I'm a bit of a wiseguy on-line and I know I kid a lot. If I've cause more than a chuckle, I'm sorry. I'm hoping that you'd consider offering me some advice on something

I've been posting on another board for a long time. That board, which is mainly European in audience, has a very political flavor. During the past 6 months, I've caught some abuse for my centrist POV as the world has seemed to polarize. I don't agree with the reasons behind the Iraq war, but I also don't agree with ideas like hoping all the 'imperialist troops' die horrible deaths just to spite Bush. Basically, I've been catching abuse daily now, with very few supporters, from people who I thought were friends (or at least acquaintences).

Now granted, there have been times where I really lit into people when they stepped over the line, but all that's bought me is a Tee-shirt with the word "Pariah" on it. Its also a bit difficult for me as I can't just drop by "pub X on the 14th" for get togethers the way a lot of people on that board can, which has helped to exclude me as "The Septic" (HATE that phrase. Grrrr...). I guess what I'm wondering is...is it time to cut ties and just move on? These people Were actually great to be with before the war. That, and its an admittedly witty environment. Its just that I really don't feel I'm welcome any longer by more than half of that Board and the Silence is Deafening.

I know that message boards evolve and change or even die all the time (someone even told me that their shelf life is about 2 years). I guess this is just the first time a board and I have seemed to part ways. I'm wondering what you'd do if you were me. Would you:

A) Stop posting, but lurk until the politics settle.

B) Chase after them like Rambo with a Browning until they either ban me or waive a white flag.

C) Put the website in a word document with a reminder to open it in 6 months and see what's going on then.

D) Wish them Bon Voyage and just move on.

Well, there are alot of Europeans here and on other boards as well. And we discuss the war here and on the other forums I go to as well. The key is, I think, in stating your position but doing it in as unantagonistic way as possible. AND most importantly, respect their right to disagree with you and hold as different world view. It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.

I get the feeling that maybe you "lit into" one person too many. Why don't the post a thread "aplogizing" if you feel that is appropriate and start trying to be a bit more tolerant.

And I don't think it it the "pub" thing. It is great when on-line people CAN get together in real-life but I don't believe that is what is really going on.

I would try to mend my fences. But that is just me.

I think that you will find though that all the forums have "alot of Europeans." The trick is to respect others and their views.

Hope this helps.

*hugs*

Quietman, not all boards demand respect for opinions. Sounds like you may be on one of those boards where minority opinions get marginalized and scoffed at. If that's the case, who needs the headache?? People forced or volunteering to listen to the open exchange of ideas (like on IWF) can learn, teach, and grow.

But, if you're in a place where the flock gets to abuse its black sheep, just start cussin' at them like the narrow-minded idiots they are. Drag out every dirty phrase, disgusting image, banal insult you know and go down in a blaze of glory. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

With all due respect, TL. that is just the kind of attitude that creates a bad impression of Americans to Europeans and other people.

Reeka, I wouldn't do it the way that TL is advocating. (I think he is actually being tongue-in-cheek.) I actually like the approach that you offered. However the viewpoint that TL "voiced" is hardly just an American trait. Here at IW, the last few "blazes of profanity/glory" were by European members. I think the sooner that all of us come to understand how similar we all are, in good and bad traits, the sooner we will start bridging our differences.

Well, I shall have to stand by my buddy, Timber Loftis, and also my wife. When she figured out that the Bioware board members were pricking her around, she FLAMED THE BOARDS and never came back. A bit extreme, I'll admit, but effective, judging from the anguished e-mails she got.

[ 04-03-2003, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: Attalus ]

Just hang around IW instead. Were a much better class of people [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img]

Seriously though, I've lurked at other forums but after seeing some of the abuse, lack of respect ect I've thought why bother? This has imo got a very good mix, fun, educated, mostly irreverent and well moderated. Some times I think some slapdowns by Ziroc and co are fast and harsh, however the end result is undeniable.

Just one of the many reasons that Ironworks has my favour is the way personal problems are warmly and genuinely discussed. Also worthy of note is the average age here is very young with many still at school, but gee their arguments and observations put most to shame.

But please don't flame your way to a ban from the other forum, just quietly close and lock the door behind you. [img]graemlins/twocents.gif[/img]

if they give you too much headache and caused you to become bad mood always. move on. there's plenty of board out there. I bet they won't even notice you're missing.

I would go for:

A) Stop posting, but lurk until the politics settle.

If I find that the board (or its memebers) don't appeal to my style anymore, I will quietly go away. Just because certain members (or majority, for that matters) of the board do not seemed to get along with you is not an excuse to make a scene.

At least when and if I choose to return, they will still welcome me... :D

personally i would go for a mix of A & D.. its up to you man.. but if you feel that you dont get respect simply because your a minority, dont bother going back there. if your leaving temporarily, inform some of your friends that your going away for a while till things die down so they wont be wondering where you went. you always welcome here in IW (as long as you respect the rights and opinions of others & follow the rulez of course [img]smile.gif[/img] ). going down in glory would be nice.. but still, i for one would like to keep my own personal membership there in that board... you may never know you may be the majority one day.

Could you post a link, please? Let's go flame them [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] ! Nobody shall mock our America! ;)
Seriously, post a link.

The only reason I was in any way being "critical" of him is because he admitted to "lighting into" some people over there. I don't think the Europeans that went down in a blaze of glory were due to the war though.

If you feel the need to leave a forum, just disappear quietly, that leaves your options open if you decide you were wrong and want to come back in the future....

if you feel the urge to go totally rank at people, as TL recommended, i recommend the pointlesswasteoftime forums:

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/phpBB2/index.php

edit: display extreme caution with any links/images you choose to follow on the pwot forums, i just got goatse.cx'd twice :/

[ 04-05-2003, 03:10 AM: Message edited by: lethoso ]

I absolutely agree with Reeka!
There are 2 issues that are extremely hard to discuss and have the potential to heat up the atmosphere: religion and politics.
When I'm involved in such discussions and I see, that I don't have any arguments anymore and the others still aren't convinced of my point of view, then I leave discussing the issue, because there's no point to continue. There's nothing I can do about it anymore and starting to call people names and stuff like that doesn't make it any better and surely it won't convince anybody!
Whether I continue to talk to people (about something else...) or not, depends on whether they still respect my point of view like I do respect theirs. I leave (as peacefully as possible!) as soon as I come to the conclusion that they are idiots or if I get the impression that they think I am. In any other case: Everything is ok!! [img]smile.gif[/img]

I must admit that I am rather curious about what site this is too. I AM a woman afterall. ;)

For what's it worth, I'll throw my two cents in. For my American friends that's half a cent in US dollars. :D

No matter the topic, or how heated it gets there is no excuse for being disrespectful irregardless of viewpoints. It is quite acceptable to engage in a debate with another person without having to be subjected to abusive comments.
Personally I wouldn't continue to post at such a place, nor would I stoop to their own level.