I am to the point now...anyonewant any kids? pick anyone you want, cept the baby course, you canhave her when she turns 2 in october, lol J/K
anyone have any advice on making kids mind, their ages are 4, 2 and 1(no jokes please,lol) i am going insane and could use some help right now

[ 04-17-2003, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Stormymystic ]

Being that I have cats, not kids (although my mom swears that a lot of the things they do that drive me crazy are just like kids), I can't say if this book is good or full of crap, but you can look. I heard it mentioned on the Today show yesterday:
http://www.msnbc.com/news/900667.asp?0dm=N12JV
"When Kids Push Your Buttons"

Hope it helps, if not, well, you can have my brother to make it up to you :D

Hmm no I can´t give you any advice I am afraid. Jackie has always been a little angel. She´s terrible at getting into trouble. I´m not sure she even understands the phrase "getting into trouble". She is all smiles and laughs, with plenty of hugs in her (thankfully ;) ). And Josh is too young to get himself into trouble. So in my home the only troublesome person would be the hubby. Of course he is not that troublesome. I stern look usually does the trick. ;) All I can say is to try and explain over and over again.

My son has done everything from opening front door, resulting in 2 year old getting out in early morning with the temp being 35 f, to plugging in a lamp, removing the bulb and putting metal in it, and also putting something in toilet and flushing repeatedly until over flows
2 year old likes to climb counters and get anything she can reach
1 year old has to be in my lap all the time, if i put her down or give her to daddy, she screams until i can't stand it

Sounds to me like you could use a small vacation. Any chance hubby could watch the kids for a night (or better yet a weekend) so that you could get out of the house. One of the best things I've heard of is a friend that gave his wife a night in a hotel room (w/room service) and left her there. She had the whole night to just herself to relax with no interruptions. To take long bubble bath, watch tv, sleep, whatever. Sounds to me like that's what you could use, if it's doable that is. If you can't afford a hotel, maybe hubby could take kids to relative for a day or two and you can stay at home and pamper yourself (NO CLEANING!!!).
If needed, I'm sure you can borrow the willow stick to convince hubby that this would be good idea [img]graemlins/whackya.gif[/img]

block all of your TV channels except for TV land and make them watch it until they like it, there... now you're kids will understand and be like you [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I wish, but i only get to go out once a month...... if he does not get a call from boss......as for relatives, if you knew my family, you would never had suggested it, the belive ideal meals consist of zebra cakes and cokes as for the hotel idea, we can not afford anything like that :(

don't you have to, like have cable first? and have a tv that is not the same age as you are? [img]smile.gif[/img]

Stormy, I am not a parent so.... but, I hope that when I am one I live by the "spare the rod, spoil the child" rule I was raised on. I simply think that at a certain age, a child is like a dog - it responds better to physical stimulus than any other. Especially the "hellion boy" - I did everything he did, but boy did my ass pay the price in spades. Metal in the light socket. :D With me, it was a bobby pin in the wall outlet - completing the circuit (in both holes) [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] You shoulda seen the sparks [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] I know I'll never forget it. ;)

Sorry, but as a good ol southern boy, I must say that spanking and confinement to my room worked wonders with me.

try that timber, but he is a disabled child, and nothing seems to work with him, he has Cerabal palsy

You could always try professional help. There is probably a lot of helpful books out there as well, as I am sure you are aware off. [img]smile.gif[/img] But professional help is definitely an option although it may feel awkward for you and your husband. But they do have tons of experience and can give you loads of advice. [img]smile.gif[/img] I hope you are not offended by this suggestion. [img]smile.gif[/img]

You could always try professional help. There is probably a lot of helpful books out there as well, as I am sure you are aware off. [img]smile.gif[/img] But professional help is definitely an option although it may feel awkward for you and your husband. But they do have tons of experience and can give you loads of advice. [img]smile.gif[/img] I hope you are not offended by this suggestion. [img]smile.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]i am not offended, but i feel it is supposedto be my place to raise him, when he finaly came home from hospital, they made us have nurses, and now it is y responsibility to make sure he is raised right, even though it is hard.
i do not want everyone saying i told you you should not have had anymore kids until he was at least 5.

And that´s what I meant by getting offended. This is a sensitive subject. But seeking help is just that, help. It will not belittle your efforts in any way. It is your, and your husbands, job to raise your children. But help is never to be spurned IMHO. You could always try it once. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then you stop. [img]smile.gif[/img] I assure you that a professional will never make you ffel like a bad mother, and indeed you are not a bad mother for acquiring help.

And that´s what I meant by getting offended. This is a sensitive subject. But seeking help is just that, help. It will not belittle your efforts in any way. It is your, and your husbands, job to raise your children. But help is never to be spurned IMHO. You could always try it once. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then you stop. [img]smile.gif[/img] I assure you that a professional will never make you ffel like a bad mother, and indeed you are not a bad mother for acquiring help.</font>[/QUOTE]I did not mean to let it bug me, but we have had the nurses before, ad one always made me feellike i was worthless, anytimei tried to take care of him, she was always right there telling me what to do

LOL I didn´t mean that you were offended. Some people give the same arguments that you did but they shout it back at you then tries to slam something heavy on your head. ;)

I understand that the nurses made you feel awkward but they were doing their job. Perhaps one of them overstepped her boundaries by "nagging". [img]smile.gif[/img] But by professional help I don´t mean hiring a nurse. I mean someone for you to talk to, or perhaps someone for your son to talk to. [img]smile.gif[/img] That´s all. [img]smile.gif[/img]

oh,lol i see a counseler mysef, but it does not help much when the world always falls in on me
i am on medicine to keep me calm and it works most of the time( when i remember to tke it) but there has just been to much this past year

I don't have kids of my own, but have done my fair share of sitting with them and helping friends as well as working with them at church. I sympathize with your frustration! I know it's a thousand times harder when you can't just leave them with 'mom' and go home, like I can. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Had you considered looking into 'parent' groups or 'play' groups in your area? Sometimes they have deals where the moms/dads in the group take turns watching each other's children for a day or a half day. It helps the parents because they get a break and it helps the kids because they learn to get along with other kids AND to deal with another adult's rules. You could ask at local churches or check the local paper or yellow pages. Maybe the local nursery schools would have a list of such groups too, you never know! Another possibility is to call your pediatrician for ideas and he/she may know of parent/play groups in your area as well.

Good luck! It really does sound like you need some time off. Can you hire a babysitter for a few hours and go out to dinner? Even if it's just McDonalds!?

husband took me to diner the other night, but it was all about his work that we talked about, as for the play groups,i have thought about it, but i am scared someone will harm my kids, i know over protective, but i live in arkansas, and know how people are here, someone onced poisioned here neighbors kids because they were in her garden all the time

<font color="#ffccff">I was going to echo Timber Loftis' suggestion, but your further information (re. CP) made me stop and think. Not much I can offer either, I have been so very extremely blessed with perfectly healthy kids, that any of the trials they have put us through have been extremely mild in comparison. My prayers and Gods blessings are surely with you.</font>

I thought TV land was a universal channel, heck I even get it in Cuba!

thank you magik, i have not had the prevlage of having healthy kids, all of them were born early and under weight

I thought TV land was a universal channel, heck I even get it in Cuba!</font>[/QUOTE]i only get local channels here, nothing really good to watch

No I am not talking about a councilor. ;) I was talking about a child care specialist. A such would be able to give you advice on what to do if your son does something he is not supposed to and you do not know how to handle it. Perhaps a pediatrician could serve your need. ;) Attalus may be able to help you there by talking to his wife. [img]smile.gif[/img]

well all thanks for the advice, i think i just needed to rant a little,i feel better now, just real tired, i am gonna take a nap and then clean my house
see you soon [img]smile.gif[/img]

Sorry I missed all the fun discussion, but let me offer one other spot... a place my wife goes to for thoughts and ideas on kids and their upbringing. It's Parent's Place (www.parentsplace.com), and they've got a number of forums for different childraising areas.

And I gotta toss in here, TL, as I put on my flame-retardant undies, that I was also raised in a household with a heavy stick. I don't know if it worked or not, and there's a whole flamewar to be had in the topic, but with my kids, I haven't had to do that yet. And they are doing just fine (aside from the bathroom incident).

I believe spanking should only be used as a last resort, and then separate from the event to avoid knee-jerk reactions. It is not, in my nine cumulative years of being a parent, the best first answer.

Stormy, I'll never complain about my 2 ever again. My youngest (7 months) like to go for my glasses. When i take them off, he goes for my eyes (with a wicked chiuldlike glee!). My olderst son just turned 6 and wants me to play Game cube with him whenever I'm free. The trouble is that if I'm holding the smallest one, I have trouble playing with the biggest one.

But now I know my complaints are baseless drivel. They are quite shallow next to your valid complaints, so I'll not so another word. Except, maybe, that you never unsnap the Pampers without a replacement in the other hand....

Whenever young kids do stuff like poking you in the eyes, put them down and don't pick them back up. It's the only way they'll start to understand that it's not a game.

Sage advice when dealing with children in large numbers is........

#1. Wear a helmet.

Come to think of it, safety glasses and a cup aren't a bad idea either!

Prepare to be attacked! Run, the toddlers cometh! [img]graemlins/outtahere.gif[/img]

[ 04-17-2003, 04:00 PM: Message edited by: Sir Kenyth ]

<font color=skyblue>The "Daddy voice" is all that it takes in my house.
My little soon-to-be-3-year-old will fight with mommy and will most of the time win her desire over mommy's...that is when the "daddy voice" is asked to come in and all I have to do is let her know that I am in the room. She quickly becomes the child of every parent's dreams.</font>

daddy is so wrapped around the girls fingers the daddy voice never works,lol
as for the finger in the eye game, been there, you have to be the boss on that one and tell them no that that causes pain and is not funny, wait till he learns teeth. my youngest likes to open my mouth wide and pick at my teeth with her fingers

thesewere just a few incedents, there was the egg/oatmeal on the couch
the coffee/sugar/creamer on the carpet..i mean the whole can
the bathroom incedents i mean 5 timesnow, the list goes on and on
it could be they are acting out having to move 4 times in the last year could that be it?

I don't have kids (at least I don't think I do, only 15) but I do play and take care of my baby cousins on occasion. They're a handful to be sure, they used to watch wrestling so they'll tackle me and hit me... so many headaches [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img] I just threaten to tickle them and they'll run away :D But they're good kids, after awhile they'll settle down and watch t.v. which is my only peace around them [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

when i threaten to tickle my kids it becomes a game for them, they learned how to tickle mama back, blowing rassberries on my tummy, and as for the wrestling, my husband let them watch it all the time, so now they like to play it out

when I was still in schooling age, I had to take care of other people children to look for extra money. the method I usually take is to give them 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles to do. while they busy themselves with the jigsaw puzzle, I busy myself with my homework.

thanks, i did try that one once, and had to take them out of babies mouth, and the 2 yearold mouth, plus the puppy loves them too,lol

ever try bribing them? just promise to give them something delicious to eat if they "ever" manage to complete the jigsaw puzzle. give them something soft like a rice cake ( kids loves rice cake ). don't give them sweets or lollypop as they might swallow it.

note : never ever warm the rice cake inside a microwave oven. I've learn a hard lesson on this.

I have a six (going on sixteen) year old daughter that can be quite a handful at times. While I know that this in no way compares with your situation, this is what usually works for my wife and me. At the beginning of each day we say that my daughter Katie's "light is on green". For the first time that she gets into trouble her "light" goes to yellow and she gets a time out. Second time she gets into trouble and her "light" goes to orange and she gets a privilege taken away, like "no TV for a day/week/year/whatever". Third time and her "light" goes to red and she gets spanked.

I really don't like to spank her, and fortunately I haven't had to do it much. At least she gets plenty of warning before she gets spanked. Usually by the time that she's on orange she's asking me for a way to be put back on green again, and I'll end up reducing her "no TV" sentence in return for being good from then on. Ahhhhh, doncha love blackmail? [img]smile.gif[/img]

Anyway, good luck and my prayers go out to you.

Mike

Thanks i might try the rice cakes, and the "light" maybe combined they might work, crossfingers on that one my 2 year olds fav word is s**t
she once got mad at her dad for turningoff thetv, and said s**t you turned the tv off,lol cute but she did get in trouble, when we could stop laughingthat is