"The Fear Of Public Speaking"

:evillaugh:

In all seriousness though, I could not come up with a topic for a speech I have to deliver TOMORROW (!!!) until I watched others giving theirs yesterday and it hit me like a, well, like a really heavy thing. ;)

I figure I can use it as an informative subject, not just to ease myself into having the class as my audience for the semester but also to commend, in a way, a couple of people who had problems with theirs yesterday and to help boost the confidence of a couple of people who will deliver theirs on Friday...people who are extremely, extremely shy.
I think making it personal between myself and (for the most part) certain individuals in the class will be a big step for me to make eye contact during a speech...I don't have a problem being social but speeches give me stagefright lol.

Wish me luck!

Oh Lord, public speaking...let's see, something like 10% of my GCSE grade depends on a presentation i have to make in front of my english grade...and 3/4 of them have bullied me or still do at some point. I'm not too thrilled.
Good luck, honey, you'll do MUCH better than me.

OMG i would never had the nerve to hold a speech in front of many peoples but i wish you darn good luck Moni [img]tongue.gif[/img]

You know, I read somewhere that most people are more afraid of public speaking than they're afraid of death. They rank Public Speaking higher on the stress level than they do thoughts of dying. [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img]

Personally, I think it's a noble topic, and one worth considering. Best of luck to you!

-Sazerac

[ 09-17-2002, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: Sazerac ]

Thanks guys!

I think I have convinced myself that I am going to do well (in spite of my own fear) and yes, Saz, the fear of speaking in public and the fear of death are the top 2 fears in America...it just depends on who you ask as to which comes out on top. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Kaltia, I have every confidence in you! You're a bigger person than the bullies you know :D
*hugs*

Well, I need to get the outline ready to turn in and I have bunches of homework to do today (and a big exam to keep studying for on Friday) so I probably won't see you all again until tomorrow. (hoping I can drop in later but that all depends on how quick I get busy right now LOL)

Thanks again!
[img]graemlins/ladyhearts.gif[/img]

LOL Good luck Minno. :D

Good luck, Moni, ignore that ill-placed LOL of johnny's *tosses johnny an iced tea* and thanks for your own encouragement *hugs* you'll do fantasticly [img]smile.gif[/img] be sure to tell us how it goes, k? [img]smile.gif[/img]

Guess I'm one of the ones who makes up the smaller percent of those who don't mind it. [img]smile.gif[/img] As long as I know my audience and my subject, I don't mind being in front of a crowd to deliver a talk. I've been a reader and teacher off and on at Church for many yearas now, and you get over being bothered by people following your every word pretty quickly! [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img]

I remember in our theater classes in College- we used to have to do individual and group presentations and I really liked that part of the class once I had a topic chosen or plan of action.

Here at work, I used to have to address groups of HS students visiting us for Spoken Russian competitions each spring and there could be anywhere from 300-600 of them plus the chaperones and teachers.

Just think of it as a one on one event, it goes pretty smoothly!

good luck, Moni!

[ 09-17-2002, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

Whatever you do, DO NOT picture the people you are speaking to NAKED. Tried it.
Can you spell B-I-G failure or shall I? What a disaster. Never doing that again. :( Totally mumbled my words cos I was trying to picture the 50 year old at the back.

Agreed, Cloudy! As a teacher, my entire career revolves around "public speaking." I remember when I first started teaching; I didn't know who I was more afraid of, my class or my supervisor. I finally had to psyche myself out and put my nose to the grindstone. I was only 22 at the time and I was teaching a class of students most of whom were my age or older, so that's why I was so worried. It worked; turned out they were more afraid of me than I was of them, and after we reassured each other, we got along fine. Now making a public speech is little or nothing to me, after 16 years of doing it five days a week, 6 hours a day. ;)

Cheers,
-Saz

Good luck!

Well just take my word for it that ALL people are afraid to a certain extent to speak in public.

Even those people that do it on a daily basis...
Use the stressfactor as a positive influence!@

I think public speaking holds more fear for some people because after you give a nervous speech, you may get heckled. On the other hand, when you die, they may heckle you afterwards, but you're not around to hear it! ;)

Mark

[ 09-17-2002, 06:06 PM: Message edited by: skywalker ]

It might sound an easy or glib statement, but look to be passionate about your topic. The more connected you are with your topic the better you are going to deliver your message. Cut out bits that you think come over as phony or are just fillers or transition. Look at the task in the manner that "you have information that they need to know". Convince yourself that the topic is going to be somthing that people are going to want to listen to, as opposed to something they have to listen to.

The more you see your speech as being the important communication device, and that people are going to want to listen to you then the calmer you will be. Look for the reasons why yourtopic is important.

<font color = lightgreen>Having once been quite nervous about speaking in front of people, I found only one method for improving my speaking performance and calming my nervousness--get up and speak in front of people. [img]graemlins/1ponder.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] The best way to get over that fear is to just do it.

Well, it worked for me, at least. [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img] </font>

Good luck Moni!

Good Luck Moni, I'm sure you will do just fine. I haven't publicly spoke since high school, and it didn't really bother me at all because I just made sure that I a)Was confident in what I was going to say and the subject matter at hand, and b) Practiced, practiced, practiced to where I could talk it in my sleep, smiles, emphasises (or emphases? plural? blah don't you be gettin out that dictonary LOL), gestures and all. I think the eye contact thing you mentioned is a good idea, I think it will help you feel more comfortable, and also make your speech better and more personable as well :

(Smoke break!) :D

Thank you all for wishing me luck and for offering your advice.
Skywalker, your comment on dropping dead had me busting a gut!
[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
So true!

Cloudy, I used to read to a church congression during Christmas pageants without a problem...I was proud of how I could read scripture and bring people to tears. I never had to look them in the eye though and address them as a group or as individuals...I could just read with feeling. :D
I admire people who are comfortable with it. It really shows a lot of confidence in yourself! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Horatio, LMAO, no, that idea never crossed my mind...I intend to look at them as friends. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Hexa,
Stress factor implemented into humor...as informative as I have to be, i still plan on allowing myself room for comedy. I think it will serve to help all of us who have a real problem with it.

Davros,
Thank you for your wonderful advice! This is indeed a subject which hits home for me AND for some of my classmates! I've practiced it with Rex and he says it all sounds natural and that I have the right gestures down :D I tried to word it in my own natural way of addressing the class as my friends and I think if I can memorize my cues I'll have it down pat without having to refer to my notes to "remember what I was saying" if you know what I mean [img]smile.gif[/img] Your advice will definitely stay with me for future speeches (5 or 6 in all) and I am grateful that you took the time to relate to me *hugs*

Azred,
That is exactly the approach I m taking with it. [img]smile.gif[/img] I know that once I get through this first one, the rest will become easier. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Ladyzekke,
The dictionary is safely tucked away in my book bag. ;)
Unfortunately the eye contact is required, otherwise I don't think I would be so afraid.

I'll be wearing a little make-up tomorrow...maybe some slacks and a blouse (with knee hi's and low pumps) to take my appearance up a notch or two as well (the norm is jeans, a variety of T's or blouses and sandals or closed suede shoes)...I want to look like I am trying too. [img]smile.gif[/img]
I got the impression that the instructor prefers suck-ups over people with confidence since she shot me down with a thesis statement that was worded not very differently (other than subject matter) than another woman's (who sucks up) that she gave absolute praise to. I am socially comfortable and confident in myself whereas she is an actress and I believe her form of instruction is all hidden behind that mask...another girl in class that she chose to degrade by scribbling her original thesis all out feels the same way and that girl has extreme self confidence without being stuck up if you know what I mean...a senator in the Student Government even, someone who has been doing this kind of stuff for years now! It'd sucked if she was that petty for reals but she did put the both of us in middle to last speaking positions in the semester schedule before she told us all that those were the positions that (throughout the semester) would be graded the harshest....what hurts about that the most is that she put the really really shy guy who sits at my table last on all counts like being so shy puts him at dirt level. Humility is not a good teacher when it is being dished out by someone other than yourself.
I can't stand her already LOL.
Anyway, I think I am all set. I just need to highlight my cues and "memorize" what I had written after them. :D

Here is my speech...timed at near 5 minutes it should make the grade if I can deliver it properly and if she is not offended that I am taking her piddly lecture on the subject far enough to actually make a difference to people! ;)

What is in parentheses is NOT on the outline I am turning in to her and the first three or four words will be highlighted for me to connect with in "reference" and keep the topic flowing...what IS in parentheses has the option to be worded at my leisure as long as I get the same point across...she will be following me at the other end of the room with the outline minus all the extra and she demanded that we turn that in with the Introduction and the Conclusion in full so there's no way out of ad-libbing those LOL!

Try to imagine seeing it in proper college outline format LOL and hear it coming from a friendly but frightened person who apparently knows when to make the right gestures LOL. I know exactly who to look at when stressing my points to overcome the fear of public speaking (and with honest, from the heart feeling in what I am saying).

Purpose: To inform the class of some of the realities of the fear of speaking in public.
Thesis: By examining the physical manifestations of the fear of public speaking and understanding some insight into why we have it and what we can do about it we can, with practice, rid ourselves of it.

I. Introduction
A. If there were an Association for those who fear public speaking, I would be the Secretary. (if I were the president, I wouldn’t be here, I’d be hiding in a bathroom stall staring at my watch so I would know when the opportunity to speak was gone and I could come out)
B. Fear of public speaking has been rated as one of the number one fears among Americans, vying for the top position only with the fear of death. It is associated with social phobias, social anxiety, and stage fright.
1. My experience with this fear is so extensive that I can honestly tell you that this is my first formal public speech.
2. I am presenting this subject to you in order to offer useful information that you can benefit from if you suffer from it too.
C. I am going to cover some of the known physical effects that being afraid to address an audience can have. I will also provide you with some helpful insight that you can apply to yourself if you feel like you need it

II. Body
A. The fear of public speaking can and does manifest itself physically in several ways;
a. Shortness of breath (check!)
b. The inability to speak (well I am obviously managing to speak so no check there!)
c. A shaky voice (check stance unknown lol)
d. Rapid breathing (No, I am too mellow to hyperventilate)
e. Rapid heartbeat (check!)
f. Sweating (palms~check!)
g. Nausea (check!)
h. The ability for one’s face to express twenty shades of red in four to 6 minutes. (Someone will have to inform me afterwards if I need a check here too)

B. There are ways of learning to overcome the fear of public speaking.
a. moved to h. which is really g lol
b. Understanding that the fear of public speaking is not naturally stressful. (We all develop it for our own personal reasons and they don’t have to include social phobias or social anxiety. As some of you know, I am a rather social person and would not have necessarily expected me to have this fear but the truth is I suffer from stagefright when I am not acting spontaneously)
c. Knowing that we need not be rocket scientists to succeed (is just a big bonus! As an elementary major I would surely fail.)
d. Humor can help alleviate the stress and connect us with our audience. (all of us can relate to humor provided it isn’t coming from far outer space. It helps create a more comfortable atmosphere between you and the audience)
e. Humility. (slight pause for effect ;) ) Humility gives us the chance to realize our own strengths and increase our own personal pride (when we stand up in front of others and share our frailties, our weaknesses and our mistakes.)
f. Understanding we cannot control our audience can make the task of public speaking an easier one (when we accept that:
1. Some people naturally fidget. I am one of them. Given the opportunity, my own mother will, to this day, remind me of what bad marks I received in grade school for not being able to just sit still!
2. Others will daydream, so deeply that a chocolate cake held under their nose wouldn’t snap them out of it right away.
3. Some people will talk amongst themselves either about or in spite of their interest in our subject.)

g. Knowing that the speeches we give are intended to share knowledge and ideas with a goal of success for ourselves and for each other. (In this class we share the courage it takes to come up here and deliver speeches with restrictions on the time we are given to speak and with all attention focused on us. We know that this class is designed to give us a better understanding of public speaking and there really is no better audience for some of us to start with than each other. I am grateful to have all of you as my audience this semester because I trust that with your honest and objective opinions of how well I do up here I can leave it a success and I know that we can all make it successful for each other.)

h. Practice. (practice! practice!) (Not enough can be said about practice! Even if you have to practice alone, just hearing yourself say your speech out loud gets you more comfortable with what you want to say)

III. Conclusion
A. This speech has been intended to bring the physical manifestations of this fear out into the open so that we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves for having them and to offer some ways of understanding how we need not let them control us forever.
B. Thank you for allowing me to be human and thank you for scaring me half to death!

[ 09-20-2002, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Moni ]

Good luck with your speech Moni. Or is it hope your speech went well? [img]tongue.gif[/img] If i'm not to late just remember not to start with Okay or Alright. Teachers/Proffessors *hate* that. 10 points off but an otherwise good speech. [img]smile.gif[/img] I took a speech and drama class once but *surprise* talking in front of people still makes me nervous. :rolleyes:

Good Luck Princess...You'll do just fine! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Mark

Not to late Reddblueflare! KHaN's snoring has had me awake for about an hour now so I decided to drop in here before starting my day. Thank you!

Skywalker,
[img]graemlins/ladyhearts.gif[/img]
Thank you so much!

I did edit a couple of mistakes I had left in my own copy of my outline when I posted it here. It reads a little easier and leaves me room to kill an extra 45 seconds discussing ways to and the benefit of practice since we were told (after the first speeches on Monday) that we have to get as close to 6 minutes as we can...of course going over gets our grades docked so THERE'S NO PRESSURE THERE! ;)

Ugh, what a stupid way this could turn out to be to mess up my GPA LOL!

I debated, so I really don't hate speaking in public. I like it actually :D But good luck to you, Moni! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] you can do it!

Thank you Link!!

AFTERNOON UPDATE!

I delivered my speech in a worse state of nervousness than I had anticipated but it worked out to my advantage considering the topic LOL! (Oh yeah, shaky voice...at times...CHECK! ;) ) I had to laugh at myself at one point and mention how grateful I was that someone had moved the full podium over as opposed to using the music stand which normally stands in the speaking area because my legs were shaking so bad that I cracked up laughing. (turn another shade of red here LOL)

I not only got applause...I got CHEERS! The class absolutely loved the speech lol. The instructor did have to prompt me once to speak up (when at a point I got comfortable speaking to the front of the class) so there are some points off there and I ran it over time by 30 seconds so there is another minus to my grade (someone else went over 3 minutes though so I am not stressing it).
The lady who I said earlier is kind of a suck up got an 82 on her speech so if I get a 75 I'll be happy. [img]smile.gif[/img]
1 down, 5 to go. :D

So has anyone figured out why some threads "stick" to their position on the page when a reply is posted to them?

Glad it all worked out Moni LOL! I hope you beat the suck up! :D

Checking this stickage you mentioned-bump!

Congrat's Moni! If you're not sure your speech went well, there's nothing better to hear than people cheering for you! :D I suggest you keep your speech saved someplace safe just incase you have to give another one in another class! Recycling is the way to go! Remember that! Good job Moni! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Just don't be so nervous next time! ;)

Thanks Redblueflare!
I was definitely stunned AND Flattered! The applause is kind of expected as everyone gets some for every speech they deliver but to hear it so loud and with cheering and then to see most all of those people looking at me like I...I don't even know how to describe the looks in their faces except to say that they were very happy for me and proud of me LOL. It was a most welcome surprise!!!

I only have to take this one class for formal speech but I tell you what...for someone who has never given one and is scared of it, the one I put together is a great one to start with!

I was talking with my Biology/Nutrition professor about it before I went to give it...she cracked up laughing and told me there was no way I could blow it with that topic and my fear of public speaking combined. She was right LOL.

One of the girls in my Math class was looking over at it while I was reading over it this morning (our instructor was late) so I let her read it and she shared it with two other girls nearby...they all liked it too which was just more confidence for me going into it and they gave me some pointers on breathing if my fright started to get out of hand...later on, in our orientation class (same subject, just with a tutor for another 50 minutes to make sure we understand it all) they were all very happy for me that I got through it so well.

My popularity there is like, out of the twilight zone LOL...most everyone knows me and they all seem to really like me....nothing at all like my High School days...I mean people I've never seen before come up to me and ask me about these classes we have together and it embarrasses the hell outta me that I don't know them...I even have a 19 year old kid with either a crush on me or hanging out with me because it gets him noticed LOL.
Its a whole new and weird (but very likable!) world. :D

I can't wait to see what kind of grade I get on the speech so I know how I can deal with the weird lady we have for a speech instructor lol.
I'll probably be somewhat frightened right up until the last speech but I do have the feeling that it'll get easier as I go along...I also have the feeling she is going to expect that of me as well...to prove to her what a great instructor she is LOL. Maybe I ought to sign up for one of her acting classes? ha ha ha no
;)

Nice job, Princess!

At least you didn't get heckled!!! [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img]

Mark

Thank you SO MUCH Ladyzekke! I won't get upset if I don't outscore the suck up but Thanks LOL! (It'd be nice if I did! [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img] )

I don't know what is up with threads sticking sometimes when I reply to them...it doesn't happen all the time and I know I am not the only one who has noticed it...I just wondered if anyone has figured it out yet...new thread topic perhaps? I wonder if Ziroc even knows it has been happening?

I dunno!!!!!

Thanks again!
*hugs*

LOL! No I didn't! The one guy in class that sits up front enough (on one side) where he could have seen my knees shaking had chosen the moment prior to my speech to leave the class room and couldn't come back in until I was finished!! BONUS!!!!!
He is a big mouth and a tattle tale who told the instructor what people did with their hands behind their back when the music stand was the podium and told on a girl today for swaying behind the big podium...she (the girl, and a good friend of mine lol) pointed at him and said loud enough for me to hear at the back of the room "YOU need to just go sit in the back!" I was so glad he missed my knees shaking and she just cracked me up! After class there were high fives all around for the both of us LOL.
[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
He would have made fun of me at the end of the class when all of our speeches were being discussed, I am sure of it. *whew!*

LOL! No I didn't! The one guy in class that sits up front enough (on one side) where he could have seen my knees shaking had chosen the moment prior to my speech to leave the class room and couldn't come back in until I was finished!! BONUS!!!!!
He is a big mouth and a tattle tale who told the instructor what people did with their hands behind their back when the music stand was the podium and told on a girl today for swaying behind the big podium...she (the girl, and a good friend of mine lol) pointed at him and said loud enough for me to hear at the back of the room "YOU need to just go sit in the back!" I was so glad he missed my knees shaking and she just cracked me up! After class there were high fives all around for the both of us LOL.
[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
He would have made fun of me at the end of the class when all of our speeches were being discussed, I am sure of it. *whew!*</font>[/QUOTE]Congrats on your speach Moni!

This guy sounds like a big loser with huge self image issues. Making fun of people in a pub speaking class? Everyone is in the same uncomfortable boat, what a pogue. Face it, the only way to get good at pub speaking is to .... do it. I had a pub speaking block of instruction with the Army, not one of the LTs dared rag on anyone for slipping up. I guess I'm finding it hard to believe that a tattle tale hasn't grown up by college....

Nice speach though and CHEERS [img]graemlins/cheers.gif[/img]

My wife was a member of Toastmasters for several years and she had to make lots of speeches every year. You weren't allowed to use "ah, um, err" and other words like that...for each of the members speeches they appointed an "ah" counter and the number was recorded to see if you got better.

Dubya could use a membership at Toastmasters, though I would not want to be the "Ah" counter at any of his public appearances! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Mark

Thank you Night Stalker!
The guy has an ego, that's for sure! He's a swim instructor and very self conficent when in the public eye. As much as I would have hated to have him point and laugh, I can feel good that as nervous as my own speech was, it was stilll better than his. He intended to inform us on the benefits of teaching a young child to swim but ended up comparing different swimming strokes from beginners and experts. The instructor very politely ripped him a new one if you know what I mean. ;) :D

Mark,
I did catch myself saying "Um" once yesterday LOL...it was when I realized how bad my knees were shaking and I laughed...it was in the first part of the body where I was "checking off" (on myself lol) the physical manifestations that the fear has on people...I looked down and laughed (one of those honest bursts of a belly laugh lol) and then thought they might all think a sudden outburst of unexplained laughter was among the symptoms and feeling like I have to explain caught me off guard...I had to though since they couldn't see my legs shaking...I kid you not, it was like trying to balance on 2 blocks of wobbling Jell-O from the knees down! They laughed too once they knew why I did. :D

I did notice how bad the sounds make an otherwise good speech! My friend's notes (printed out on one of the library PC's) came out all screwed up and she had a tough time following them. She's the one who went 3 minutes over. Other than saying Um quite a few times, she did very well though.

<H1> <font color=#FCFF05>OMG!
I got a
95!!!!!</H1> </font color=#FCFF05>