Ugh, About 3 months ago I met a girl... who basicly is the greatest girl in the world... [img]smile.gif[/img] I fell so much in love with her and for some strange reason she also fell in love with me... how ever... she is from Germany and she told me she was here only for a short visit, but she'll be back in august...and is going to livehere for at least a year, so we decided not to make any commitments until then. But somehow I still managed to feel so attached to her.
So now it's been 3 weeks since she left and even if I talk to her almost everyday on Icq, and at least once a week on the phone, I miss her so damn much. and I won't see her for almost 6 months... and lots of things can happen in 6 months right?

Long distance relationships suck :(

Ah, the hegemony of the human hormone [img]smile.gif[/img]
The next six months will seem like forever for you. But in the grand scheme of things it's no time at all. Just hang in there buddy ;)

I'm guessing she's probably going through the same as you, and I'm willing to bet that you couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else right now, am I correct? If that's true, and she is feeling the same as you, then I can't think of anything that could come between you in 6 months.

They do say (whoever "they" are) that absense makes the heart grow fonder. Just think of how happy you'll be when you see her again [img]smile.gif[/img]

Or, you could do what I did at Christmas and go see her, although I imagine going to Germany would be a lot harder...

Don't get crazy, or when you do get back together, you both will have so much pressure on it and expect so much it'll backfire. Take it easy, keep in touch, 1 day at a time. I know how you feel: when I met my wife, before she was my wife, we were in college and after 3 weeks I went to Europe for 2 months for school, it was agony. I just picked up when I got back, but I didn't expect more or less, even though we talked and wrote the whole time.

Yeah, it's kinda the test of true love. If both of you can wait 6 months, then it's real. If you go into the "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" syndrome, it's not real, just overactive hormones, IMHO.

Two thoughts to offer on the relativity of time...

The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you find yourself...

Supposedly according to Albert Einstein, "Put your hand on a hot stove, and a minute feels like an hour. Spend time with someone you really care about, and an hour feels like a minute. That's relativity."

<font color=white>German women have something in them. [img]smile.gif[/img] You see, I couldn´t believe the coincidence when I saw this. I happen to be in a long distance relationship with a german woman as well. It harder than french kissing cobra sometimes, and requires a lot from both.

We haven´t seen for 6 months now, but I´m planning to go to germany in April.

Six months.. yes a long time it seems.. but time will fly if you just keep yourself busy. ;) </font>

[ 02-07-2003, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: NiceWorg ]

Ah thats nice to hear Worg... [img]smile.gif[/img] And well if what you wrote is true then these 6 months will pass by fast because we are both too busy to go for a visit earlier that August... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Good luck to you too [img]smile.gif[/img]

And the rest of you guys thanks for your advice [img]smile.gif[/img]

I know very good, what you feel!
Friendsickness is horrible!!!!! Im a german girl and at the moment Im in Brasil Im so long from everybody and Im missing them so much! Where is the german girl from. I live in a little city near hannover! Maybe she lives near me....
You ll feel this pain all the time, but you ll try to manage it as Im trying to do, wont you. This will only make your love stronger!

OMG!! [img]smile.gif[/img] My girlfriend lives in a little city near Hannover.. does Garbsen sound familiar to you?

[ 02-08-2003, 03:22 PM: Message edited by: NiceWorg ]

I have been in a serious long distance relationship for about eighteen months. It is very difficult and something you really have to be committed to and work at. Hang in there; you have my sympathies.

LD relationships are really tough. I really hope it works for you and something becomes of all of this.

I'm rooting for you

Michael

Hey Jorath! Long distance is really rough. I spent a year waiting for my sweetheart to come out this way and it was a very LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG year, no matter what the calendar said! :D You'll make it if you two keep in touch and talk about plans for when you get together again.

You westerners (I mean europe and USA people) care about moral relationship so much? It's surprising, don't misunderstood me I don't mean that you are all heartless, care only about sex and material people but for most of the western people that's the way it's. Love is above all in my opinion and faithfulness to person you love is really important. Sometimes I chat with western people they get shock with my style and I get shock with their ideas too:) I dont let my girl to wear mini skirt. and decolette is not in my book. That's the way it's in my opinion. We are man we gotta protect our woman. Our woman should work LESSER than us. It's us who gotta work more. But she'll make the cooking and ironing cleaning.

FIRST OF ALL, A WOMAN SHOULD BE A MOTHER BEFORE BEING A INDIVIDUAL PERSON.
What's individualism? Stupid career work economic independance?! if you cannot be a good mother then these all things are meanless

I'm not prohibitive but I'm protective I own, possess my woman. A woman who had many sex experiences before is not precious than a maiden girl. But for women, it's the opposite. Experienced man is more ideal.

We have to protect "family model". A world full of ally mc beals, couples without children will lead us to doomsday. Think about a family they are 4 people. They live in a house. Now think about 4 person who lives seperated think about the field they fill. It's x4! Their consuming, electric, square all is x4. We are destroying the world and now we are destroying ourselves. The future is in our hands.

I like you Zoltan .. but then again, Im 17 years old which would make me fit nicely in the derailed teenagers category .. so I'm not sure that's a good thing ;)

Though I doubt an individual suddenly uses just as much electricity as a
4-person large family. Well, maybe he just tries to fill the void somehow, but I still doubt it.
But maybe you've struck a point here, since most americans are overweight .. yeah .. they eat so much because they wanna fill up the void of being individual. No wonder you gain weight if you eat family-size stuff, it all makes sense now.

Your views on love are most definetly right and the way you respect a woman is too. But I guess we just interprete that respect differently.
You protect her out of respect and it has a very noble thought-pattern behind it, while we try to not protect her as much as possible out of respect for her individuality and equality ( quite a few woman dont like to be protected, want to stand up for themselves .
Both have the right principles behind them though.

(I still dont like emancipation though, stupid women keep hurting my feelings)

[ 02-08-2003, 08:27 PM: Message edited by: daan ]

does your advice include telling lies about other women's boyfriends because we don't really like that</font>[/QUOTE]Purre, ...this is the 4th thread I'm locking or having to post in, thanks to your rudeness. I know you're upset but trashing other people's threads isn't the way to go, believe me.

hang in there jorath, she will come to u soon [img]smile.gif[/img] ... okay, when i read zoltans view of woman, it kinda made me offended. for one thing, us guys dont own ANYBODY, God didnt put us on earth to pocess others, yes in the early part of this nations history we did have slaves, but that all ended a longtime ago. we dont own women.. what makes u think guys do?? being in a relationship works both ways, its not a one way street. if the relationship doesnt work it was lack of both parties not just one. to say that us westerners are just in it for the sex is just not right.. most men, like me, believe in a relationship full of love and trust. the other part believe in women as a play toy, use em and leave em, and that isnt right. when i meet the right one, i dont care if she has kids or not, experience or not, i will accept the person as a whole. u cant be putting yourself on a higher platform than others. nobody wants a guy who is so stuck on himself. neither does guys like that in women who think that as well.. QUIT BEING CHOOSY.. just let things happen.... ;)

Slavery was abolished in the western world a long time ago. Anybody coarse enough to speak of "owning" and "possessing" another human being is not really worth listening to. It's a shame you will never experience the joy of love between two people who consider each other equals.

I must also add that in my experience, men who espouse views such as Zoltan's tend to have a deep-seated fear and hatred of women, stemming from feelings of severe inadequacy. That is purely my personal experience, however.

My only regret about your post is that I wasted a whole 45 seconds of my life reading it

[img]graemlins/stunned.gif[/img]

[ 02-08-2003, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: Bardan the Slayer ]

atleast your still with her...*grumbleds about his *real* problems*...

I recognize what you're talking about, we westerners were like that once. We called it "the dark ages". We left that far behind us. women are allowed to think for themselves now. Does that scare you ?

What "real" problems are you talking about?

They also say "out of sight, out of mind" :D

geez, zoltan open a can of whoop#$% on himself.. heh heh...

Indeed, the notion of "posessing women" is not exactly gonna be popular on here :D

zoltan needs to grow up a lil more... i kinda feel sorry for the person he gets involve with...heh heh...

Sorry, I couldn't post here earlier, my man wouldn't let me. :D

And iffen you buy that one....I got a great Bridge in NY for sale....... ;)

Thanks for your comments friends:) sometimes it can be funny to enjoy cultural differences right? let me correct something, I dont mean man should possess women. I mean we should protect them. yes of course men and women are equal but only in law. In fact, we have to accept that we have some differences specially physical. I'm sure that many of you believe in a relationship full of love and trust. That's great. That's the way it must be. I disagree polygamous marriage too. But I mean if you're in love with somebody she's yours and you are yours too. We have to protect and love our women. They need it. We have to protect divison of labour in family. If mom is a full time business woman and the man is the same. what will happen!? family will collapse.

My fiance's brother went to england last year. When he's back he told us lots of things. He told us that in egland woman I mean mother may not cook food in home so she pays the dinner in outside when they go to dinner. That's horrible! Lots of couples tell each other what sexual experiences they had last summer. Faithfulness is really imporant in my opinion. to be belong to somebody.

Lets not forget 100% of all divorces are the result of marriage.
So I'm firmly against marrying all together [img]smile.gif[/img]

No, she's not 'yours'. she doesn't belong to you. She has the same rights to self determination that we do, and is perfectly free to find a job, get education, pay for dinner instead of cooking it, admit to past sexual experiences, without being judged bvadly because she has breasts.

Quote:

We have to protect and love our women. They need it.

Of course they do. I mean, every woman is inherently inferior to men, and couldn't possibly survive without us, could they? Sheesh.

Quote:

We have to protect divison of labour in family. If mom is a full time business woman and the man is the same. what will happen!? family will collapse.

Hmm ... apparently, the tens of thousands of successful relationships that are exactly like this prove you wrong.

Quote:

My fiance's brother went to england last year. When he's back he told us lots of things. He told us that in egland woman I mean mother may not cook food in home so she pays the dinner in outside when they go to dinner. That's horrible

When the day comes that a woman is judged because she can or cannot cook, then I will know the world has gone crazy. No, it's not horrible - it's normal. Women are not obligated to cook, and nor should they be. It is not a woman's 'job' to cook. women who can't cook are just as much women as those who can. Honestly, cooking? Cooking?

Quote:

Lots of couples tell each other what sexual experiences they had last summer. Faithfulness is really imporant in my opinion. to be belong to somebody.

Yes, faithfulness is important, but it is not unfaithful for a woman to relate to you that she has had past sexual experiences. Women who have had loads of sexual experience are just as much women as virgins are. A woman's sexual history is absolutely irrelevant. I don't know how it is in your culture, but here we don't feel threatened by the fact that women may have had sex with other men in the past.

Wiser words have yet to be spoken.
Now, I say, if she means that much to you, you should just wait up for her. If she's worth it, you can manage it.

too many light man in this forum [img]smile.gif[/img] )
I'm a hard macho man you're light man guys sorry [img]smile.gif[/img]

[img]graemlins/thewave.gif[/img] Tell 'em zoltan ! [img]graemlins/thewave.gif[/img]

LOL! Sorry, but you have it the wrong way around. Real men are not scared by the emancipation and independence of women. 'Light' men are those that regard women as property [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 02-09-2003, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Bardan the Slayer ]

Just a question, Zoltan. You spoke about cultural differences. I noticed in your profile that you live in Amsterdam. I know and have friends on the forums from the Netherlands and they do not seem to have the attitude towards women that you have. I really am just seeking information here to try to understand. What is your cultural back ground if I may ask?

Well, that just makes it easier for the women to leave. ;)

That's if you are thinking of women in the western world, Bardan. There are, in fact, places where a woman does none of the above without permission or orders from a male in her household. So I can see where, if Zoltan is from a culture where women's 'rights' are less well defined or in fact, more confined, he may not see things the same way we do and it may NOT be as common for him to think along these lines.

Having said that, I'll happily admit that I do prefer things as you posted...I'll pay for that takeout dinner if I decide to go get it tomorrow. ;) :D

Cloudy, this is why I made my post. Zoltan's place of residence is listed as Amsterdam. I only know of two----the one in the Netherlands and the one in the US. So, I am completely comfused by Zoltan's reference to cultural differences and asked him to explain further.

I do realize that what you said it true about many cultural difference from our own, and I am very open-minded about cultural differences, but still, I believe that some things are wrong thinking.

Used to (and may still occur) in China, girl babies were left outside to die of sarvation and exposure. (No, I am not picking on China, just the first example I thought of.) This was a cultural difference, but it was also wrong.

Relagating women to a position of inferiority to men is a cultural difference true---but it is also wrong.

Amsterdam (Netherlands) is a very cosmopolitan area so I wouldn't be surprised if he comes from a different background but lives in that city. Then again, Zoltan, what culture is it that you are talking about in your posts? Asian, Middle Eastern? Another?

BTW, sorry Jorath, we seem to be completely off topic here and we can move this to another thread if needs be.

Coming from the Netherlands myself, I know that Amsterdam is a kinda multi-cultural city, as are a lot of cities here in Holland. He could be Asian, he could be from the Middle East, or from Marocco. I haven't got the faintest clue, but I respect what he says. It's always difficult to 'understand' one another's culture, IMHO.

im just using your post as a reference "Bardan the slayer" but im not singling you out since there are many post similar to yours and i hate to quote all of them. [img]smile.gif[/img]

it all depends on culture... in a way i agree and disagree with zoltans post. actually there are many cultures wherein women are treated somehow like that. i for one am an open minded individual, yet many in my culture speak of this the same way. some women here accept it, others not. it is a changing society especially in a conservative society. conservative people dont like casual sex while liberal does. i have a cousin actually who was from australia who married a muslim. many think her rights downgraded since there were so many restrictions imposed by the husband (since he is somehow a fundamentalist and follows muslims law and religion by the book). i guess she didnt mind when she married him. now they have 4 little girls [img]smile.gif[/img] ). there are many other cultures like that and dont think that since thier culture is different than yours, you will be biased in a way. you may disagree or agree but it is happening and other poeople accept it and live with it. btw, its getting off-topic. :D lets bring it back to the original subj. [img]smile.gif[/img]