What do you guys think about having Internet friends? Lately, I have made quite a few friends at IW, most (if not all), of which I will never meet. Outsiders would think it sad that we sit at our computers talking to strangers, while the real world passes us by. They say the standard things, like “How do you know you’re not talking to some dirty old man?” and “Don’t you think you should spend some time doing something worthwhile, and meet some real people?”

Should I care as much that Lady Blue failed her driving test yesterday (in America!)? Should I care that Downunda finally got a job, and seems to be enjoying it (in New Zealand!)? Should it matter to me that Cloudy’s Grandmother is sick? I do think about these things! My other friends and family members certainly think that’s weird!

It’s got me thinking! Is this a good thing? Is it healthy? Are we just wasting our time? What do you think?

Avi.

I think that sadly, IW is kind of a time waste. The only thing it develops is my typing skills.

I don't think it's a waste of time Avi, most people you speak with here are nice and worth the time imo. And who knows, maybe you DO meet some of us when time comes. A lot of people around here already did ! :D

Well, the people I meet here are more intelligent than the ones I encounter in RL, and I learn more from posts here than from the people I know in RL. Besides, I can't see what's harmful, it's a place where you won't be discriminated because of anything physical, because you don't have to reveal it. Besides the occasional heated debate or troll, it's a nicer place than RL.

I've met good friends on IW, and not too long ago I even met one of them in RL [img]smile.gif[/img]

Well, I can say several things about this:

1) People who usually carp about people being online and "missing out on the real world" don't seem to have any problem with plopping their arses in front of the TV and zoning out for several hours. It makes you wonder, who's REALLY "out of touch"?

2) I have just as many RL friends and activities as I did before I got online. IW, like the rest of the Internet, is simply an extension of that, not a replacement.

3) I'd say I have plenty of REAL friends that I've made here and at other forums. And it is human nature to care about people.

Aviendha, most of the detractors of online activity have either heard a bunch of garbage about it from the media and have probably never engaged in it before. All they hear are the horror stories about chat rooms where 11-year-old girls are propositioned by 40-something perverts posing as 12-year-old boys. That's not to say that such things don't happen, but to hear the media go on about it, you'd think that's all the Internet consists of. But there's no convincing them otherwise.

So, if it brings you pleasure, and it's not harming anyone else, and you feel like you're benefiting from it, then don't worry about what others say. I have a feeling, if you'd look closely at their lives, they have little justification to "throw stones".

Cheers,
-Sazerac

Actually, Estonian chatrooms are *FULL* of that s**t.. that`s why i hate chatrooms.. unless its on IW [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Btw, Sazerac, Nice and big and shiny post you made there [img]smile.gif[/img] .

THere is really nothin wrong with friends from long distance places. Is there anything wrong with pen pals? Besides, I enjoy the humourous remarks and fun RPG's from people!!!!!!

Actually, Estonian chatrooms are *FULL* of that s**t.. that`s why i hate chatrooms.. unless its on IW [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Btw, Sazerac, Nice and big and shiny post you made there [img]smile.gif[/img] .</font>[/QUOTE]Gaaagh! No kidding, uss? Bah! Well, I don't have much use for chatrooms either. Ironworks is good enough for me. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Thanks, BTW, about the post. What I means regarding the chatrooms, BTW, is that if you say "discussion forum", that's immediately what these people think. It just riles me that people make such unjustifiable pronouncements on things they have never experienced. How can you have an opinion on something you know nothing about and have never experienced for yourself, after all? But they'll do it, anyhoo...

-Sazerac

I think perhaps you need to evaluate just exactly how important IW is in your life and how much time you spend here.
Do you spend every waking moment here?
When out doing something else do you long to get back to your computer so you can see what's going on here?
Do you ignore the outside world and live solely for IW?
In my opinion if you answer yes to any of these questions then it probably is a little unhealthy.
I see no problems with developing friendships on a BBS, it is no different than a pen pal, just the new tech way of conversing. If however you lose your grasp on reality and have no desire to develop relationships outside of IW then it's time to back off a bit.
Should I care if Lady Blue failed her driving test? Well it's a shame she failed it, but I certainly won't lose any sleep over it much the same as I would expect any of you to care about my problems or issues. Some advice is great and appreciated.
I can't say as I've made any good friends online, but I'm the type of person who has a handful of close, trusted friends and many acquantinces (sp?).
Bottom Line: A healthy balance between real life and online life isn't detremintal, but too much online life is. Just my two cents worth.

Since I moved to Washington Instant messenger is the only way I can keep in contact with my "real life" friends any way so some people on this forum are just as real a friend to me as my friends from hawaii ;)

[ 07-10-2002, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: caleb ]

Ditto, Saz, people get the feeling IW is a *big* chatroom, but it's so different. Here you can meet *real* people with a common interest, who came here for that interest, not to pick people up. :rolleyes:

And like Neb said, I've learned a lot more about "real life" from many people I've met here than from the people I can see and touch. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Most of what I'd like to say -- online friends etc -- has been said by the nice folks above. I suppose I'll just add this. Provided it's indulged in moderately (meaning that you don't spend hours and hours here), yes, the IW message boards can be a lovely thing.

(Yikes! Just found out that Animal has already said it, too!)

[ 07-10-2002, 08:56 PM: Message edited by: K T Ong ]

Tell your friends that we ARE real people! [img]smile.gif[/img] Really we are!

As for meeting people over the internet, your safety and your level of getting to know anyone depends on where you meet them. Like the others, I would not feel very comfortable with my knowledge of anyone I met solely through a chat room, but these forums, and emails, and phone calls or face-to-face meetings all allow you to get to know other people quite well. I met my husband over the Internet. I have met and made a lot of friends through Ironworks, some of which (Wyvern, Sazerac, Lily the Ranger, Davros, Skywalker, Moni, Adam Warlock, Scronan, and Freudianslip) I've known/corresponded with for a year and a half, and more that I've met since. Sure, I've got friends on the outside, but having moved around a lot and having been in the military, most of my friends are email penpals by necessity, living too far away to visit. What's the difference? You are as discriminatory with your friends here as you are in so-called "real life" -- you wouldn't necessarily be chummy with everyone here, as we are all different people, some of us with likes and dislikes similar to yours, and some not.

So quit worrying! What's that expression.... your friends are the family you chose to have... something like that.

just kidding on this post here

you mean you can use the internet to lure unsuspecting young children to you? OMG why didnt i think of that. or wait wait i can can sucker all the poor helpless people in large"ill call them internet scams" no one will ever think of something like that.damn tv keeps ruining my plots to control man and woman from the internet.

do you know what i am thinking pinky?

no braain what are you thinking?

you imbesile im thinking of my next way to take over the internet world.

muahahahahaha

back on a serious note here. i spend maybe an hour maybe an hour and a half after i get outta work on IW just to see whats going on in the world.that and to get wreally helpful tips on the game i am going to currently play for the next couple hours afterwards.

I am great friends with a lot of IWs members, they are REAL people. I guess there is a risk chatting with anyone on the net, i.e., not knowing if they who are who they say they are, or look like they say they look, or act like a certain person when they may be an entirely different person. But I think that those people mostly you may run into on other chatrooms. IWs is different (to me anyways) except for those few trollers or sickos we get here and there.

I've even met three people (IWs members)in person because of IWs, and all three were true blue to their personalities, etc. as they portray here. No deceptions or lies, and it was such a pleasure meeting them as well, I'll never forget it and I don't regret it one single bit! A blast it was [img]smile.gif[/img]

I think in time, when more people have access to the Net and use the Internet more, most will look upon internet boards as much like going to a bar or a coffee house, etc., we are all real, all different, good and bad, just like in real life. "Weirdos" do not dominate the internet any more than they do in real life. I mean you can meet someone in RL that is really a huge liar, gawd I've been there done that a ton of times! Again, the net is the same, not worse, the SAME just in a different environment. There are plenty of friendly normal people out there to meet on the net, people that you would never ever meet in real life or even know who they were if not for the Net. It is a great way of human communication, and it has enhanced my life, I'm not as ignorant as I used to be. ;) So IWs is worth it IMO, a very special place totally unique from anywhere else on the Net (which says A LOT!). We all come together here in friendship, all living all round the globe, all different ages and genders and interests. Ironworks is truly a Human Hub [img]smile.gif[/img]

<font color="plum">Is IronWorks healthy? Interesting question.

Is it healthy for people from across the GLOBE to....

Offer <font color="red">Aviendha</font> support and advice on how to deal with a bitter betrayal at work.

Offer heartfelt prayers and/or words of encouragemnt to <font color="orange">Earthdog</font> when his wife needed life-saving surgery.

Be understanding and sympathetic to <font color="yellow">SomeGuy's</font> problems with a school bully.

Be pulling for <font color="skyblue">LadyBlue</font> to pass her drivers license test.

Offer congratulations to <font color="lime">Downunda</font> for landing a job.

Hmmmm.....sounds like any normal family to me.

That's because IronWorks IS one large family. We may not all agree with each other, but we do all care about each other. And we don't have to worry about anybody "misrepresenting" themselves because Ziroc and the Mods do a fantastic job of allowing EVERYBODY to express their concerns and opinions without having to worry about being <font color="yellow">flamed</font> for what they say.

As others have said, ALL of my college friends live too far away to see in person. We stay in touch through e-mails. That's no different than the relationship the members have here.</font>

[ 07-10-2002, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: Cerek the Barbaric ]

<font color = lightgreen>I found <font color = red>Belle</font> through the Internet, so no one can ever tell me that the people you meet over the Internet are anything other than normal. The "worst case scenarios" you hear about on the news may indeed happen, but the same sorts of things happen all the time in real life.

IW is much, much healthier than the real-life relationships I have had in the past. Besides, how can it be unhealthy to reach out to other people and care about what goes on in thier lives? [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img] </font>

I met my fiancé here at IW. [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img]

I think it's very healthy! :D

Oddly enough, most of the people I know now I have met either directly or indirectly on the net (either I met them this way, or met their friends). I have met most of the people I call friend because of either this board or some other fashion online. For one thing, you already have something in common!

I think IW is as healthy as the way you treat it. I agree with much of what was said above - as the people here are generally how they are. This IS a community and not just a board of weirdos.... although there are some.... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Rudy would have never given me a chance if I had met him in real life. Why? My looks stood in the way. Because we met this way - online - a lot of the physical stuff wasn't an issue. He got to know me - what was in my mind and heart - before he made judgements on my looks. By the time we met - that wasn't important anymore.

There are pros and cons to any new technology... and there are those who are dragged kicking and screaming into it. Be glad you embraced it relatively early, and know more about your choices than others who don't have this experience. Or you could just introduce them to the board! :D

Internet friends more often thennot won't hurt you like people in real life do. I am greatly appreciative of Blue and I's growing friendship. Just don't loose reality. I know, it sucks but oh well.

<font color="lightblue">It might be healthy, it might be unhealhy; it`s hard to say... but it is certainly healthier than the situation Saz described of sitting infront of the TV for hours on end... this mightn`t be real life as such, but atleast you`re interacting with people you trust [img]smile.gif[/img] </font>

Personally... I don't give a flying f***. Enough said.

Do what you feel doing, it is YOU who is in control of yourself... now these guys have presented their opinions, and I agree... mostly. So it's still you who decide... I get worrisome when IW gets into level or chaos and banning again.. and so on... it brings me down... so what? I am proud to say that I have friends ALL OVER THE WORLD!!! And that if I ever get lost somewhere, I can just go to an internet cafe (given I am still alive and not mugged) and email someone asking for help.. and I am sure they will come and rescue my sorry ass... and that gives me comfort... :D

Well, you can leave at anytime you wish uss...... :rolleyes:

Wow, so far the response seems to be unanimous!

I just want to say that I never in fact thought that spending time at this forum is unhealthy. I have found it to be extremely enjoyable, educational, and thought-provoking. I simply wished to see what your viewpoints are on the matter, as I’m sure I’m not alone in receiving criticism like this.

I hope my friendships grow at IW, even if locational (I made that up) contact perhaps never occurs.

Thanks everyone.

Avi.

I've received a lot of heat from people in RL about the time I spend online and on this forum. I think it had somewhat of an effect on me even though I didn't really realize until later because for about 5 months I almost totally ignored IW. Occasionally I would poke in a bit, post once or twice, and then not visit again for 3 weeks, a month, more. If anything, THAT harmed me more than IW did. I was developing some rather good friendships with some members here that would have flourished had I not suddenly disappeared. I received a lot of help with some problems I was having from a member here at IW and if not for his help I probably would have become very unhappy and depressed.

I really don't see a whole lot of difference between people in RL and those on the 'net. Other than the lack of visual, vocal or physical cantact, there really isn't any difference. Most likely the people trying to scam you on the 'net are going to try to scam people in any other means they can. The perverted sicko's who try to proposition children on the 'net would try in RL if they haven't already. In fact, that's what they are trying to do anyways, the 'net sicko becomes a RL sicko. Basically, if you're a slime bag on the 'net, you're a slime bag in RL and you're just as likely to encounter them in either place.

People I don't think really understand what an online community really is, or they haven't experienced it. When they haven't, they don't have any perspective and so they really don't know what they're talking about. Both of my parents have online friends, very close ones. In fact, in the summer of 2000, my mom had her friend stay with us for 2 months! And this woman lives in Sweden! She was exactly the same in RL as she was on the 'net. And my parents are some of the ones who give me the least heat about my online activities. They have experienced it. My best friend tends to (or rather did, he's given up now [img]smile.gif[/img] ) give me as much trouble about it has he can. He doesn't have any friends online that he didn't meet in person first. These people who try to say how unhealthy it is really don't know what they're talking about.

If you were losing touch with the physical world and living entirely on your computer (and IW) then there'd be a problem. Don't move toward the 'net at the expense of RL. However, be careful in moving toward RL at the expense of your 'net friends. You don't want to lose anything you'd regret...

-Jafin

[ 07-11-2002, 02:24 AM: Message edited by: Jafin ]

Who says you won't meet them in person Avi. I've met 10 Ironworkers. I'll be meeting a few more in a few days too. [img]smile.gif[/img]

It's all about balance. Friends in person, friends online. Friends online are an extension of the "penpals" of yore. Outside your normal sphere and able to provide a different support. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I think internet friends is great and you learn mutch abouth people all over the world and i can`t think that is "unhealthy" (sp?)
And all the time on the news and on tv you hear about how dangerus the net are yong girls and boys that have been lured by older men to meet them and they have been atacked and so on i think that is happening but it is not hapening wery ofen i think!
And i have meet many cool people on the net that i have meet in RL and we meeting from time to time and have a beer and things like that and that is wery nice!!
I also meet Karen (Vesselle) here on IW and we had a great time together we chatted on ICQ for houers :D so i think the net is GREAT!!! THX IW!! I also make here a little more happy when she broke her toe we talked about this and she say that it helped here a lot to have someone to talk to when she had been on the hospitale for two days and so on! :D

Also here on IW you meet people that almost have the same interest`s that i have and that also is cool we can talk about games we play ask for help and thigies like that and that is also wery great.
I also use lot of time on TTLG.COM in the editor forum where we talk about problems in creating Tief missions with DromEd2 and that is WERY cool to!
I am not an good writer so i hope you can get a clue for what i tink is great here hehe!
And something that suprised me is that you Aviendha , Vessy and Ziroc like the Thief games i thot it was only me that like this games here but it is not and that make me happy to LOL :D
I have also learned a little about geographi (sp?) from all over the world to and i have learned to write in english here to on IW first when i joined IW i could almost not write an english word but now i think i am pretty good (not perfect)but better than i was in the beginning lol!
So the online life is great i think better than sitting in front of that NASTY tv and watch movies and crap all the time!
So i hope all of us can be friends for a long time to come!!!!

That was my two cent`s here! LOL :D cool topic Aviendha! [img]graemlins/drinkup.gif[/img]

Regards Eivind.

[ 07-11-2002, 03:22 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

Shattap dude you should drag your butt over here!!! :DThe terrorism is ova! too bad though coz you are already far awaaaaayy... :(

Well, you can leave at anytime you wish uss...... :rolleyes: </font>[/QUOTE]umm, i.. erm, uhh *runs away as fast as he can*

I think you should come back and use your cool "keyboard" more here! USS äöüõšž. Muwahahahaha lol! :D

[ 07-11-2002, 05:12 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

Agree with what most of the others here said. (LOL Saz, you are SO right! Some people will try to make you feel bad about having online friends when all they do is hang in front of the telly, go to work, go to sleep, watch the telly... ad infinitum)

First of all, I always have to laugh when I hear the words "real people" when talking about online friendships. As if the people you meet online are NOT real people! Are they a bunch of AI drones then? ;)
That's a disturbing attitude IMO, since I believe it causes a lot of people to overreact to posts online, and not to care about the reactions they provoke. I think you should try to interact the same way as you would with someone sitting across the table in a bar (and I know that's not always possible... but at the very least you should try and remember there's an actual person with very real feelings at the other side).
That said, it's obvious I don't make much of a difference between the people I know in my own area and the people I met online. Like some of the others, I use emails to communicate with "real life" friends as well, and I have met and will meet some of the people I've befriended online. So the boundaries are certainly fading.
As long as you don't get swallowed up by being online to the point where your other activities (work, school, friends, love) suffer, I think there's nothing wrong with it.
Yorick's absolutely right: it's all about balance.

You are!!!

You are!!!</font>[/QUOTE]LOL Donut! I'll keep that in mind! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

I'll be meeting with 8 other members this weekend and I'm starting to worry. You see, they may think that I'm as funny in real life as I am on IW but in fact I'm FAR funnier in RL. I wonder if they are going to be able to cope! ;)

When were you funny??? Give me examples, preferably accompanied by independent testimonials. In fact, medical reports from hospitals where victims whose sides you have caused to split due to uncontrollable guffawing would be nice as well.

Btw, you will not be meeting me, you will be encountering me. And don't even thing of responding with subtitles or it's no malt for the Gooner.....
[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

[ 07-11-2002, 06:49 AM: Message edited by: Mouse ]

When were you funny??? Give me examples, preferably accompanied by independent testimonials. In fact, medical reports from hospitals where victims whose sides you have caused to split due to uncontrollable guffawing would be nice as well.

Btw, you will not be meeting me, you will be encountering me. And don't even thing of responding with subtitles or it's no malt for the Gooner.....
[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]Let me see if I can find the link to that site based in Aberdeen that you once posted. How will your reputation suffer then? ;)

I think I know which one you mean, Donut ;)
It's the first hit if you do a Google search with the two words...

Actually, I cant see how IWs is a bad thing... you meet so many different ppl here, with different backgrounds and views, and thats always interesting... lol; this is gonna sound weird but, sometimes I just look around and wonder why, or how ppl can be so stupid (looking at Britian purely, local if you wish) I sometimes *do* wonder if humanitys a blight on the earth if they *all* behave in such a stupid way... I see stupid laws, and stupid taxes, which only squander money; They build more houses, then more roads, then tax ppl more... etc, then I have a look at IWs and see 'different' ppl, and that restores my faith in humanity somewhat... lol, and this coming from a 17 yr old?!

I go to IW because I want to improve my english, I always get the highest mark in English subject during my school years but I am amazed that there are a lot of people in the world whose english is better than mine. so that why I'm here.

Second reason is that people in IW don't slam each other like in message board in gamefaqs.com or 3do community. I know there is sometimes very disturbing threads here in IW but I tend to see people here can take it well.

Third reason is I can choose whether or not to receive any private messages. My experience in 3do community tells me that not all messages that people send to you are good one. some wants to get very very personal. ;)

Fourth reason? emmmm...I can't think of one. :D

The difference between meeting someone in RL and on the Net are that, here, you meet their mind, or as bset as they can express it by typing, and in RL you would be influenced by their looks, clothes, etc. Both can be deceiving, as the stranger that a girl meets in a bar who claims to be a surgeon. The longer you know someone, the better you know him/her. Besides, when you meeet someone in a bar, you are 'looking', consciously or unconsciously. In a chat room, you are saying 'I am lonely.' Here, you are saying, ' I am interested in RPG's, and that is about it.' How endangering is that?