A Lawyer Named Strange

A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.

"Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer.

"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer''."

"But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.

"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

Spoon fed comedy!

From Paul Harvey Yesterday....

In Italy a young couple were making out in a car in some town. The cops noticed the car rocking around and the steamed windows. The couple were arrested for indecent exposure. The total age of the couple was 156!!!

Ah... more lawyer jokes. :D

What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.

And his son?

Bill.

Both the joke and Paul Harvey were funny. I'm interested in seeing TL's response to the joke, though :D

Just...shut up, ok? :D [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I try to only respond to *good* lawyer jokes. Of course I am an honest lawyer, and I'm strange, so....

[img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/outtahere.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/whackya.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/whipitgood.gif[/img]
That was a response i did NOT expect :eek:

I can't recall the source....But this was reported as a true story.

There was this Russian going home after a night of drinking. It was 30 degrees below zero. It seems that he had to releave himself behind a bus stop. Well in waving 'it' around 'it' got stuck to the metal of the bus stop. After some time he was rescued by someone witha a kettle of warm water. His only complaint was the suggestions of passers by on how to get free.

I have no idea if this is an Urban Legend or not.

[ 02-18-2003, 03:50 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ]

I try to only respond to *good* lawyer jokes. Of course I am an honest lawyer, and I'm strange, so....</font>[/QUOTE]Honest lawyer eh ? Then how do you explain this ?

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

[img]tongue.gif[/img] :D

so lawyers are liers eh? that's interesting.

Medical humor:

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"

At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again,
"Are my test results back???

MJ's Surgical Team...

http://www.humorweb.net/pictures/1000.jpg

Linky no worky

Linky no worky[/QB][/QUOTE]

Try cut and paste

I've seen this in several news sources. It may be an Urban Legend, but for what it's worth...

Least Competent People — The Merced (CA) Sun-Star reported that an unnamed man was taken to a hospital in Modesto after his head was split open by a brick. Police, called to the scene, were expecting to find foul play, but witnesses said the man was merely trying to see how high up he could throw a brick, and since it was dark (2:30 a.m.), the man lost track of the brick's flight and could not get out of the way when it came down on his head. Police said alcohol appeared to be involved.

DYING TO DIET
Jimi Hooker gives us the final word on nutrition and health:
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the Brits or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Brits or Yanks. The Italians drink huge amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer attacks than the above. The Germans drink a lot of beers and suffer fewer heart attacks than, etc., etc.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like — speaking English is what kills you.