartender serves him again.
"Hurry! Quickly! It'll start soon!"
The bartender thinks this is sort of strange, but plays along.
"More! More! It'll start any moment now!"
So the bartender pours it, and asks, "Say, just how are you going to pay for all that whiskey?"
"It's started..."

That's a long one liner LOL. :D

Celine Dione walks into a bar, and the barman asks, "What's with the long face, Celine?"

ROFL Quietman.