<font color=skyblue>

My aim of life is a lil story by itself. It started with being targets set by my parents. Little things like exams and getting into a good uni, but deep down i always had my own and that is love, to find true love and to sacrifice all in the search for this. Sadly this made me too objective at social occasions. And my stories of love became almost like the sports i play and the things i do. Too objective. Sure I enjoyed it for what it is, but i treated it like chess. My aim was to have it last forever and i sacrificed all for it. Just like chess's aim is to capture the king at ALL costs. And I realised that I shouldn't have an aim in a relationship. Ofcourse one wonders whether this is the one, that is inevitable, but you shouldn't purposefully target this. Well after this I talked to my dad and now i partially look at things differently (perhaps more maturely) when my head is clear.
He said that dating is fine but keep it to enjoyment. Ofcourse it should be devoted pure love but know when to start and when to end. He said I need to be able to cope being single and enjoy the freedom and use it! My aim should be on maximizing my career. He said that i never had a final career goal and this fell into the natrual default of a family goal. He said that the family goal is something you shouldn't think about. It will come natrually along as long as you do the right things.
He said that as long as i work hard and graduate with a 1st class from Cambridge, then the world is my oyster (yuck! :D ) and with a vision i am an eagle without bounds. He said being married is something I should avoid thinking about so early on. It is the bird inside a golden cage. From the outside it looks so wonderful but from the inside the bird would rather be fighting for its life free in the world.
Before my life was driven by one thing. To make the girl i love happy, which means exercising and having a good body, be a nice person and having lotza money (ooooooo shopping is so important! :D :D ). Money means a good job better tahn what everyone else has and means I have to work hard for it. But now I seem to have lost all that. I know it makes very little sense but it's so much easier to work with an objective. Rather than to think that: well the objective is there you just don't have it. :(
Reeka once told me to be patient and "for god sake you are only 19!" but i keep talking to so many lovely and caring yet single friends on the net and i fear i will end up single (because it's not for me). My dad just laughed and is convinced that I am worrying over the most trivial of things. However, I fear doesn't quite understand just how important true love is. I am always under the impression that true love is as rare as blue gold and blue roses (why are blue things so rare?). What does everyone else think?
Also I think too much. I never express my true feelings in the fear of being outcast and rejected. I don't know....
This week I even forgot to collect my pay from work... there seems to be no urgency in my life. Before i didn't have enough money now I have too much. Guess I'll just start saving [img]smile.gif[/img]
i don't know what else to say really....
hey just looking for pointers...
sorry this is so boring....
I gotta go now....
btw, is it a poo poo idea to post so much about me on here.... i don't really mind that much but feel a bit exposed emotion wise.. [img]smile.gif[/img] be gentle on me :D
</font>

...

Hmm

You ask for answers people die pndering Avatar.
No one can tell you what is the best for you. We can ofer advice and experiences, but it all comes down to one thing. For YOU to act on them.

Personally I think that true love is a great idea but I don´t think it is something for me, not yet. Life is a bit weird sometimes you know and there are many lines to cross and soo many choices that only to think about them can make you blunder and fall to far in each direction.

So, get to know yourself, then act accordingly to who you find yourself to be.

Good luck

You say blue things are rare, i don't agree on that. I used to go to F.C. Den Bosch matches on sundays, and there i watched eleven blue things walking on the field every time. They did a good job at making me feel sick too. :D

Avi Avi Avi, take it from someone who is married with children. The only true love will probably ever find is the love you will have for your children. We as a race put far to much value on that emotion, mind you it is a great and powerful thing, it has raised and destroyed kingdoms and societies. But you need to stay focused, look at it through your periferal(sp) vision so to speak and not directly. Love comes and love goes and sometimes it lifts us to great height's and other times it will dash your dreams against jagged rock's. But Wolfie had a good point, you need to love yourself first and then you will be able to love another the way you want to. ;) Relationship's take work and it isnt always 50/50 sometimes it is 60/40 or 90/10, it is life my friend and life is not easy. Dont know if this makes sense or even help's any.
Godd Luck Avi :D

Hi Avatar--You are obviously someone who feels things very deeply. IMHO, go for the true love. This is the sort of stuff that makes life worth living. Thoreau spoke of the tragedy of "dying, only to find that you have never lived."
Sure you are still young--that's no guarantee that you'll live to be 20 (not to be morbid). "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." Just one thing--lose the expectations. If you expect your dreamgirl to look or be a certain way, your true love could walk right past you. Don't settle. Be open to love--it will find you. I've dated lots of guys, and only a few made me feel what you're looking for. It is definitely worth it! YOu asked for advice, this is my two cents.

Hey buddy, all I can say is don't live for your parents. You have to live for and love yourself if you want to be anywhere near happy. Sure your parents can help point you in a direction, but it's ultimately you who has to live with the consequences, so you'd better be happy with the decisions you've made that lead to those consequences. Love is great and money is great. You say you want money to help find love? While money can help you go on good dates, it won't help you find love. Financial security can help ease tension in a relationship, but it won't help you find a relationship worth having.

The most important thing is to be driven by your desire for success. Don't depend on someone else to offer you motivation to live your life. If you do, then you are essentially living your life for that other person and that is dangerous both to you and your relationship.

<font color=skyblue> yeah... thanks guys i guess i am just 1st time loosers eh? I was so in love that i lost myself and i stopped loving myself for who i am, and the girl i live for stopped too...
Time to return to the old me [img]smile.gif[/img]

Good morning everyone [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm back.... a tad less silly :D </font>

Thats life, tough to understand, but if you strive to understand yourself, even the painful experiencies give you something in the end. As long as you don´t turn to bitter Avi.

All scares define where yu been and tells you who you are, cause they are the proof of a choice made.

I have a bit of a philosophy about life which is this:
There were people on the Titanic who turned away the sweet trolley

Life is for living. Above all, aim for what makes you happy. It is different for every individual. For some it might be ice-cream in the park on a sunny day, for others it might be to have children, others might want a career at a job they enjoy. No-one else can tell you what should make you tick.

BUT - don't spend your life wishing you had reached that goal and wasting the current moment. Enjoy the little things that make you happy. Laugh a lot. Have fun. Don't dwell on what may happen next week or next year. Life is short, so enjoy whatever you've got right now, take any opportunities that come up.

Well Avatar I would suggest that your father is both right and wrong (although he's wrong for the right reasons ;) ).

He's right to say that you shouldn't concentrate on love as your sole goal in life, especially at such a young age (since you're still in school I assume your <20). There is much to be experienced as a single person in this world that is worth doing. Travel, Adventure, Many many women in every color shape and size, and living your life with responsibility only to yourself... it's all worth experiencing in my opinion.

On the other side, your father is trying to get you to focus on your career and long term success. This is how ANY father will try to get his kids to walk down a path with the highest probability of yielding a successful life. BUT... Money and Career do not necessarily a happy life make. My career is going gangbusters right now and yet my life is in as tough a spot as it's ever been. Always remember that your first responsibility is to be true to WHO YOU ARE, and that there are as many miserable rich people as there are miserable poor people.

Staying in shape is a worthy goal... but don't do it for someone else, do it for yourself.

Having money gives you many options, but be VERY suspicous of any woman who's too enamored of your wallet.

I like the term "constructive self-interest", do things for yourself that make you a better person, or enrich your life... not to attract a partner to an illusion of yourself you've constructed around all these THINGS.

Finally... regarding LOVE. Always be aware that what we all as youth think of as idealistic LOVE is a hormone induced illusion. It's a cruel trick our bodies play on us to try to get us to PROCREATE. It gets us to choose a partner with the best of intentions, and go about building a nest together. It also quickly fades, there are as many song's out there about this part of the game as about the fun part. TRUE love is HARD, it's dedication to another when you can plainly see all the ugly in them, and you know that they can see all the ugly that you've tried to hide from the world. It's staying when EVERY FIBER in your being is screaming at you to run. It's living with someone that you occasionally HATE, occasionally LOVE, and VERY OFTEN want to strangle and hug at the same time. In the end it's much more powerful than the hormone induced version, becuase its REAL, it reaches into you and changes you more than you could ever imagine changing... without so much as a "by your leave". Don't jump into it lightly, and don't do it purely based on some feeling of "True Love"... do it because YOU'RE ready to take everything you know and are, and turn it upside down.

Quite right too, money can't buy you love!
Actually I tend to view with slight suspicion people who think of money as the be all and end all. I work to earn enough money to fund the things I like doing, not to get a lot of money, it's a means to an end not the end itself. I certainly would never (and have never) considered money or material possessions important in choosing who to get involved with. Generally I prefer blokes who come from similar social background to me, how can you have any empathy with someone who simply has no conception of your life experiences? So a fat wallet or posh accent would actually put me right off.

<font color=skyblue> Oh you people make me all fuzzy giving such heart warming advice. A [img]graemlins/tgestar1.gif[/img] to all of you who bothered to read my problematic post and *huggies* to the wonderful responces i get!
*sigh* Suddenly i feel i have matured actually it's around 11am this morning GMT but i know i will oscillate between the two... eventually loosing the dreams i once had. *sigh* i guess love is not what i thought it is.
No i walk around with a shadow in my heart... i don't know how long it will last but i am afraid to say the words i love most and most of all afraid to give my heart out again.
Perhaps when i meet a girl i like i won't give all this a 2nd thought but right now i feel pretty blue. (P.S. BLUE IS RARE!)
Who know what the future heralds and i can make these sweeping glorious wise sounding statements all day... but the truth is deep down i feel the sorrow. The smile i have is a sad one. I drift like a sad mist upon the morning tides.
Soon I will start writing sad pop songs :D
yesterday someone took £200 off me because of a road accident. I don't really care... no one else to spend the money on.
I feel my life has lost a purpose....
Although I have matured and although it is better for me in the long run... i feel awful at times. I mean today is better and I have laughed and smiled... haven't done that for weeks. But does anyone else get lonely in bed? The times when you just about to close your eyes and the moments when you open your eyes....
Having a lover gives you a target.... BRING FOOD TO FEED FAMILY!
i know it's primitive and not something a 19 year old should think about
but i do....
</font>

We are the children of Man,
Heirs to sickness and destruction.
Creators of Wilful Evil on an unimaginable scale done by brothers unto brothers,
From the beginning of our time until the end,
Technology and “progress” only increases the scale of the suffering we create.
We are creatures of pain, Born in others' suffering and perish in our own.
Suffering, misery, pain, doubt, and perpetual uncertainty is the human Condition,
Life is not Happy or nice, and never was meant to be or will be, It's a pointless exercise with an only a definite end and beginning.
But remember that pressure can make Diamonds.
We are humans and shall endure, At least for a while.

I found that finding love was like finding my car keys: When you really realy absolutly need them, they're not around, but once you stop looking and move on, BLAMO! there they are, right under your nose.

For 10 years I had been with who I thought was the love of my life. We enjoyed everything together, music, movies, books, etc. Everything in common. 2 years ago she left me. I picked myself up, told myself I wasn't going to be in a relationship anytime soon, that I was just going to maybe date for while...then BLAMO! 4 months later I met a person who've I've been with ever since. She hates my music, doesn't like to read, knows nothing about Lance Armstrong and cycling, does not know about American Football, and barely tolerates the movies I like. My god I am in love. And she loves me.